At what point do I just throw in the towel (or not) ?

[ShelleyW]

We are 13 weeks into VT. Things are going well as far as progress dd has made. I have seen a real difference in her reading over the past 3 months. However, I am tired. I am tired of fighting with her to do her VT exercises every.stinking.day. Every day. There is never a variation from the theme of fighting with her to get it done. She does not care. Does not care that her eyes are working better, does not care that I have to drive 45 mins each way every Wed. for her, does not care that it will improve her life forever. I don't expect her to appreciate the sacrifices I make for her either timewise or financial. I do expect her to work with me though, I expect her to try to improve herself. She does not. I told dh that we are going to have a sit down meeting with her and him tonight before I pay another $2,000 + to fight with my dd for the next 3 months.

 

I have never been a quitter at anything. I really feel like quitting this. I really do.

 

Thanks for reading my vent.

[TippyCanoe]

.

[ShelleyW]

Doodler, this is my 10 yo dd. I am at the point where I wonder if she has just given up and I am wasting my time. She still has a long way to go. Unfortunately, we cannot go on like this. I am also wondering if we should just take a break. It has been a tough year for dd. We have been working really hard on reading. She has gained 2 grade levels since Sept. :) and I have really pushed her. She is the kind of kid that needs pushing though. I plan to talk to the doc after I sit down with dh and decide where we should go from here. I expect the doc won't be surprised if we take a break b/c he keeps giving me pep talks which tells me he suspects the difficulties I am having w/dd.

[TippyCanoe]

.

[MomatHWTK]

Every time I meet with DS' therapist, she tells me I don't need to push so much. I think she'd prefer if I backed off actually. She basically said until the emotional issues are worked out, I need to relax.

 

I have trouble not wanting to move DS forward, because I want him to stay "on track." But in the grand scheme of things, she's probably right. DS could do with some successes in life. KWIM?

[PeterPan]

Well that was the age we did it (11-12), and it WAS awful. Sigh. I totally get it. We did minimal to no academics then and I used every form of bribery imaginable. I gained quite a bit of weight that year (20 pounds over the course of a year, year and a half) from the marshmallow and candy bribery, the drives, etc.

 

We took a break half way through, and that helped immensely. Also, this was just us, but it turned out later that she needed glasses. The doc who did her regular eye exam was NOT the VT doc. I wonder in retrospect how much of it was her eyes. But it's just her. Yes I've had the "you're ungrateful for all the things I do for you" talk with her. Don't know whether to laugh or sigh.

 

I say take a 1-2 week break, take a little family vacation, and then come back at it fresh. For us the reading improved naturally. I would back off on that instruction. If you're only getting an hour a day with her, let that hour be fighting over the VT homework and nothing else. Yes, my dd stretched 15 minutes out to an hour and a half quite regularly. But you know, it HURT.

 

The problem with stopping is it's only making a pain in the butt for you in the long run. My kid made huge strides because of VT, and not doing it would have meant *I* would have been the one swimming upstream, trying to figure out how to deal with the problems. So solving her problem makes YOUR life better. Do it for that reason. She's not going to want all this for a very long time, probably till she's 35 or 40.

 

I hear you on the cost. Suck up and get it done if you have the money. There's nothing more sucky that going into junior high with nagging problems. Fixing them now is making YOUR life better, honest. She'll be less of a pain later.

 

And definitely check on that eye thing to see if her scrip is right or if she needs one. :)

[momsuz123]

My kiddos are both in VT. They are 8 and 6. My 8 y/o resists more than my 6 y/o - but they feed off of one another.:glare: This is what I have been doing, and it works farily well. On the day they have VT, I explain that we will "take it easy" in school that day. They seem to like that thought process. Plus, for every day that they do their exercises with NO complaining, they get a point. I told them that they need to make up a wish list of things/toys they want. For example, one wants a really good camera (not a toy one), one wants the Irig for the ipad, etc. I explained to each girl that the toys/things they want they can earn from doing their VT. My husband and I decide how many points each item is worth.

It has really helped a ton in our house. You and I know that the kids NEED VT, they just don't get it, and they aren't. Call it bribery, I don't care, if it works, it works.:001_smile: Hope this helps some - good luck.

[ShelleyW]

Thanks for your thoughts. I definitely am going to take a break from VT. We are going on vacation in 2 weeks anyway and then the VT goes the 1st week in June so maybe now is the time to take a break. I for sure don't want to give it up but I am just so worn out from it all. My ds is dyslexic too (not in VT right now) so I feel stretched so thin from all the therapies and accomodations everyone needs from me now.

 

I have been bribing dd and she simply does not care. I pay my son $1/day for reading lessons w/o complaining. He has racked up major bucks. DD, she doesn't even keep track. I have offered her an iPod touch (which she wants) for so many weeks of compliance in VT, nothing. What's funny is that is so out of character for dh and I. This is pretty much the only opportunity she will have to get it anytime soon but she isn't that motivated I guess.

[PeterPan]

My dd isn't motivated by money either. I tried lego kits, minimal success. What motivated her was having something really GREAT to do after we were done. Like do your VT and we're going to the really amazing park. Go do the VT and we'll go feed ducks at the pond and get ice cream at the shop there. Do your VT and we'll go to amish country. Field trips, going somewhere. And then of course food. Chocolate, marshmallows, more marshmallows, bigger marshmallows...

 

Enjoy your vacation. You've certainly earned it!! :)