How do you "work on listening?"

[MommaOfalotta]

I tell dd every. single. day. about 15x a day.. "Girl, we have GOT to work on your listening."

 

How exactly do I do that?! She does NOT listen. I have to repeat myself with pretty much everything I say. Or I say not to do something and literally 4 seconds later shes doing what I told her not to. I'll say "Hey! What did I just say?" And she replies, "Oh. sorry."

 

Its not that she can't hear me. Her hearing is fine. Its like shes just in her own little world and the words dont *sink in* It makes narration pretty difficult because she doesn't listen to the stories. I have to tell her 18 times to do her chores, or "Pick up your shoes.... Hey, pick up your shoes... Earth to dd, please pick up your shoes!"

 

If I'm reading a book she loves, she listens just fine. She could tell me exactly what happened in each chapter of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, but her daily bible story she often draws a blank?

 

Any suggestions/advice? Or is this just a normal kid thing? :)

[momma aimee]

hoping for ideas too .....

[*Lulu*]

Punk's OT has included an exercise where whenever we give an instruction he repeats it back to us. When we started he could only hold one or two instructions at a time; now he is up to three. The key is eye contact and consistently having them repeat whatever the instruction is.

[MommaOfalotta]

Thank you! I know she can follow a 3 step direction, etc when she is PAYING ATTENTION. Thats the trick, getting her to pay attention. I know the eye contact will really help with that.

 

I just worry about things like testing. When she is given a direction will she hear *all* of it? I tried to explain to her sometimes its like the game Simon Says. You think you hear what someone wants you to do but you need to make sure you listen to the whole statement. I will get half of a sentence out and she assumes she knows what Im going to ask and dives right in...

 

This plus homeschooling with a very busy 8 month old just makes for chaos in my head. Constantly repeating myself and I can't mentally check anything off because I know what I told her to do didn't get done.. etc. Thank you for the advice!

 

I think maybe a chore chart would help with chores.... Hmm..

[Tita Gidge]

You know, I was that student LOL.

 

I liked to doodle; still do. It helps me to focus, believe it or not. I had one teacher who found it extremely disrespectful, and I was constantly reprimanded. The following year, my (new) teacher realized that it didn't interfere with my learning, so she allowed me to doodle during her lessons. From that point on it was a crapshoot whether or not any given teacher during any given year would be okay with it. If I can't doodle, my mind wanders and I'm just in another world.

 

Maybe something like that might help her during schoolwork, especially narrations? Anything with her hands, kind of like white noise but white ... motion. Coloring, drawing, maybe even jumping jacks or tossing a ball? My son plays nerf basketball, my daughter kicks around a hackey sack. It helps. With my daughter, she would still get distracted initially - like she'd shout out, "Hey! I made six in a row!" referring to her hacky sack kicks right in the middle of my readaloud LOL. But then I reminded her that I'd take it away if it wasn't going to help because we could be distracted without it, too, she shaped up :) she's about the same age as your daughter.

[SKL]

Depends whether it's an auditory processing problem or just the child blowing you off. I've had both situations. For the latter, I decided that I should not ever have to repeat myself to children who have functioning ears. I told my kids that if I ever had to repeat any order 3 times, they would receive a consequence. This helped a lot, especially if I commented "this is the 2nd time I'm saying this." However, my eldest daughter has a processing problem that makes it difficult for her to follow along with lectures, even when she tries very hard. For her, I purchased a rather expensive music-based therapy, "The Listening Program." It seems to be helping (we are in the middle of it). Of course I wish there were something cheaper out there. :)

[MommaOfalotta]

You know, I was that student LOL.

 

I liked to doodle; still do. It helps me to focus, believe it or not. I had one teacher who found it extremely disrespectful, and I was constantly reprimanded. The following year, my (new) teacher realized that it didn't interfere with my learning, so she allowed me to doodle during her lessons. From that point on it was a crapshoot whether or not any given teacher during any given year would be okay with it. If I can't doodle, my mind wanders and I'm just in another world.

 

Maybe something like that might help her during schoolwork, especially narrations? Anything with her hands, kind of like white noise but white ... motion. Coloring, drawing, maybe even jumping jacks or tossing a ball? My son plays nerf basketball, my daughter kicks around a hackey sack. It helps. With my daughter, she would still get distracted initially - like she'd shout out, "Hey! I made six in a row!" referring to her hacky sack kicks right in the middle of my readaloud LOL. But then I reminded her that I'd take it away if it wasn't going to help because we could be distracted without it, too, she shaped up :) she's about the same age as your daughter.

