Help me think through this spanking incident, please.

[wheezie]

I haven't read past the first page of replies, but I just wanted to say I feel absolutely nauseated reading that. Kudos to you for saying something-I would have done the same thing (and have in the past). Although, it really didn't help the situation I'm sure. *tears*

 

Sadly I know how the little girl feels.

 

There IS a difference between a spanking and abuse (which IS what you described). I'm so disgusted that the "church" condones doing such awful things to our little ones.

[Remudamom]

I'm joining in really late here, but one of your comments struck me. You said you couldn't imagine a premeditated whipping. I'd rather use the work spanking, but for me, premeditated is the only way to spank.

To me, that means you've thought it through, and still think it's called for. Un-premeditated (no comments on this word, TYVM) sounds like uncontrolled anger.

 

We happen to like Douglas Wilson (again, no comments please) and I've heard him say that if you feel like spanking your child, you shouldn't, and when you don't feel like it (and they need one) is when you should.

[bkpan]

Just wondering about whatever happened with the father at your church who was "spanking" his dd? Did you get a chance to resolve the issue with him?

 

I don't get on the boards very often now, so I'm sorry if you've already updated on this!

 

Kim

[Colleen]

Just wondering about whatever happened with the father at your church who was "spanking" his dd? Did you get a chance to resolve the issue with him? I don't get on the boards very often now, so I'm sorry if you've already updated on this!

 

Thanks for thinking of me and this situation. I've not updated because I keep hoping to have some actual information to impart. Unfortunately, this is still "hanging out there", unresolved. After I posted, I went out of town for a few days. Since then, I haven't found a good opportunity to talk with him. I've seen him at church, of course, and we've also been around one another at a birthday party and graduation party. So I've seen him ~ and he isn't acting any differently around me...I'm wondering if he's just moved on.

 

I don't know...I know my husband thinks I should just let it go. I told him I feel compelled, at a minimum, to go to our church council of elders and, without mentioning names, encourage them to address what measure of discipline we think is tolerable on church grounds. He (my dh) didn't really respond when I said that; I know he'll come with me before the council if I ask him to do that, but I also know he won't say a great deal. He doesn't see it affecting any change, and he may be right. But the difference between my dh and me is that I'm a principle person. On principle, I feel I should respond to the incident. He tends the majority of the time to just not get involved. (That's the Swiss for you.;))

 

Anyway. Long-winded answer; sorry about that. It's still very much on my heart and mind and the more time passes, the more difficult it is to address it. But I still feel I need to, in some way. Thank you again for asking!