What would explain this behavior change?

[Embassy]

My 3.75 year old's behavior has changed in the past 6 months. 6 months ago she was content to play all day and she was able to entertain herself for hours. Her play was highly imaginative. Now she craves constant interaction and her play skills are not as varied although they are still complex. I tried having her brothers and I take turns playing with her, but that didn't seem to satisfy her. IOW, she still craved interaction and became very bossy with her play with her siblings and when she played with me she didn't respond well to play sequences varying from what she had planned in her head.

 

I started schooling her a month ago thinking that structure and more mental stimulation would help. It has - greatly. I have 15 minutes with her four different times in our school day and the rest of the time she will typically go off on her own and play or entertain herself. I have a schedule printed up for her to see what comes next and that has been very helpful.

 

Her personality is independent (ironically), creative, highly imaginative, perfectionistic, and tender-hearted. Academically she is ahead of the game and creatively she blows me away.

 

School days are good now, but non-school days can be quite challenging if there is not something already planned or something that she can do with someone for a long period of time.

 

My oldest child was somewhat like that, but he was always like that. He was like that as an infant. My daughter seems to have saved up all that intensity so it would hit at once.

 

My question relates to why you think this change happened? And do you have any advice on what to do about non-school days? Any BTDT or anyone want to offer their 2 cents?:bigear:

[Temperance]

:bigear: We're having a very similar situation with our daughter, who is also three. She used to entertain herself for hours at a time as a toddler. Now we get endless streams of questions. Even when she's alone, she will talk or sing to herself. She's not reading much yet, but I think is needing more input, so she has to get it from us. She used to enjoy TV watching, but has learned most of the educational content and seems bored with it. I'm thinking I need to check out some elementary school level educational DVDs from the library, and see if that will help her accomplish more of her learning independently. Also, we need to start working on phonics again to get her reading (it didn't go so well last time I tried, but that was several months ago.)

 

Starting her in violin lessons has had an almost magical effect on her. We couldn't even get her to sleep in her own bed. Then we started learning violin together and she would stay in her bed, play alone again, etc. We just had two really tough days with her not sleeping and being demanding. Then I realized we hadn't been doing violin. We practiced today, and she worked on a puzzle for several hours by herself and stayed in her bed at bedtime. I'm not sure if music lessons would have the same affect on all kids, if it's special to her, if she just needs that close time with me, or if she needs that structure (we usually practice violin every day.)

 

Another thought I've had is that although she has seemed more like an introvert to me, maybe she is just trying out extraversion to see if she likes it.

 

I hope my midnight ramblings make sense. :001_smile:

[serendipitous journey]

My oldest was also intense since infancy. The littler guy is just 20 mos so who knows? so far, much more easy-going but getting more and more intense all the time ...

 

For a long time we did school 6 days a week, M-F and Sunday. We do not attend church. DH takes the children on Saturday, and he doesn't like being home with them all day so they usually go out for bagels in the AM, then by a park or to Home Depot ;); and lately they go for a little hike & lunch picnic with him and his mother before home and quiet time/nap. So the Saturday is somewhat structured, too; and one day off a week seemed okay for Button. So you could try extending her activities to Sat/Sun?

 

Then Button learned about "weekend" and became disgruntled. So our Sunday work is his favorite stuff, and things I want more time for: science always a hit, MEP math, art, reading out loud, we may add history.

 

For a short-cut way to perk her up, could you try something like: 1 story; 1 drawing, painting, or play-doh object related to the story; a physical game like hopscotch or a couch-cushion obstacle course; and maybe a project from an Alex art kit or a video that's educational/informational? I know it can be exhausting to try and keep them on their schedule across the weekends.

 

ETA: just saw the PP -- music lessons seem like a grand idea! (Button wouldn't do anything an instructor requested. It was hopeless; we'll try again next year)

[Embassy]

Thanks for the advice. Temperance, it does sound like something similar. Music lessons aren't possible, but I do have a keyboard with the keys labelled with the notes to go along with a learning to play book that I can use with her. She might really like that.

 

Maybe I should consider more structure for the weekend. She does go to a weekly class at church and loves it. One time about a month ago she came back all sad from her class and said "we didn't do anything." Apparently, they watched a video and had a snack that day and didn't do anything else. I'll admit that I am hesitant to do anything formal on the weekends, but I may try it on a day where we have nothing going on to see if it makes a difference.

