Questions and maybe help

[5 Hikers]

see below

Edited April 9, 2012 by 5 Hikers

[funnygirl]

:grouphug:anyway.

[5 Hikers]

Thanks! Well, here goes:

 

Is a diagnosis necessary? What if you can handle your child perfectly fine and things go well? But...he probably will never be able to handle a public school classroom.

 

 

His symptoms:

never sleeps

symptoms like ADD and/or ADHD

yells out sometimes for no reason

Cannot stand loud noises or crowds

Has lots of sensory issues like: socks, tags, chalk, and food textures (won't eat most meat)

Does not have really friends his age, but does well with older kids and adults

Is very affectionate and gives up things easily (like candy to sibling)

Has Severe Dyslexia

Learns math and science very fast/ 2 years above grade level at this point

Likes to organize things

Very strong core and balance/ climbing since 16 months and was on a competitive gymnastics team at 6 for 1 year

Does not like church/awanas/baseball teams/ co-op or any place where he is in a group without me

Needs a structured routine

 

 

What will a diagnosis do for him/ for me?

[TippyCanoe]

.

[PeterPan]

People have this confusion and think a diagnosis means they did a bad job or that it's an excuse for poor discipline or made up by some industry. Or there's this alternate thing of "I can teach it out, I'm so great at my accommodating that the problem barely exists..." I'm not saying you do this, but I've noticed it as a trend elsewhere. That's cool, you are great and it's working now, in your home. But what about when he's NOT in your home? What about when he tries to go to college and live in a dorm room? What about when he needs to hold a job? What about when his wife wants to know why he's doing certain things and their marriage is on the rocks?

 

The diagnosis has nothing to do with you or how hard you've tried or some plot of the medicine industry to label kids or anything else. The only thing that matters is that at some point, some time between now and adulthood, your dc has issues that are going to need explanations. Back 100-200 years ago those explanations didn't matter; you just got shoved in a home if you were different. Now those explanations get you accommodations and help, sometimes services and therapy. And sometimes we as parents find out a few things we didn't know before about what was going on and are able to change how we interact with our kids for the better. Sometimes we find out about a label or aspect we missed and the potential problems up the road. Then we change the course of that child's ENTIRE FUTURE, all because we knew that label and could take some pro-active steps.

 

Knowledge is power. Not getting the diagnosis gains you nothing. You won't know all the benefit that eval will be for your family till you do it. With the things you've said, I would absolutely get an eval. Not sure of the age, but you have to consider that some things that are under control right now could get very out of control as teenage hormones surge. You really WANT to know what's going on. Not knowing doesn't help anything. That knowledge will give you the power to CHOSE what to do with it.

[Guest]

I recently asked a hospital nurse with an ADHD brother who now works with ADHD, Autistic etc. kids after College, and is on high demand due to the fact that he can really relate to these kids, if she recommends that I test my sons (this is in B.C. Canada). She told me that the only thing I would get out of it is a diagnosis that would possibly confirm what I am seeing. The accommodations are less than ideal here, especially for kids over 6, where they expect the school system to deal with the bulk of their needs and they are severely understaffed (another reason why her brother is on high demand). She also shared that when her brother was diagnosed, the first thing the "system" wanted to do was put him on Ritalin. The mom said no thanks and kept her child at home and homeschooled him. She was a working mom and almost a single parent in certain ways since her husband had been in a car accident where he suffered brain damage. The mom did not have education beyond the high school level. All she had was her determination not to allow anyone to tell her what her boy can or cannot do. I think she is very proud with how her boy turned out :)!

 

Do what you feel is best for your child :). These decisions have many factors for each family to consider. Factors that people on a forum are unaware of. We all want what is best for our children! I think there comes a time when we just need to trust our gut and if the need for an evaluation out-ways not having one, you will know when the time has come.

 

Best of luck to you!

