mariposa Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Just needed to share with some people who would empathize! I've had a sore throat for a couple days and finally decided I should have it checked. I'm part of a big HMO and my regular doctor wasn't in today so had to see someone else in a different department. About 3 minutes into the visit it came up that I home schooled (I think I said something about the kids being home which she kinda jumped on - how old are they and why are they home kind of thing). Anyway, she immediately started asking me about that pretty aggressively, I don't remember all the details but I do remember something about "devil's advocate" and of course "socialization" came up repeatedly. She must not have had many patients because we had a 15 minute discussion - seriously. Now had I known ahead and planned, in retrospect I would have politely said that I'd prefer to focus on the fact that I'm sick, pregnant, and just want to know if I have strep or not so could we focus on my health, the reason why I'm here. INSTEAD I respectfully and calmly answered her questions. I think a lot of different things I've read on this board have developed a pretty articulate answer to most of those questions (thanks, everybody!). :thumbup: Anyway, by the time I left, she was telling me that I was obviously a very thoughtful mom, raising kids with strong values. I really don't know what I said that seemed to change her mind (or if possibly she realized how totally unprofessional she was being), but it ended up feeling like a positive for me. Maybe next time she won't start off being so hostile if another homeschooler shows up in her office... Then I went home, called my mom, and burst into tears about the whole encounter - we'll blame the hormones and lack of sleep. Oh, and I don't have strep, just a cold that never ends. -Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Glad you do not have steep, and thank you for saving another mom with less articulate answers (such as myself) from having to defend a choice that should not need defending. Doctors here used to attack like that too, but now there are so many of us that they keep quiet lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Sorry you had to go through that. It surprises me to hear about such negativity from a health care professional about homeschooling today. I don't know why. Feel better soon. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoo Keeper Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 :001_smile::001_smile: Sounds like you kept your cool and responded very well. Well done! Can I take you with me when I go to our family doctor tomorrow? He ALWAYS gives us his little "why we shouldn't be homeschooling" lecture. Sometimes I listen nicely, thank him for sharing his thoughts and move on; other times, I don't listen so nicely...;) No, we're not changing doctors; I like how he practices medicine, and he really does care about our family. He just happens to be wrong about our kid's education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Be glad you are in an HMO, so the visit should be covered even though she talked your ear off. I had a doctor do that once (but talking about herself, not me), and then she charged me for the extra time. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mariposa Posted May 9, 2012 Author Share Posted May 9, 2012 I've had doctors bring up "socialization" at the kids' appointments before, but they're usually pretty careful. I live in the D.C. area, and there are plenty of homeschoolers; I'm part of a huge umbrella group. So you'd think they'd be used to it by now! Wish I could take some credit for an articulate response, but I FELT more like a deer in the headlights! Still, I'm glad the right words apparently bubbled out of somewhere! I was stunned when she started complimenting me... Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Just needed to share with some people who would empathize! I've had a sore throat for a couple days and finally decided I should have it checked. I'm part of a big HMO and my regular doctor wasn't in today so had to see someone else in a different department. About 3 minutes into the visit it came up that I home schooled (I think I said something about the kids being home which she kinda jumped on - how old are they and why are they home kind of thing). Anyway, she immediately started asking me about that pretty aggressively, I don't remember all the details but I do remember something about "devil's advocate" and of course "socialization" came up repeatedly. She must not have had many patients because we had a 15 minute discussion - seriously. Now had I known ahead and planned, in retrospect I would have politely said that I'd prefer to focus on the fact that I'm sick, pregnant, and just want to know if I have strep or not so could we focus on my health, the reason why I'm here. INSTEAD I respectfully and calmly answered her questions. I think a lot of different things I've read on this board have developed a pretty articulate answer to most of those questions (thanks, everybody!). :thumbup: Anyway, by the time I left, she was telling me that I was obviously a very thoughtful mom, raising kids with strong values. I really don't know what I said that seemed to change her mind (or if possibly she realized how totally unprofessional she was being), but it ended up feeling like a positive for me. Maybe next time she won't start off being so hostile if another homeschooler shows up in her office... Then I went home, called my mom, and burst into tears about the whole encounter - we'll blame the hormones and lack of sleep. Oh, and I don't have strep, just a cold that never ends. -Sarah Oh, of course. You had a sore throat because you HOME SCHOOL. It must be a risk factor. (sarcasm). She should shut up, seriously. Sounds like you handled it well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mariposa Posted May 9, 2012 Author Share Posted May 9, 2012 Can I take you with me when I go to our family doctor tomorrow? He ALWAYS gives us his little "why we shouldn't be homeschooling" lecture. Sometimes I listen nicely, thank him for sharing his thoughts and move on; other times, I don't listen so nicely... No, we're not changing doctors; I like how he practices medicine, and he really does care about our family. He just happens to be wrong about our kid's education. Wow, you are brave! I'm so relieved that I don't ever have to see that dr. again! I will add, I didn't feel like she was a very good DOCTOR either - she looked at my throat and then launched into what she wanted to talk about. I said to my husband, "she didn't even check my ears!" :lol: Be glad you are in an HMO, so the visit should be covered even though she talked your ear off. I had a doctor do that once (but talking about herself, not me), and then she charged me for the extra time. That's terrible! I did think, at least this only cost me $5. And our regular doctors are fine, some of them are even exceptional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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