[jillian]

when dd went through that stage at about the same age (she's 4 now) I grabbed some things like the ThinkFun games and such that she could puzzle through on her own for those days when we don't do school

[Embassy]

when dd went through that stage at about the same age (she's 4 now) I grabbed some things like the ThinkFun games and such that she could puzzle through on her own for those days when we don't do school

 

Thanks:) I'll see if she likes them. She plays educational computer games quite a bit - even on the weekend. It is one of the few things that she does independently. Right now she is off drawing and manipulating her drawings on Scratch.

 

You mentioned that your dd "went" through that stage. So that must mean this ends? I wasn't expecting it to end. It hasn't with my oldest - it has just morphed a little as he grew. He starts getting restless and unsatisfied with life when formal school breaks are too long - even when we are unschooling. Hmm..if this is just a stage then I'm very interested in when your daughter left the stage and how she is different now.

[Temperance]

ETA: just saw the PP -- music lessons seem like a grand idea! (Button wouldn't do anything an instructor requested. It was hopeless; we'll try again next year)

 

We've really struggled with this issue also. The first month was pretty frustrating. Then I started setting a timer for her practices, and she seemed to like that. She really took off when we started playing with a CD. Before that, I was lucky to get her to play a dozen notes a day. Now she plays for the whole fifteen minute session. She is still pretty selective about listening to the instructor. The instructor just makes sure I get all the concepts and we work on it at home. It's very time intensive for me at this point, but I've always wanted to play violin so I enjoy it.

[jillian]

Thanks:) I'll see if she likes them. She plays educational computer games quite a bit - even on the weekend. It is one of the few things that she does independently. Right now she is off drawing and manipulating her drawings on Scratch.

 

You mentioned that your dd "went" through that stage. So that must mean this ends? I wasn't expecting it to end. It hasn't with my oldest - it has just morphed a little as he grew. He starts getting restless and unsatisfied with life when formal school breaks are too long - even when we are unschooling. Hmm..if this is just a stage then I'm very interested in when your daughter left the stage and how she is different now.

She has gotten a lot better. She no longer insists on every moment of my time being devoted to her. She loves educational shows too so I will find something like Planet Earth and put it on and she will learn all kinds of things and extrapolate it's awesome to see. She is 4 now but we still have good days and bad days.

[serendipitous journey]

We've really struggled with this issue also. The first month was pretty frustrating. Then I started setting a timer for her practices, and she seemed to like that. She really took off when we started playing with a CD. Before that, I was lucky to get her to play a dozen notes a day. Now she plays for the whole fifteen minute session. She is still pretty selective about listening to the instructor. The instructor just makes sure I get all the concepts and we work on it at home. It's very time intensive for me at this point, but I've always wanted to play violin so I enjoy it.

 

Thanks for this advice -- accompanying a CD for practice is a terrific idea!

 

It wouldn't have worked for button at 5 yo (he literally would not do anything the instructor asked, with the exception of playing some little thing he had mastered). His teacher was so sweet and patient, but also getting very frustrated, and the reason for the lessons was that Button wanted them, so we stopped.

 

-- what age did you start lessons?

[Temperance]

Thanks for this advice -- accompanying a CD for practice is a terrific idea!

 

It wouldn't have worked for button at 5 yo (he literally would not do anything the instructor asked, with the exception of playing some little thing he had mastered). His teacher was so sweet and patient, but also getting very frustrated, and the reason for the lessons was that Button wanted them, so we stopped.

 

-- what age did you start lessons?

 

 

We did Music Together from about 18 months to about 3 years. She spent about 80% of the time running around the perimeter of the room. :tongue_smilie: It didn't bother the teacher, who said my daughter was learning in her own way. We began violin about 2 months ago, at age 3 and 2/3. I had about had it a month in, but her teacher encouraged me to keep with it (she has taught Kindermusik, at times.) She told me that really, I am the teacher and she is the coach. Most of the learning occurs at home, and I always play violin with my daughter. With a young child, it is all about teaching by modeling, until about age eight, which is the traditional age to begin most musical instruction.