Impish Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 ok. Wolf has a 'niece' (tech she's his cousin's dd, but our kids call them aunt and uncle, and that's what she calls us too) in her early 20s. About a mth ago, she asked me if she could come stay w/us around the end of Aug. Of course, we told her she was welcome anytime. In talking, I mentioned that once we move, I'll be able to finally hire someone to come help me w/housework, etc. She volunteered to do that while she was here (and of course, I'd pay her what I would've been paying anyways). Then, a wk ago, she tells me that she got an offer to fly to another province, and wouldn't be coming. Ok. I was a bit put out, honestly, feeling like we'd been ditched b/c she got a better offer, but hey, she's in her early 20s, now's the time to travel and explore, so I really did understand. Disappointed, which I didn't tell her b/c I didn't want to guilt her at all, but yeah, I'd been looking forward to her being here b/c I genuinely enjoy her company. Then, yesterday, she contacts me again, asking if she did come here, if the job was still available, her helping out around the house. I told her yes...and then asked when she'd be making a decision. Am I being unreasonable, wanting her to make a choice and stick to it? I feel a bit like a yo yo...she's coming, all excited, then nope, she's not, and now a maybe. Part of the reason I'm wanting to get this nailed down is that some of the women that work for Wolf right now also do house cleaning in the off season...so I'd like to make arrangements for what I need, incl when we move. Being able to hire someone to help clean, pack, unpack would be a huge help, since I don't think Wolf wants to hire movers this go 'round. WWYD? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I would line up my own life with reliable resources -- the women who are willing to be stable/committed in their plans. Then let the cousin/niece visit if she wants, but not "for business." Just a nice family visit, and she can help out in small ways for free in exchange for your hospitality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 Well, I know working for me would be a big help for her, so I don't want to take that off the table unless there's no other option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Well, I know working for me would be a big help for her, so I don't want to take that off the table unless there's no other option. True. And her making a commitment would be a big help to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I would just tell her that you would LOVE to have her stay but need a definite decision by X date in order to line up the things in your own life. Then, if she doesn't make a decision or changes her mind, you should go ahead and make plans with another housekeeper regardless of whether she ends up staying with you or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I'd just tell her that she needs to decide about the job. Let her know she is welcome to visit whenever she has the opportunity and if she just wants to come visit without working that would be great. But if she wants the job she needs to commit. Otherwise you need to make other arrangements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 True. And her making a commitment would be a big help to you. I would just tell her that you would LOVE to have her stay but need a definite decision by X date in order to line up the things in your own life. Then, if she doesn't make a decision or changes her mind, you should go ahead and make plans with another housekeeper regardless of whether she ends up staying with you or not. I'd just tell her that she needs to decide about the job. Let her know she is welcome to visit whenever she has the opportunity and if she just wants to come visit without working that would be great. But if she wants the job she needs to commit. Otherwise you need to make other arrangements. Thanks. I think I will approach it as the job and visit are seperate issues...that she's welcome anytime, but I do need to know if she's going to be here for the move, etc. I feel bad, honestly. She's got a fair bit going on in her life, and I hate to be putting more pressure on her, but I *do* need to make arrangements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 No, you are not being unreasonable at all. I would just kindly tell her you would appreciate a decision as you have the opportunity to have other help come in if she can't come. This is important, given your health concerns and need to take care of Boo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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