Tactful way of getting out of an annual function?

[kalanamak]

If you do something every year with a friend or relative (not someone you are really close to, but not distant) and for whatever reason you've "had it" with this function, what would you say

1) upon invite

2) during the mild upbraiding for not "being available"

3) to the rather huffy comment after it becomes clear this is not a fluke (likely to be repeated).

4) to the other attendees who will try to extract gossip about why you aren't there (i.e. what is your problem?)

 

My initial thought it to say as *little as possible*. I don't think frankness is wise (part of my beef about these events).

 

What about annual events you have hosted for years but now intend to nix? (I'm such a coward, I bought tickets to be out of town this year!)

 

Reminds me of "if we could talk about the problem we are having, we wouldn't have the problem".

[lynn]

Take the most direct approach and let it be.

[2cents]

Say as little as possible in a way that communicates your intentions clearly. Then do not allow yourself to be quizzed and do not engage in or feel the need to explain any resultant gossip.