Good books on tough toddlers?

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I may not make it until DS is 10yr at this rate. The child is as stubborn as they come and has a temper to go with it. Like most 2 year olds he wants what he wants & he wants it right now. When he doesn't get his way, he hits, bites, pinches, head butts, kicks, pulls hair, basically whatever he can do. He screams "NO!" in the meanest voice if he doesn't want to do something. He exhausts me.

 

For example, just a little bit ago he wanted on my lap. I had the computer on my lap on the couch because I was working. I told him I was working and he couldn't sit on my lap right now, but he could snuggle up next to me if he wanted. He was insistent and tried to force his way on my lap. I repeated that he could not sit on my lap right now, but he was welcome to sit next to me and tried to pull him in close by my side. He just screamed "NO!" at me and began to hit, kick, and head butt me. So, off to time out he went.

 

I do this all.day.long. I would welcome any book recommendations!!!

 

Thank you!

[Guest OliviaJoy]

First of all, BIG HUGS! I'm new to the board but I figure I"ll jump right in. ;)

 

The best parenting book I've ever read (and I've read lots of them) is called "Children: The Challenge" by Rudolph Dreikurs. It came highly recommended by my pediatrician after asking him similar questions about my 3 year old. I still refer to the book even though my boys are older now.

 

My son is very sensitive and ultimately what he needed was my focus on him at least part of the day, and for me to smile at him even when he was naughty (shortly after anyway instead of continuing to be annoyed with him, yes I did that). Sounds overly simple. I understand the behavior/training issues too and the book really helped me with my strong-willed child who was head butting me too. I had a new baby and that was causing issues. I imagine working from home causes similar issues. We can't just drop everything (baby or work) and it was a fine balancing act....

 

I hope this helps. I certainly understand.

 

:grouphug:

[BarbecueMom]

This was my older kid. My younger one so far just whines, a lot, and I think I'd rather take the "beatings"!

 

This book, I Brake for Meltdowns, was the only one that helped: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0738211672/ref=redir_mdp_mobile

[Kareni]

I'd suggest Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[brett_ashley]

I highly recommend Love and Logic. You will see instant results. The premise is that you give your preschoolers lots of options, and they are so busy making choices they don't realize they are complying with your requests.

 

For example, when I'm taking my 2 year old to use the toilet against his will--here's the dialogue.

 

"Alex, the clock says it's time to go potty. Do you want to walk to the bathroom or do you want to race? Do you want to turn the light on or should I? Do you want to take your pants and underwear off at the same time or one at a time? Do you want sit down or stand up?" ad nauseam

 

It's tiring, but NOWHERE NEAR as exhausting as the willpower struggles and meltdowns.

 

 

http://www.amazon.com/Love-Logic-Magic-Early-Childhood/dp/1930429002

[brett_ashley]

also want to add that I don't use Love and Logic very much after the preschool years, but it gets us to the age where you can do more heart discipline. (Of course I still try and use logical consequences as much as possible.)

[Little Nyssa]

Happiest Toddler on the Block.