Are playdates for preschoolers important?

[Tohru]

My dd is 3yo and my son is 14yo. We're expecting another in September.

 

My dd is very social and loves to play with other children. Her friend moved a few months ago and now I feel guilty about not being able to let her have a consistent play outlet anymore.

 

During the week, our schedule is so confining that it's really hard to get together with other families of preschoolers. Everyone around here with kids her age schedule parkdays/playdates around 10am or at noon on weekdays. Generally I'm working with my son on high school prep stuff from about 9am until noon. If I skip working with him it's so hard for either of us to get back on track the rest of the week. We only work well together in the mornings.

 

My dd takes a nap in the afternoon from about 12:30 or 1pm until 2:30 or 3:30. Around 4ish I start dinner and our evening/nightime routine starts (dishes, family time, bath, bed.) So any afternoon meeting is out.

 

Wow, what a ramble.

 

I guess I just want to know if I should make playdates more of a priority? There aren't any neighborhood kids so we're pretty much the only one she sees, plus grandparents.

[abbeyej]

Is there any chance there's a mother's day out type program in your area? Something where she could spend a couple of hours one or two days a week playing with other preschoolers while you work with your son?

[LittleIzumi]

Mine LIVE for them. We seriously have 3-4 every week (often at a park in the summer) and they still want more. :001_huh: They're on one right now, in fact. They are all scheduled at the same time each week so I can work everything in the same pretty much every week.

[twoforjoy]

Playdates for my kids are important for me. Nearly all of our playdates are with my friends' kids, so I go over, too, and we all hang out. I think I'd lose it if I didn't have that social outlet.

 

I think you need to figure out how they fit into your family's needs and schedule as a whole.

 

I can totally see how the age gap between your kids makes things rough. Are there any moms who just have littles who might be able to bring their kids over for a playdate sometimes, and stick around to supervise, while you do school? You could join them when your son is working independently, but give him your attention when needed and still know the littles are being supervised.

[LibraryLover]

Is there one day a week you can switch the time frame for your oldest? Or, if the playgroup is in someone's home, would they allow him to work in a quiet room on work he does independently? Can you take a mid -week day off and work on a weekend day?

 

It's tricky when kids have different needs. As I said in another post, tweaking for individual need is what we parents do. As hsers, we have the option and freedom to do things in a way that works best for our families.

Edited June 14, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Dobela]

My oldest is 11 and my dd is 4. I have found that the playdates for her are very important. One reason is that without them she is only around older kids, my son's age or older, and spends all her time trying to imulate them or get attention from them (and not always in nice ways). When we were in mixed age groups my dd then continued to only want to be with kids too old for her and it was a frustrating experience for everyone. I found a friend from church that now keeps her one morning a week to play with her daughters who are about the same age. Since I don't want to reciprocate and keep her girls I have agreed to pay her a set amount each week. My dd loves playing the age appropriate games with them. We have noticed that she is wanting to play with kids her age at playgrounds and such.

[Colleen in NS]

I guess I just want to know if I should make playdates more of a priority? There aren't any neighborhood kids so we're pretty much the only one she sees, plus grandparents.

 

I never did put priority on "playdates." I had to take care of my kids and family needs first. That said, I did/do try to get together every so often with other families, whose mothers I was/am friends with. It was *me* getting together with a friend, and our kids followed along and played together (or beside each other when they were younger). We've never really had many neighbourhood kids, either (they come and go frequently), but I count that as a blessing, lol. Less troubles to deal with as I raise my kids. But my kids aren't lacking in "socialization." They see other kids at least once a week at church, and at family get-togethers that other Moms and I arrange. They also, for the most part, get along pretty well within our family and around others.

Edited June 16, 2011 by Colleen in NS