Edited April 11, 2012 by Guest

[PeterPan]

I recently asked a hospital nurse with an ADHD brother who now works with ADHD, Autistic etc. kids after College, and is on high demand due to the fact that he can really relate to these kids, if she recommends that I test my sons (this is in B.C. Canada). She told me that the only thing I would get out of it is a diagnosis that would possibly confirm what I am seeing. The accommodations are less than ideal here, especially for kids over 6, where they expect the school system to deal with the bulk of their needs and they are severely understaffed (another reason why her brother is on high demand). She also shared that when her brother was diagnosed, the first thing the "system" wanted to do was put him on Ritalin. The mom said no thanks and kept her child at home and homeschooled him. She was a working mom and almost a single parent in certain ways since her husband had been in a car accident where he suffered brain damage. The mom did not have education beyond the high school level. All she had was her determination not to allow anyone to tell her what her boy can or cannot do. I think she is very proud with how her boy turned out :)!

 

Do what you feel is best for your child :). These decisions have many factors for each family to consider. Factors that people on a forum are unaware of. We all want what is best for our children! I think there comes a time when we just need to trust our gut and if the need for an evaluation out-ways not having one, you will know when the time has come.

 

Best of luck to you!

 

Canucks, possibly she was speaking to accommodations in the workplace vs. the help it would be to you while teaching him? Those are two totally different things. The breakdowns a thorough psych eval gives for processing speed, working memory, EF, etc. etc. are INVALUABLE to a home educator. So are you saying that same child who gets little benefit from it as an adult in the canadian system also got no testing during his school years? And the teacher had no ability to make use of those test results? Teachers in the States typically take a class in special ed (gifted, SN, etc.), so they're bringing something to the table in recognizing things and knowing what to do with the results. When a homeschooling mom gets the proper psych eval done, she's getting the information she NEEDS to teach effectively. Guessing year after year is SO not fun.

 

That's what I concluded, that it was worth it for *me* to have that information. I deserved to be able to stop worrying about it and to know precisely what was going on and what my options were.

 

So no, she's cornball to say all you get is a label. Maybe from their psych. From our psych we got tons of scores, info on how she processes, and specific help with what to DO with that info. It was immensely valuable as an educator. The label was secondary.

[EKS]

How old is this child?

[IsabelC]

We were initially reluctant to get a diagnosis, but we went ahead and it has given us several things:

 

1. A way to explain his issues to family/others - it reduces the number of people who assume he's naughty/rude/stupid, or that we're not teaching/disciplining him adequately.

 

2. An easier way to reassure him that yes he is a little different from most kids, but no it doesn't mean he can't achieve things and yes he does have some gifts but no not everything will come easily to him, etc.

 

3. A framework within which we can research and evaluate management/intervention options.

 

4. Financial benefits in the form of extra government payments and cheap access to health professionals.

 

5. A label to justify his academic skill levels to our state home education authority.

 

Obviously the list of potential benefits won't be the same for everybody, but once you identify these, you can weight them up against the potential drawbacks resulting from assessment and subsequent labeling.

Only you can make that judgement.

Edited April 11, 2012 by Hotdrink

[Guest]

Canucks, possibly she was speaking to accommodations in the workplace vs. the help it would be to you while teaching him? Those are two totally different things. The breakdowns a thorough psych eval gives for processing speed, working memory, EF, etc. etc. are INVALUABLE to a home educator. So are you saying that same child who gets little benefit from it as an adult in the canadian system also got no testing during his school years? And the teacher had no ability to make use of those test results? Teachers in the States typically take a class in special ed (gifted, SN, etc.), so they're bringing something to the table in recognizing things and knowing what to do with the results. When a homeschooling mom gets the proper psych eval done, she's getting the information she NEEDS to teach effectively. Guessing year after year is SO not fun.

 

That's what I concluded, that it was worth it for *me* to have that information. I deserved to be able to stop worrying about it and to know precisely what was going on and what my options were.

 

So no, she's cornball to say all you get is a label. Maybe from their psych. From our psych we got tons of scores, info on how she processes, and specific help with what to DO with that info. It was immensely valuable as an educator. The label was secondary.

 

Elizabeth, I shared the experience to show that every one of our situations is different and therefore the way we chose to deal with our own family situation will not always be the same. I don't feel that we should be made to feel guilty because some of us cannot afford big fancy evaluations or may have other PERSONAL reasons not to get them. Once again, just like in the other thread, I was trying to share something I came across. I was not trying to imply anything about the validity of evaluations and most certainly was not trying to offend anyone. We each know our own situation and we share based on that.