OCD, anxiety, ADHD, etc. in children: when and how to seek intervention?

[garddwr]

All of these issues and more run our family--and in my generation they were not diagnosed and addressed until late teens or adulthood. My parents were against "labeling" and thought that any difficulty could be overcome by effort--until some of my younger siblings got in so far over their heads that the need for intervention was unquestionable. I struggle daily with ADHD--undiagnosed but very obvious--and often wonder whether medication might be helpful (but I won't go that route as long as I am pregnant or breastfeeding). My husband suffers from anxiety and OCD which fortunately have been largely responsive to medication.

 

As I observe my children, I am already seeing signs of some of these problems, especially anxiety and OCD. I feel like by homeschooling I have significant control over the environment and hence the stress level, which seems to help. But I wonder at what point I should start seeking outside help. I have a number of books on helping children deal with anxiety, and those have been somewhat helpful. I have seen in my husband how much difference appropriate medication can make, and I suspect that will be part of the answer in the future--but I have also seen the side effects and don't want to jump to medicate prematurely or unnecessarily.

 

This has been on my mind partly because of the other OCD thread and also because of a recent phone conversation with my sister in which she strongly expressed her belief that people (like me) who can't focus on something or complete expected tasks can't do it because they just don't care about those particular things. Umm, no, there are plenty of things I care about and have wanted to focus on or accomplish and simply cannot. But I understand where she is coming from--it is sooo hard to understand what is going on inside someone else's head when you've never experienced yourself what they experience. I face this problem regularly with dd8 when she is panicking about something that is absolutely not panic worthy--I have to constantly remind myself that the experience is entirely real to her whether it is rational or not! A SIL who is a cancer survivor was recently saying that ever since chemotherapy her brain doesn't work as well as it used to--she has started forgetting things, losing her keys, feeling foggy-minded, can't multi-task--all for the first time in her life. As she described all this I thought "welcome to my world!" That's how things have been for me my entire life.

 

For those whose children have received or are receiving treatment for issues like these, whether therapy or medication, at what point do you think seeking outside help is necessary or most helpful? What other resources (books etc.) have you found useful?

 

--Sarah

[mo2]

I asked a similar question awhile back.

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=337803&highlight=OCD

[SailorMom]

I have anxiety issues and OCD. I went to therapy, and am on Wellbutrin.

I would say that any med is not the fix all/ end all for the issues. So - be sure coping skills and therapy are involved, as well as medication if need be.

 

I would avoid medication as long as possible for kids, but obviously at some point it may be needed. I would say if the OCD/Anxiety is affecting everyday life, then at least it is time for therapy, then go from there.....

[expandingwisdom]

Hey, I my heart goes out to you. We have been dealing with some of these issues at our home as well. We decided to get outside help when my frustration with it got so that I was having trouble seeing clear enough to deal with things productively. I felt like I had gotten to a point where I could not figure out what my son needed. I was feeling lost and like nothing I did was helping him learn self control and discipline of mind and body. We decided to have him assessed which I have mixed feelings about now. There were positive outcomes and negative outcomes. The positive was that my husband was less frustrated with him, because he had a way to think about him that made him understand why he does the things he does. The negative was the same thing. It has put him in a bit of a box in our minds and I have to fight that everyday. I am trying to get out of that frame of mind but it is hard. We did put him on meds for a bit but it was not a great experience and I regret doing it. He was more calm which was great, but he changed. He wasn't as happy. He seemed angry at himself and at life. He also did not sleep well or eat well. We did this for about 6 months. We took him off the meds 3 months ago and have focused our efforts on nutritional and non pharmacological methods of helping him learn self control, and mental discipline. We subscribe to the ADHD diet, which can be google'd, and we give him multi-vitamin and fish oil supplements. We also have an appointment to a integrative medicine doctor in the area who a ton of my friends have been taking their children to. She does a precise blood work up and assesses the nutrient deficiencies in you child and treats those deficiencies. She also talk to you about diet and what food your child should and should not be eating.

Beyond that we have discovered the further beauty of the classical curriculum in being the best method for us in light of many things but also in light of our attention and discipline issues. We have been listening to Andrew Kern, the president of the Circe Institute talk about the mimetic sequence. Which is a sequence of teaching that trains the faculties of the mind. The first one being attentive perception. This has been extraordinary.

Lastly I have been asking my self questions about my expectations. Is the calmness I am expecting reasonable. What should be my expectations for a 9 year old boy a 7 year old girl and a 3 year old girl? I have been studying gender differences (Andrew Pudewa does a talk on this called teaching boys and other children who would rather make forts all day) (book by Sax, why gender matters) and reading about the nature of children. In an effort to expand my own tolerance and understanding. All of these things so far are serving us well.

Thank you for your post and I hope this helps.

[garddwr]

We did put him on meds for a bit but it was not a great experience and I regret doing it. He was more calm which was great, but he changed. He wasn't as happy. He seemed angry at himself and at life. He also did not sleep well or eat well. We did this for about 6 months.

 

It's interesting that you say your son wasn't as happy when he was on meds. As I said, I have been very much ADD/ADHD my whole life; I am also a very happy person 99% of the time. I've felt for a long time that the two were somehow connected--that somehow the same characteristics that make it hard for me to focus also make it so that I don't get easily stressed or worried. Food for thought...I think our strong and weak points are often related to each other in some way.