Joy at Home Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 First, let me say that I su** at teaching writing. I am feeling my way along and surrounding myself with great resources, and fully intend to guide my children into becoming good writers. Why then, can I not help her get started with this simple essay? The assignment: Do you agree with Uncle Henrik's definition of bravery in Number the Stars? Give examples. (Uncle Henrik states that bravery is doing what you must even when you are scared). This is for a ninth grader who is behind in writing. We are just starting Lost Tools of Writing separately, but are not far enough along for that to be useful here. (This is for her Challenge class). So I'm just having trouble figuring out which way to attack this thing. In LTOW, they have you state your thesis and start listing affirmative, negative, and interesting statements, then develop them further by going through the five topics (which we have not gotten to yet). So, would her thesis perhaps be "Bravery is defined by . . . ."? (I have to admit, that I'm still feeling my way around the differences between essays and other expository writing, and have not done much with developing a thesis). Would possible points supporting this thesis be examples from the book, real life, etc? I am so lost as to how to guide her to get started on this. Can anyone throw me a bone:confused: thanks, lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 The assignment: Do you agree with Uncle Henrik's definition of bravery in Number the Stars? Give examples. (Uncle Henrik states that bravery is doing what you must even when you are scared). What kind of essay are you trying to do? You can just start writing and do a couple of paragraphs. But if you're trying to do a formal essay with thesis, introduction, body, and conclusion, here are some points I've done with my ds15. First, I would start by making the first sentence of the introduction explain what bravery is, then your last sentence in the paragraph will be a thesis on the specific question you're answering. Bravery can be described as having the courage to face your fears even when you're scared. It's making decisions to do the right thing when you would rather .... (or something like that) Then for the thesis, I would say something specific like, I believe [insert name here] displayed a brave character as she/he faced the horrible circumstances of World War II or Jewish roundup, or something like that. Some people will write the specific points in the thesis, like, I believe [name] displayed a brave character when [one thing like when the police came to the house] and [name 2nd thing]. Then each body paragraph would discuss that one point. I'm not a writing expert either! My ds15 and I have muddled through his writing assignments but his teachers seem to like them. I have never read the book so I can't give details. Just remember to tell her that when writing an essay, she should choose the things from the story that she finds interesting. Someone else may choose different parts of the story to show bravery. There is no way you can write about everything. That is something my son is finally picking up on that. Sometimes it's good to open an essay with some awesome tidbit of information, a fact, a statistic, etc. Maybe something like, 'Her heart nearly jumped out of her body as the police walked by.' But then you'll have to transition into the definition of bravery, and then to the thesis. Also, the very last sentence of the essay can be a personal statement. Something like, 'I am really impressed with [name]'s bravery in this story and would recommend this story to everyone.' This may be disjointed. Sorry! I hope some of this helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joy at Home Posted March 3, 2012 Author Share Posted March 3, 2012 What kind of essay are you trying to do? You can just start writing and do a couple of paragraphs. But if you're trying to do a formal essay with thesis, introduction, body, and conclusion, here are some points I've done with my ds15. First, I would start by making the first sentence of the introduction explain what bravery is, then your last sentence in the paragraph will be a thesis on the specific question you're answering. Bravery can be described as having the courage to face your fears even when you're scared. It's making decisions to do the right thing when you would rather .... (or something like that) Then for the thesis, I would say something specific like, I believe [insert name here] displayed a brave character as she/he faced the horrible circumstances of World War II or Jewish roundup, or something like that. Some people will write the specific points in the thesis, like, I believe [name] displayed a brave character when [one thing like when the police came to the house] and [name 2nd thing]. Then each body paragraph would discuss that one point. I'm not a writing expert either! My ds15 and I have muddled through his writing assignments but his teachers seem to like them. I have never read the book so I can't give details. Just remember to tell her that when writing an essay, she should choose the things from the story that she finds interesting. Someone else may choose different parts of the story to show bravery. There is no way you can write about everything. That is something my son is finally picking up on that. Sometimes it's good to open an essay with some awesome tidbit of information, a fact, a statistic, etc. Maybe something like, 'Her heart nearly jumped out of her body as the police walked by.' But then you'll have to transition into the definition of bravery, and then to the thesis. Also, the very last sentence of the essay can be a personal statement. Something like, 'I am really impressed with [name]'s bravery in this story and would recommend this story to everyone.' This may be disjointed. Sorry! I hope some of this helps. Thank you so much for taking a stab at this:001_smile: That was really helpful. I think the question is meant to produce a five paragraph essay, so trying to help her come up with her thesis and three points supporting that didn't seem too difficult until I started to actually try and help her and came up empty;) I don't know if I'm overthinking in where I suggest she take this. Should she focus on the story and examples therein, or in a broader sense discuss the definition of "bravery" and give real life examples. I so need a writing coach. Your suggestions gave me a starting point, so thank you! Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonne Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) Hi Lisa, I feel your pain about teaching writing. I just attended a fantastic workshop on LToW last weekend that has given me hope that I might be able to do this. If nothing else, the process will foster thinking and discussion which is what I most wanted from home schooling. I haven't actually had a chance to try this yet, so I hesitate to even make a stab at it, but maybe there'll be something you can use... Do you have the LToW teacher guide? I wonder if you could at least get started using the first steps from LToW? Starting is always the hardest. Don't worry about actually writing the essay ("elocution") yet. (That's where I always get panicked and stall out, too.) Start with the very beginning steps ("invention," or what to say) & don't worry about the finished product, yet. The issue is whether "bravery is doing something you must even when you're scared?" Fill that in the top line of the ANI chart to keep you focused. Now, on to helping her come up with information about the thesis by asking questions. (p. 13-14 of the TGuide) I would ask "Are there any characters in the book who demonstrate bravery?" (Actually, first I would look up the dictionary definition of "bravery" and thesaurus synonyms for "bravery" to help get my brain in gear, but I'm sure LToW doesn't do that. :) ) Who demonstrates bravery? In what circumstance does s/he exhibit bravery? Why would his/her actions be considered "brave" in this situation? Would those action be considered brave in all such situations? At all times? What was going on before s/he acted bravely? What happened after? What were the consequences of his/her action? Is there anyone who does not demonstrate bravery? etc. What if the people who acted bravely had not done what they did? What if the people who did not act bravely had acted bravely? How are the characters who acted bravely similar? Different? How are the characters who did not act bravely similar? Different? Would questions along those lines help start at all? Then, after you've gathered a bunch of information by asking questions, discussing back and forth, and writing it down (no matter how insignificant the bits of information seem!), I would stop for the day. You or she might think of more info. later in the day or after dinner. Add it to the list as you think of it. Next day/whatever, start on the ANI chart. Look at each piece of information. Does it support the idea that "bravery is doing something you must even if you're scared"? If so, put it in the A column. If not, in the N column. If it doesn't belong in either affirmative or negative, put it in the Interesting column. Then sort through all the bits of information in the A column. Which ones are connected in some way. Hopefully, you'll see some groupings emerge. That's the hardest part of the whole essay. Once you have your groupings/arguments, just follow the directions for a rudimentary persuasive essay. I'll stop here, but after this point, I think the essay will fall into place, esp. if you continue with the steps given in LToW. Even if you ONLY get to this point, well, that is HUGE, isn't it? I know it would be for my children and I! I would try to avoid getting buried in the detail in the TGuide, though, or I know I would give up. Better to get through the first steps well, than all the steps (a year long course!) poorly and give up on the whole thing. Hope something here helps or gives you other ideas. Good luck! yvonne Edited March 3, 2012 by yvonne another question Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joy at Home Posted March 3, 2012 Author Share Posted March 3, 2012 Oh, Yvonne, this was so helpful! I am so excited for you in being able to attend the workshop. I, too, feel hope that I can actually tackle mentoring dd with upper level writing in listening to the LTOW cds. I've only gotten through the first lesson with dd, but I thought of doing exactly what you suggested and start an ANI chart with her. Because I haven't really been through the five topics yet, though, I wasn't sure how to use them to dig for more information, so your examples really help here. This is where I really have faith that LTOW will help. I have lots of resources that teach form, but LTOW helps develop ideas and discussion, asking lots of questions and analyzing. Thanks again and good luck! Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I don't know if I'm overthinking in where I suggest she take this. Should she focus on the story and examples therein, or in a broader sense discuss the definition of "bravery" and give real life examples. Yeah, I see your point. I interpreted it to mean using the story to show examples of bravery. But the question is kind of vague. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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