TranquilMind Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 AprilMay: Some people don't have R rated movies in their home. We don't. We don't rent them, borrow from the library, or go see them at the theater. Really? You have never seen "Sophie's Choice"? "Schindler's List"? "Forrest Gump"? "Band of Brothers" (the most awesome WWII series ever, done by Spielberg)? I would not have wanted to miss these. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Really? You have never seen "Sophie's Choice"? "Schindler's List"? "Forrest Gump"? "Band of Brothers" (the most awesome WWII series ever, done by Spielberg)? I would not have wanted to miss these. We don't happen to own any R rated movies, either. That's not to say that we never watch them, but it is in fact, rare. BTW, Forrest Gump is PG-13. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 :iagree: Where WAS the other mom during movie time?? When I have teen boys visit my 16 y.o. ds for a sleepover, you can bet the only tv is in the living room where I am sitting and watching with them. (I also make sure the modem is "off" when I go to bed and take the laptop & smartphone with me into my bedroom. ;)) Kids can be kids -- but they also can do dumb things. It sounds like the OP's child was trying to look cool in front of his friends. I am more concerned as to HOW the boy got a hold of the "R" rated movie in the first place?? :confused: Really? I am always available and ready to jump in if I hear there is a problem, but I can't imagine sitting in on a movie with a bunch of 16 yo boys for a sleepover party. I'm not trying to sound snarky here. I'm just genuinely surprised. My son is 12 and would be absolutely mortified. I sure hope people aren't expecting that level of supervision of their children when they come to my house. Lisa ETA: I do think Mrs. Mungo's idea of turning off the modem isn't a bad one, though we have K-9 software on ours, so I wouldn't feel I needed to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 (edited) We don't happen to own any R rated movies, either. That's not to say that we never watch them, but it is in fact, rare. BTW, Forrest Gump is PG-13. :iagree: We do not own any DVD or VHS movies. We tend to be frugal and do not see the sense in buying a movie to own. Especially as the technology changes and your movie collection sits on a shelf -- or you go out and buy MORE new titles for the latest gadget to play them (i.e. Blue Ray DVD). But to each his own. We have one TV and do not watch R rated movies as a family. If a movie comes on the regular TV channel that hubby or I want to watch -- it is recorded on the DVR with a password (ds does not know it) to view later when son is away or asleep. We lock channels out. Like other posters have said, it is rare for us to watch a title above a PG-13 in our home. I know of many hsers who do not own a TV and do not watch movies, period. Others do not own a TV and only watch DVDs as a family. We choose to control the TV/parental ratings/turn modem OFF at night as a family. My original question pertained to the ease of accessing the "R" movie -- which seems too tempting? Much like leaving a liquor cabinet unlocked with teens alone on a weekend. IMO, kids do dumb things and we as adults should not make it easy for the temptation to take place. Obviously the parent who called the OP was upset and it caused a problem with the sleepover. And it sounds like the OP is reassessing the DVD situation as she sees fit, which is good. Sometimes you have to keep 2 steps ahead of a child/teen who is known to push the boundaries a bit... every child is different and you use different methods of boundaries. I think the OP is asking for opinions and she got my opinion. :D My apologies if it pushed buttons for those who see it a bit differently. Really? I am always available and ready to jump in if I hear there is a problem, but I can't imagine sitting in on a movie with a bunch of 16 yo boys for a sleepover party. I'm not trying to sound snarky here. I'm just genuinely surprised. My son is 12 and would be absolutely mortified. I sure hope people aren't expecting that level of supervision of their children when they come to my house. Lisa Well... truthfully? You do come across as being snarky. ;) You immediately jump to the conclusion that your situation is the same as my situation with a teen sleepover. I have a 16 y.o. son with Asperger's Syndrome who looks intimidating at 5'9" and big like a defensive lineman -- but in reality has the emotional maturity of an 11 year old. That is Asperger's Syndrome. He is emotionally immature and needs social skills. And he has quirks as an Aspie -- certain things scare him. Even as a teenager. Thus another reason we do not see "R" rating movies as a family. Our family rule is no TV or computers in bedrooms, but in the main living room. Our challenge is having friends over with sleepovers and get-to-gethers. Ironically, the friends my ds has are also special needs kids who come from a conservative (i.e. fundamental) home. The last sleepover had both teens watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Which