JudoMom Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 You really should consider leaving. I know how hard it is--we recently left the church we'd been a part of for 13.5 years. I don't need to go into details about why we left, but let me assure you that finding another church isn't sinful or wrong, no matter what the leadership tells you. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Hope you find a sweet fellowship that you can really connect with. Good, true friends are hard to find. Don't overlook those much older or younger then you. I have a very sweet older woman who is probably my best friend in our church and she is about my mom's age! God brought us together and she is like a mom to me. We live very far from both my parents and in laws, so it's very precious that we have her. Look around their are many lonely people out there. People who need a friend like you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Your feelings are trying to tell you something, and deep down you need to trust yourself and act in your own best interests rather than hope others will. It sounds like it is not your place to be- not your spiritual home, your spiritual community. Not where your heart belongs. You can't change others but you can change yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
venusmom Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 (edited) Again.... YOU DON'T NEED TO FIX IT! You're perfectly primed to be the one that thinks this with your upbringing, the responsible kid who had to protect her sibling from irresponsible parents. Fixing things was what you did but... QUOTE] This might just be where I get stuck...I had not thought of that. My poor grandmother who did not know how to handle my mother either always put me in the position of trying to bring my mom back under control when she rarely was. She had me handle the situations my mom got herself into when she just could not any longer. (My grandmother never had a drivers license...so because I was young and could endure longer walks and then when I got older - I had the car - I guess I just became the parent to all of them - grandmother, mom and little brother.) You may have just hit the 'nail on the head' as to why I am in this situation. It may just feel normal. Maybe knowing why I do something will help me recognize when I need to draw my boundaries more boldly. :001_smile: Also - in response to another question asked (sorry - I forgot who asked it)...my 18 year old still lives with me - he's attending a university only 45 min's away this fall...but the other 3 are all in school out of state right now. Visiting them is tough because they live in dorms...but we do when we can. Edited June 8, 2011 by venusmom Add comment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BethG Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 The whole default "talking point" of you're not leaving sounds strange and cult-ish. And, honestly, what came to mind is that your family must contribute a handsome tithe and that perhaps that's part of the don't leave mantra. (don't have to reply to my surmises, but just being honest what came to mind FWIW). For my other thoughts, I'll PM ya. In the meantime......:grouphug:to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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