 

 

Ya know... I dont know why I never thought of this.. but I had dd start coloring a picture of what I was reading in our read aloud, and she did very well! I dont know why I never thought of having her do that with Bible. I guess maybe because the stories aren't very long.. but in the end she is still having trouble paying attention,

 

THIS is why trying to school with my 8 month old is really stressing me out. If she could learn in chaos, I could teach in chaos. But she can hardly pay attention to me in an ideal setting, let alone with her brother is whining or trying to grab our books... "Hold on, Bubbys headed for the stairs." Ahh. Its something that I have really been struggling with lately. I will try my hardest to keep him quiet and entertained, I'll get through the whole Bible story and I'll ask "Okay, can you tell me what happened?" She will repeat the first sentence of the story word for word and then shes like "Umm.... I dont know." :banghead:

 

I know Ive used the word a lot, but lately our school time just feels chaotic. I get overwhelmed and then I get impatient. I dont take it out on her or anything, but its really stressing me out.

[MusicMama]

Adjusting to a new member of the family is tough. Can you do school while Ds is asleep? Maybe school time would have to be moved, but saving the listening heavy subjects for when the house is quieter may help. Also, if you are stressed about baby making noise, she will pick up on it. It's ok for there to be chaos. Life will be chaotic for the next 18 years or more. :) I have found more difficulties arise when I try to force what previously worked into my current life situation.

 

My ODS is very distracted. Before I give instructions, I touch him gently on the arm or shoulder and ask him to look at me. I can't yell across the room, or toss out an instruction over my shoulder. He needs my total focus to help him totally focus. He also loves doing puzzles or coloring during school. Keeping his hands busy often calms him, and keeps the rest of his body still.

[SKL]

When I took my kid to a developmental pediatrician to try to get a referral for the listening problem, she suggested this: have her read a very short story and then tell what the story was about. Supposedly something about the process of reading and then telling helps develop the listening part of the brain.

[Parrothead]

She may not be an auditory learner.

 

I can't remember anything if I'm just spoken to. Things like Bible stories, a letter written aloud, multiple instructions, etc drive me batty. I might think, "this is a good homily I'll have to remember to tell my friend about it." By the time church is over I've forgotten it in its entirety. I have to read it online.

 

I have to follow along what someone is reading or learn about the subject in a hands-on manner. In the last few years I've given up even trying. If after 45 years I've not figured out how to do it, I'm not going to.

 

Please try to hold out until your dd can read. That and a bit of maturity may very well do it for her.

[Hwin]

My son does really well if he takes notes. A fine-motor impaired 7yo taking notes. It's laboriously long, as you can imagine, but he retains a lot more. Basically, we skim half of the readings and take a lot of time on the stuff that I think he is more likely to be interested in. I agree with drawing pictures as well, although that's hit or miss with my son.

[SKL]

I too am a poor listener. I learn by reading or figuring something out in my own quiet way. Talking at me beyond a few brief thoughts will accomplish nothing. My daughter is similar, so I'm pushing "reading to learn," and the kind of reading comprehension that helps on following directions etc.

[In The Great White North]

For her, I purchased a rather expensive music-based therapy, "The Listening Program." It seems to be helping (we are in the middle of it). Of course I wish there were something cheaper out there. :)

 

What's the difference between this and listening to (or learning to play) the classical music on your own?

 

When I looked at the website, I saw lots of "price-enhancing" buzz-words (proprietary, Dolby, surround-sound, enhanced, etc) but couldn't find exactly what or why it was supposed to be different or better.

[*Lulu*]

Okay, after reading your responses I think what you were asking and what I *thought* you were asking are not one and the same!

 

So here is my $0.02:

 

If the concern is when you are reading, try minimizing the chaos and allowing her to keep her hands busy. A quick forum search should yield lots of threads where people have listed quiet activities that be done while listening.

 

If the concern is following directions, make sure you are getting her attention before you start and have her repeat the instructions.

 

If the concern is her inability to follow through on her chores, remember she is still young and may need you to walk her through things still or even to break down the tasks into smaller chunks.

 

Lastly, extend some grace to everyone in your household, including yourself, because living with a tiny person can be wild!

