Why is it so hard? Ugh...

[Mynyel]

So dd15 copped a tude today. She was carrying on about her brothers making to much noice and so on and I got tired of it. Told her she needed to go to her room is she wanted quiet. I didn't think it fair to make 4 people in the house be quite for 1 person when that 1 person can go to her room for quiet.

 

Well she didn't like it and had an attitude and then was really disrespectful about it. In the course of my not so calm talking I told her she couldn't go to karate. She thought she could still go if she got all her school work done. After her attitude I don't want to take her at all. What I don't know is if my usual not wanting to go is getting in the way.

 

I don't like taking her. It is a 30 minute trip there, 90 minutes there and then 30 minutes back. I can't go home while she is there that is just to much driving. My youngest pitches a royal fit if he can't go (he just loves going places) and he and I both get bored stiff sitting there for that time. There isn't a park anywhere close I can take him to (and even that would get tedious after awhile).. So put bluntly I can't stand going.

 

So I don't know if that is clouding my judgement or not. *sigh* Being a parent is hard.

[AK_Mom4]

:grouphug: I totally understand about not wanting to transport teens with bad attitudes, but if refusing to take her to karate is your "go-to" reaction for everything, then yes, the judgement might be off. But I can't blame you for hating to have 2.5 hours tied up driving and waiting - that is a really long time. I guess I would look for other things I could do during that time - grocery shopping, going out for dinner, reading. And if the little one can't hang out that long, leave him out in spite of the fit. Listening to a bored kid must just make it that much worse, so tell him tough cookies.

 

I would hope that having her get some physical exercise might help with the bad attitude. It usually works miracles around here.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Exercise for our kids is non-negotiable in our family. And for ds15, his martial arts is non-negotiable even if he gets other exercise because of the discipline and self control he learns there. Personally, I think I would give her a couple of options for dealing with the noise - going to her room (or another quiet room) would be one of them, using headphones might be another. . . I don't know why she is in karate so far away but unless you are willing to commit to commuting that distance, I might look into other forms of exercise for her. Or carpooling. On the other hand, she's 15, so it may be that next year she will be driving herself there and back.