was a BIG deal for both teens to watch. It was their night. We popped popcorn and sat down for the movie as a family. (We already saw it before -- but the teens did not.) And we made sure to call the parents to ask permission -- sure enough, the father told us, "No R rated movies. PG-13 is okay." I know if my son was at their home, those parents would call us and ask the same question. They chose the dinner (pizza and soda -- another "big" deal as my son is on a restricted diet with his liver disease), they controlled the only TV in the house, and played video games. Since we live in a small apartment, my husband and I are in the same room -- the tiny kitchen opens up to the TV/living room. Cramped living. But since we all enjoy each other's company (we often invite this friend along on family vacations and trips), no one complains. :) I go in and out of the room to do laundry, clean, work on bills or lesson plans, read a book (with earplugs) on the recliner, or surf on my laptop while the teens control the TV. Son and I are late night owls (he has to take a before bedtime medicine & meal late at night) with both my husband asleep in our bedroom and the teen friend asleep in son's bedroom. I'm always the last to go to bed -- which is why I take the laptop and smartphone with me to my bedroom. The boys may be Aspie, but they are still curious. No need to offer a source for mischief or temptation. (And I turn off the router too -- one of the moms on the High School Board suggested this a long time ago.) Plus, both kids are still Aspie/immature and have yet to be "teenagers" with normal pulling away from parents or teen angst/moodiness at this point. We have an only son. His friend comes from a family of 7 kids and loves to spend time with us as a family. In a few weeks, we're going on a 2 night camping trip with the same teen and our ds as we know he will love fishing and hiking with us. Since our son struggles with social skills, we plan events that help him navigate the waters with friends. Aiiiyyeee. I have written a novel! :eek: (Sorry for hijacking the thread...) Edited March 27, 2012 by tex-mex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 I think I saw that movie the first time when I was maybe eight years old. :tongue_smilie: We're pretty strict about what dd watches here, but for an eleven-year-old, I'd let him know it wasn't okay and move on. I agree with the pps- it sounds like exactly the sort of thing any normal eleven-year-old boy would do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 (edited) :iagree:We do not own any DVD or VHS movies. We tend to be frugal and do not see the sense in buying a movie to own. Especially as the technology changes and your movie collection sits on a shelf -- or you go out and buy MORE new titles for the latest gadget to play them (i.e. Blue Ray DVD). But to each his own. We have one TV and do not watch R rated movies as a family. If a movie comes on the regular TV channel that hubby or I want to watch -- it is recorded on the DVR with a password (ds does not know it) to view later when son is away or asleep. We lock channels out. Like other posters have said, it is rare for us to watch a title above a PG-13 in our home. I know of many hsers who do not own a TV and do not watch movies, period. Others do not own a TV and only watch DVDs as a family. We choose to control the TV/parental ratings/turn modem OFF at night as a family. My original question pertained to the ease of accessing the "R" movie -- which seems too tempting? Much like leaving a liquor cabinet unlocked with teens alone on a weekend. IMO, kids do dumb things and we as adults should not make it easy for the temptation to take place. Obviously the parent who called the OP was upset and it caused a problem with the sleepover. And it sounds like the OP is reassessing the DVD situation as she sees fit, which is good. Sometimes you have to keep 2 steps ahead of a child/teen who is known to push the boundaries a bit... every child is different and you use different methods of boundaries. I think the OP is asking for opinions and she got my opinion. :D My apologies if it pushed buttons for those who see it a bit differently. Well... truthfully? You do come across as being snarky. ;) You immediately jump to the conclusion that your situation is the same as my situation with a teen sleepover. I have a 16 y.o. son with Asperger's Syndrome who looks intimidating at 5'9" and big like a defensive lineman -- but in reality has the emotional maturity of an 11 year old. That is Asperger's Syndrome. He is emotionally immature and needs social skills. And he has quirks as an Aspie -- certain things scare him. Even as a teenager. Thus another reason we do not see "R" rating movies as a family. Our family rule is no TV or computers in bedrooms, but in the main living room. Our challenge is having friends over with sleepovers and get-to-gethers. Ironically, the friends my ds has are also special needs kids who come from a conservative (i.e. fundamental) home. The last sleepover had both teens watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Which