psychmom Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 (edited) Did anyone see/hear this NPR Report today? I thought it fits in well with recent threads about kids who don't like making mistakes, are perfectionistic, etc. It hadn't really occurred to me that there were cultural factors in play as well, although of course it makes sense. This makes me glad that we are not using grading in homeschool, because I think that would be the sole criterion my dd would use to measure her success. Edited November 13, 2012 by psychmom oops--link not correct-- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I was just coming to post it! Someone left a rude comment on my blog for the gifted education blog tour, which is months old, linking it. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I would argue that I DO see that focus on persistence, practice, and effort in sports and in music. I've also seen it more in academics, paradoxically, in our test-prep focused PS culture, where the kids will often practice all year for a one-shot deal, than in the time I grew up in. So I guess what I'm thinking is that we may be going away from this idea-or, at least, those professionals working with kids are being trained away from it. Parents are likely to take another generation or more to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 What a wonderful article! This idea of needing to struggle and work hard really plays into why and how we homeschool. Just this morning dd8 was really struggling with a math problem (from SM CWP). After about 5 minutes, she started to complain loudly that she was stuck on the problem. I smiled at her and continued to work with dd4. I didn't even respond to her. Finally, she announced (triumphantly) that she had gotten it. I checked her work and said (basically), "You worked really hard on this problem. I knew you could figure it out if you kept working at it." She absolutely glowed. I know she would never have these experiences in our local public school. She would always be working at math that was below her level and they would constantly tell her how smart she is. I try very hard to make sure that my kids are always working at a level of challenge, but not quite frustration. I try to choose curriculum that allows them to think deeply and work things out on their own. I try to step back and let them work independently (not so hard when I have little ones to be busy with). I do try to be mindful of how I speak to my children also (specific praise that focuses on the effort), but it isn't always natural. Somehow it's easier to talk that way about music. I've really had to change the way I talk about academic work, because I have a lifetime of hearing, "Wow! You are so smart. You are so gifted." It's been hard to move away from that script, but I find that it does make a difference. It matters that you believe what you're saying also. I do believe in IQ and giftedness, but I also believe that they are one small piece of the puzzle along with creativity, opportunity, and resources. Effort and perserverance are the biggest chunk and those are hard things to instill in a child who does everything easily. For us it's been piano lessons. Nothing teaches hard work and perserverance like piano lessons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychmom Posted November 13, 2012 Author Share Posted November 13, 2012 What a wonderful article! This idea of needing to struggle and work hard really plays into why and how we homeschool. Just this morning dd8 was really struggling with a math problem (from SM CWP). After about 5 minutes, she started to complain loudly that she was stuck on the problem. I smiled at her and continued to work with dd4. I didn't even respond to her. Finally, she announced (triumphantly) that she had gotten it. I checked her work and said (basically), "You worked really hard on this problem. I knew you could figure it out if you kept working at it." She absolutely glowed. I know she would never have these experiences in our local public school. She would always be working at math that was below her level and they would constantly tell her how smart she is. I try very hard to make sure that my kids are always working at a level of challenge, but not quite frustration. I try to choose curriculum that allows them to think deeply and work things out on their own. I try to step back and let them work independently (not so hard when I have little ones to be busy with). I do try to be mindful of how I speak to my children also (specific praise that focuses on the effort), but it isn't always natural. Somehow it's easier to talk that way about music. I've really had to change the way I talk about academic work, because I have a lifetime of hearing, "Wow! You are so smart. You are so gifted." It's been hard to move away from that script, but I find that it does make a difference. It matters that you believe what you're saying also. I do believe in IQ and giftedness, but I also believe that they are one small piece of the puzzle along with creativity, opportunity, and resources. Effort and perserverance are the biggest chunk and those are hard things to instill in a child who does everything easily. For us it's been piano lessons. Nothing teaches hard work and perserverance like piano lessons. :iagree: Same here! Piano is something that my dd loves, but she has to work at. I still sometimes catch myself saying "you're smart" to my kids (and other kids) but I'm really trying to drop that habit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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