Need some help with my 16 year old DS

[cseitter]

My 16 year old DS has been in PS most of his educational career with the exception of 8th grade and now 10th grade and the rest of high school. He is very sports oriented and has an outgoing personality. He is a very non confrontational person. He has a growth disorder and has been on growth hormone shots since he was 10. Thankfully he is now 5'6 and not the smallest anymore. He has also filled out to be rather muscular. He is ADHD and is on medication. I will be keeping him home an extra year and scratch the year he did in PS for 9th grade to give him some more time to develop and mature before college.

 

I tell you all this because he is VERY insecure about himself especially his schoolwork and his apprearance. I shouldn't have let him go back to public school last year for nineth but he really wanted to go "to try high school" but it killed any self-esteem he had left.

 

Now he second guesses everything he does as far as school work. He says all the time that he isn't smart and his self confidence is nil. He has LOTS of gaps in his education (ie. he can't write a paragraph or a complete sentence) so he just doesn't try. He can NOT get his school work done in a day. he says he wants to do fun things instead of reading or sitting at a desk all the time. Now to be honest if he really applied himself OR if there is something he really wants to do then he will get it done and will do well but I have caught him cheating a couple of times just so he can get out of doing the work which really bothers me as he is not generally a dishonest person.

 

How do I make his school day fun? He is a HIGH SCHOOLer not a K'er. He sees his 2 younger siblings doing school time which are full of games and breaks and he wants to be like them.

 

Also how can I help him with his self esteem?

 

Here is our schedule (he is using workboxes in the traditional fashion to help him organize). He has (in random order):

 

Easy Grammar 10- He does 2 workbook pages a day (we are doing 2 pgs a day because he is that far behind in the book from the beginning of the year)- Next year we are going to analytical grammar.

 

Dive Biology with a co-op dissection lab

 

TOG Yr 2 History and Lit- He is doing the Dialectic level work for both. He was having a really hard time with the Rhetoric level so we moved back after a couple of weeks. Interestingly enough before he told me he didn't like anything about school and now he says he really likes history so that is a good step forward

 

Geometry with Jann in TX online- He has a really hard time with math and not mathmatical at all. He has trouble with logic.

 

IEW- He has a co-op he does on Thurs and we also are very slowly doing SICC-B as we did SWI B in 8th. He needs ALOT of hand holding in writing and will NOT do it if I am not sitting next to him.

 

Vocab we are doing http://quizlet.com/1062622/psat-lesson-1-flash-cards/ for PSAT prep. He took the PSAT last fall and didn't score well on any of the english portion. He didn't study either I just wanted him to take it to get some experience and know what it was like

 

Psych is really informal and with a group of teenagers led by a good friend of mine.

 

He is currently President at the Toastmasters club and doing well although he wouldn't choose to do toastmasters if I hadn't of signed him up for it.

 

Piano lessons

We are currently reading Sherlock Holmes aloud.

 

So any ideas on how to help this kid. I love him so much and I want him to be sucessful in life. He IS smart but just hasn't tapped into it all yet. It gets so fustrating to listen to him say he can't do something. Or he just WON'T do something if he thinks it is to hard for him. He really doesn't have many interests outside of sports or video games and his friends.

 

Sorry for how long this is and if you have read this far I appreciate it!

[itsheresomewhere]

Is there any video game clubs or clubs that design video games near you? It might be a great way to build him up. Some 4-H have this or might be able to direct you to the correct location.

[cseitter]

I did try to talk to him about designing games or something like that. He isn't interested he says. He doesn't like the computer and the only games he likes are sports games. The video games have gotten less and less as his sports interest has taken off. He only plays now at night after everyone has gone to bed.

 

He does play basketball and did play football. He does NOT like to go into situations where he doesn't know anyone which is normal but difficult for homeschooling. You just aren't going to go everywhere where you know everyone.

[Trilliums]

I think kids get a boost to their self esteem when they tackle difficult situations and have success. The trick seems to be finding the right difficulty level for them.

 

If enjoys sports, I would try to find opportunities for him to excel in that area. Homeschool sport teams, summer camps, local teams, etc. If none exist, you can try to get something started, even if it is just a casual baseball game twice a month. I now this is easier said then done, but it might be worth the effort to see if you can find a couple of other teens interested in the same thing.

 

Also, regarding gaps in his education...I would put filling in the gaps as a top priority. Hmmm....IMO, I would drop Easy Grammar, stick with IEW and add in something like Writing With Skill (yes, it is designed for younger kids, but it does not talk down to kids and for teenagers, it does not come across as childish). The writing assignments are fairly short and they might give him small successes that will boost his writing confidence. You can get a sample and try it out.

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/resource-roundup/writing-with-skill-the-full-table-of-contents-and-first-seven-weeks/

It also helps with developing a more analytical mind frame for reading comprehension. I would wait until you do AG to get an intensive grammar foundation.

 

Has he done any kind of critical thinking activities like Mind Benders? I'd start with some simple logic problems and even visual problem solving programs. Critical Thinking Co has many booklets with these types of problems. Your local library might have some as well. http://www.criticalthinking.com/getProductDetails.do?code=c&id=01335

Sherlock Holmes stories are great too. :)

 

I's also try to tie in some geometry with architecture related to whatever historical period he is studying.