was a BIG deal for both teens to watch. It was their night. We popped popcorn and sat down for the movie as a family. (We already saw it before -- but the teens did not.) And we made sure to call the parents to ask permission -- sure enough, the father told us, "No R rated movies. PG-13 is okay." I know if my son was at their home, those parents would call us and ask the same question. They chose the dinner (pizza and soda -- another "big" deal as my son is on a restricted diet with his liver disease), they controlled the only TV in the house, and played video games. Since we live in a small apartment, my husband and I are in the same room -- the tiny kitchen opens up to the TV/living room. Cramped living. But since we all enjoy each other's company (we often invite this friend along on family vacations and trips), no one complains. :) I go in and out of the room to do laundry, clean, work on bills or lesson plans, read a book (with earplugs) on the recliner, or surf on my laptop while the teens control the TV. Son and I are late night owls (he has to take a before bedtime medicine & meal late at night) with both my husband asleep in our bedroom and the teen friend asleep in son's bedroom. I'm always the last to go to bed -- which is why I take the laptop and smartphone with me to my bedroom. The boys may be Aspie, but they are still curious. No need to offer a source for mischief or temptation. (And I turn off the router too -- one of the moms on the High School Board suggested this a long time ago.) Plus, both kids are still Aspie/immature and have yet to be "teenagers" with normal pulling away from parents or teen angst/moodiness at this point. We have an only son. His friend comes from a family of 7 kids and loves to spend time with us as a family. In a few weeks, we're going on a 2 night camping trip with the same teen and our ds as we know he will love fishing and hiking with us. Since our son struggles with social skills, we plan events that help him navigate the waters with friends. Aiiiyyeee. I have written a novel! :eek: (Sorry for hijacking the thread...) Well, I am truly sorry if I upset you. I honestly was surprised that you felt the mom should have been in the room with the kids and it made me wonder if I was way off base in my own expectations. I had no idea that you have a special needs child and I didn't think the OP did, so your question about "where was the mom" kind of threw me. Then the OP responded that the mom had watched movies with the kids until 11:30 before going to bed. So again, that's just very different than what I would do. Anyway, good for you for taking on so much to help your child have the opportunity to participate in the things he wants to experience. Lisa Edited March 28, 2012 by LisaTheresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 (edited) Well, I am truly sorry if I upset you. I honestly was surprised that you felt the mom should have been in the room with the kids and it made me wonder if I was way off base in my own expectations. I had no idea that you have a special needs child and I didn't think the OP did, so your question about "where was the mom" kind of threw me. Then the OP responded that the mom had watched movies with the kids until 11:30 before going to bed. So again, that's just very different than what I would do. Anyway, good for you for taking on so much to help your child have the opportunity to participate in the things he wants to experience. Lisa No worries. My apologies for being on my soapbox too. (LOL) :grouphug: Not upset by any means. Just suffering from diarrhea of the mouth. ;) Unfortunately, I can write a lengthy reply to any topic anytime. LOL Edited March 29, 2012 by tex-mex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Sneaking is a problem but this isn't the end of the world says the mom of older teens. The other mom should have checked what they were watching as well. Discipline according to what matters most to you but not because you're embarrassed. He was trying to act cool, it didn't work. It was good for all the kids to decide how much peer pressure they were willing to stand. Not that we want our kid to be the one to dish it out. I'm sorry. We always check what the kids watch, we would never allow a visitor to just pop in a DVD without us vetting it. (we actually put the DVD in too, not just look at the case) So you can be embarrassed, but so can the mom supervising the sleepover, IMO. Also that's a yecchy scene, but they'll live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 We don't happen to own any R rated movies, either. That's not to say that we never watch them, but it is in fact, rare. BTW, Forrest Gump is PG-13. You are correct. I was thinking Forrest Gump was R rated because of the multiple times the F word is used in the anti-war protest in Washington. Still...there are a few movies I would not have wanted to miss that happen to be rated R. There are also PG movies I would not watch in a million years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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