 

 

 

 

edited for silly typos

[Tita Gidge]

 

Ya know... I dont know why I never thought of this.. but I had dd start coloring a picture of what I was reading in our read aloud, and she did very well! I dont know why I never thought of having her do that with Bible. I guess maybe because the stories aren't very long.. but in the end she is still having trouble paying attention,

 

THIS is why trying to school with my 8 month old is really stressing me out. If she could learn in chaos, I could teach in chaos. But she can hardly pay attention to me in an ideal setting, let alone with her brother is whining or trying to grab our books... "Hold on, Bubbys headed for the stairs." Ahh. Its something that I have really been struggling with lately. I will try my hardest to keep him quiet and entertained, I'll get through the whole Bible story and I'll ask "Okay, can you tell me what happened?" She will repeat the first sentence of the story word for word and then shes like "Umm.... I dont know." :banghead:

 

I know Ive used the word a lot, but lately our school time just feels chaotic. I get overwhelmed and then I get impatient. I dont take it out on her or anything, but its really stressing me out.

 

 

You had me at chaos LOL. I rather enjoy chaos, for some reason I function best in a busy environment. I have one child, though, who needs absolute perfection to learn. Perfect temperature, perfect feeling outfit, perfect lighting, perfect breakfast in his belly, and worse of all - perfect harmonious learning space. My cluttered kitchen table doesn't relax him the way it does me ;) and our loud, big family doesn't either. It's so challenging to engage a 7 year old while keeping up with a crawler/toddler. That you get ANYTHING academic accomplished in a given day should be considered a feat during this season of life! Add to that your student might not be an auditory learner (which is the easiest way to teach during chaotic, busy times) and there's no winning, is there?

 

Hugs, Mama!

 

I have a big family, so there were always older kids to help out with little ones but we had eldercare issues that required a lot of my time and intermittent attention the year my student was 5-6 years old. Talk about trying to keep people quiet and entertained, boy howdy, it was a challenge! That year I finally threw in the towel and did a very light schedule. I decided the classical ideals could wait until life calmed down a bit, and instead we did math and FIAR. We also did some SOTW, but mostly listening to the CDs (which I was originally too cheap to buy, but ultimately came to think were a great investement because while not an auditory learner just having it on in the background it truly did just sink in - to DD and to me, too!) and doing the occasional project. In another year life calmed down, and we resumed a more rigorous, classical approach. She picked back up just fine, a bit more mature even, and I was able to lessen the stress it was causing me.

 

Another option for another year or so, is the library. When she was 1-6 she did story time at the library, while I homeschooled the harder things quietly in the back of the room with the elementary kids. It was awesome. If you have a grandparent or friend nearby to sit with the toddler during class, even better. You and the student can sit at a table in another part of the library and get work done. For some reasons my kids have always focused better at the library LOL. We also did school at McD's during those days, so I could keep an eye on her while she played in the kiddie area. Once school was done, the students got to play for a bit also. Or a cookie, if I was short on time (or just sick of McD).

 

Good luck. Chaos is hard to deal with, that's for sure!

[SKL]

What's the difference between this and listening to (or learning to play) the classical music on your own?

 

When I looked at the website, I saw lots of "price-enhancing" buzz-words (proprietary, Dolby, surround-sound, enhanced, etc) but couldn't find exactly what or why it was supposed to be different or better.

 

I don't really know how to articulate it. Something about how they play with different individual sounds going into each ear. There is also something on the headset that supposedly affects the brain physically. To be honest, it sounds a little like snake oil when I try to explain it, but I went with my gut because I trust the therapist. The practice has done a lot for my kid in other areas (vision therapy and primitive reflex therapy). I did ask on here and those who responded said it worked, though it might not be the best value out there for the dollar. Unfortunately, if a kid is under 7, almost nobody will bother with an eval or referral let alone therapy for auditory processing. So I felt like it was do this or do nothing. .... I should note that my kids always hear good music, and they also play the piano. That in itself is apparently not enough to fix my kid's listening issues.

[Hwin]

I don't really know how to articulate it. Something about how they play with different individual sounds going into each ear. There is also something on the headset that supposedly affects the brain physically. To be honest, it sounds a little like snake oil when I try to explain it, but I went with my gut because I trust the therapist. The practice has done a lot for my kid in other areas (vision therapy and primitive reflex therapy). I did ask on here and those who responded said it worked, though it might not be the best value out there for the dollar. Unfortunately, if a kid is under 7, almost nobody will bother with an eval or referral let alone therapy for auditory processing. So I felt like it was do this or do nothing. .... I should note that my kids always hear good music, and they also play the piano. That in itself is apparently not enough to fix my kid's listening issues.

 

 

PICC LEAH (special needs branch of the NY Christian homeschooling organization) has this as part of their lending library. I've heard great things about it, but haven't looked into it myself.

[MommaOfalotta]

Thank you for all of the replies! I feel really good about all of the advice. I'll be trying it out tomorrow.. :)

 

ETA: I think I just need to keep my mind *clear and calm* and deep breaths.. I think that will help, too! lol