 

:grouphug: to you and hope all goes well!

[MomatHWTK]

For my DS, the ADHD includes a processing speed disorder that makes writing (transferring thought to hand) difficult. He also suffers from anxiety. Is your DS in continued therapy? We have found the therapy along with the medications to be helpful. DS is taking medication for anxiety in addition to the ADHD treatment.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Regarding the schedule you posted, I'd drop the former grammar and just go with the IEW and vocab work. I'd also be so glad that he's enjoying history, and I'd take steps to be sure that continues, even if it means severely tweaking TOG's lesson plan. (Would he prefer to learn more by watching corresponding movies or documentaries? Would he like to act out a part of his history lesson to the youngers, or direct them in a short play for you?) Because you mentioned his difficulty with writing, I'd also be sure that any TOG writing assignment was doable for him.

 

Take something that he enjoys and turn it into a course for him. It doesn't have to be particularly formal. You said he likes video games. How about letting him try his hand at computer programming? (Alice is one program available free online, and there's also a book you can purchase.) Does he like music? Another boardie created a course where her dd digitally creates music to go along with a video game.

 

Or sports. Would he find it interesting to have a class based on the history of sports, whether it's a particular sport or several?

 

Your options are endless, and you can always post here to see what others might suggest.

 

He might find more interests if he were scheduled a few hours each week of "free time." My kids used to have this, and it basically meant they were free to do anything that didn't include a screen.

 

Because you mentioned SATs, and because he's 16, the continued vocab exposure is good. Is he signed up to receive the SAT question of the day? I found them helpful from the perspective that you could figure out how to work the problem, and I appreciated that it also showed the percentage of students who got an answer right. If he gets it wrong, he'll know there are plenty others in that same boat; if he gets it right, he'll see that many others did not.

 

As you consider SATs and essay writing, consider what he thinks about Andrew. If he likes him, I'd encourage you to look at IEW's High School Essay Intensive. Otherwise, we found A Lively Art of Writing to be simple, fast, and extremely effective. (We went through about a dozen as we prepared for the SAT essay :glare:.)

 

I'd use this time to really work on building that family relationship--between the two of you, between him and your dh, between him and your younger kids. If possible, involve him more in planning not only his school path, but also in other areas where you value his opinion. Let his self worth come from how he views himself in your family.

 

His participation in Toastmasters is impressive! There are a lot of things kids do because their parents sign them up. He's going, he's not arguing, and he's doing well. Good for him, and yay Mom!

 

I also admire that you are continuing to help him so much with his writing. My dd is similar in math, in that she wants me right there. Over the past year, she's weaned herself a bit, but I am always in the room. I can imagine that it's difficult to devote that kind of time, especially since you have two youngers, but your dedication to seeing this through will serve as a great model for your entire family.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[cseitter]

TOG is the only thing he is even close to finishing. We are in Year 2 and he has one lesson left. I was justing thinking about starting him on some documentaries.

 

I just had a conversation with him about why he can't get his work done etc. he says that he is scared that he will get it wrong then have to do it over again. He was diagnosed with anxiety a year ago but he refuses to take the medication. I can barely get him to take his ADD meds and that is with a daily fight and reminder.

 

I think I will scrap the grammar. It isn't working anyway. I talked to Jann and he will be retaking Algebra I next year.

 

This year has been a real eye opener. In 8th grade he did fantastic. We had a really good year. This year though it seems like he is in slow motion to do anything.

[Gingerbread Mama]

Your post made me tear up. You could have described my boys, except they aren't as old as your son (and the oldest is quite a big kid for his age, but the youngest is super tiny!) I can feel your frustration!

 

I'm still trying to iron things out. I will tell you this, though, at least he has SOME interest (sports) that get him out of the house. My oldest has NONE. It makes it very, very hard to find things to get him involved to boost his confidence.

 

Do your younger kids play any sports? Could he maybe help with their practices? I know I have coached soccer and cheerleading, if I knew a kid who was good at either and enthusiastic enough to come help me with practices, I'd be all over that. Is there a Y near you? I've seen on some of the websites about programs where teens help out with younger kids in classes/sport type things. Not sure what that is called. Or, if you have a homeschool group that does PE, could he assist the younger kids in activities? Seriously, that could really help an adult out! Is he old enough to mentor in a big brother type program? He sounds like he would be great fun for a little boy who needed some one on one attention.

 

I'm too new to HS'ing to really advise you on academics, particularly since none of mine are in HS. The only things that crossed my mind were -

 

Is everything he's doing a good fit for him? If he isn't clicking with something, could you try sampling a new program?

 

Does he have post HS plans? Is he going into a vocational field or going to college....? If he has plans, is what he's taking important to those plans? If not, can you tweak his lessons to follow his goals?

 

I would think, surely, there are some higher math games? Surely? I don't know what they'd be, I'm not math-y at all.

 

My DD has anxiety about having to do work over. Her response is to cry and say she doesn't want to do it in the first place on the off chance she might get it wrong. It makes me nuts, but I know she feels it's a legitimate concern.