Playdate and food, *sigh*

[NotSoObvious]

My DD (executive functioning issues, developmental delays, ADHD, dyspraxia) has always had a problem overeating. She never feels "full" and has food issues that stem from early life (we adopted her when she was 5).

She's 9 now. We've worked really hard on appropriate food behavior while at playdates, but I can never seem to get it right.

Once, they (she's a twin) were going to playdate right after lunch for only two hours, so I told them they didn't need to ask for a snack, that I would pick them up before snack time. Well, the hostess offered them a snack and my dd told her, "We aren't allowed to eat here." :(

So today, before a 1 hour playdate immediately after lunch, I told her it was going to be a very short playdate and she didn't need a snack, but if the mom offered, they could say yes and be polite. Well, apparently the mom offered, but none of the other kids wanted a snack, so she asked my dd what she wanted. My dd told her a sandwich! She had JUST eaten lunch. So, she had a sandwich and two glasses of milk.

 

Sigh. I want her to learn to be polite, control her eating habits, etc., but I don't want to give her a complex! Do I just let it go? I've hosted NT kids who are weird or rude about food, so maybe I just let it be and expect her to gorge (not that that's what she did today) at playdates.

 

Should I just be grateful that she'll eat just about anything, and stick to working on good habits (portions) at home?

 

How do you manage issues like this when they go to a friend's house???

[Slipper]

Can you talk to the other mom before your dd goes over to visit? That would give the mom a heads up to either NOT offer a snack or give a pre-determined amount of food as a snack.

[Grover]

Can you talk to the other mom before your dd goes over to visit? That would give the mom a heads up to either NOT offer a snack or give a pre-determined amount of food as a snack.

 

I think I'd go this way - or even just remind your DD in front of the other mother "remember, you've just had lunch, so your tummy is full, I'll pick you up in time for snack so you can just play all the time you're here." (Maybe tip the other mum a wink and comment about gannets / bottomless pits at the same time.

[NotSoObvious]

Can you talk to the other mom before your dd goes over to visit? That would give the mom a heads up to either NOT offer a snack or give a pre-determined amount of food as a snack.

 

Wonderful advice, both of you! This is of course what I should do. Why is it SO hard to see the light sometimes?!

 

Thanks!

[jujsky]

Can you talk to the other mom before your dd goes over to visit? That would give the mom a heads up to either NOT offer a snack or give a pre-determined amount of food as a snack.

 

:iagree: I think this would be the best approach. I'm sure most moms would be happy to work with you on this.

[crazyfordlr]

Wonderful advice, both of you! This is of course what I should do. Why is it SO hard to see the light sometimes?!

 

Thanks!

We're moms, we're not perfect (says the woman who organizes for a living but whose house looks like something from Clean House haha.) Sometimes the obvious is what's needed, but can't be seen kwim. How many times have you run around the house looking for your keys and they're in your hand?

 

Be kind to yourself :)

 

PS I was on copious amounts of prednisone as child. I was hungry all.the.time! My mom just made a point to tell people that she needed to be the only one to feed me. Most everyone understood.