thescrappyhomeschooler Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 My kids have many cousins and neighbors close in age to them, with whom they play more than with any other kids. Why do outside people seem to think this is not enough "peer interaction"? Why, simply because I homeschool, do people feel the uncensored need to tell me that my children need to be around other kids their own ages, outside of family. I then ask them (in a slightly snotty manner) if Cub Scouts, Sunday school, Hip Hop and Tumble class, and Homeschool Theatre class count. My kids don't have "best" friends because they are 16 months apart and are best friends with each other for right now. I fail to see why that is a bad thing. And they like their cousins and ask for them to come and play way more frequently than any other kids they know. I don't think that is a bad thing, either. So why do I let it bug me when people seemed concerned for my kids' 'friendless' state? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Oh yes - for some reason everyone feels they MUST give their opinion if you're a homeschooler.... Ug. As for kids their "own age", it is what they know. School is all about the same ages staying together, and many truly believe there is only one right way to do things. Don't sweat it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Because it has become the norm in our society due to institutionalized school, and so now society believes that to be the right way. However, just because something is the norm or the tradition does not make it right. After reading Hold on to Your Kids by Neufeld, I have absolutely no qualms about my dc not having friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Over time, you will see whether they are the kinds of kids who are really hungry for closer, more personal relationships with "friends" or whether they are content. I have 13yo twin boys and they are definitely less in need of friends their own age. They have so much fun together, and while they do have a few good friends and a lot of peer exposure, they don't initiate as much of it as other kids do. They naturally meet a certain amount of each other's needs. But I think people think they need friends because most people feel that those friendships were really important to them in their teen years. It can be a very lonely experience to be in scouts, swim team, youth group etc etc but to feel that absence of a really good friend even in the midst of peer activity. This is true of school too, of course. School isn't necessarily a cure all, and if a kid doesn't make friends easily and is a the victim of teasing and meanness, it can be a disaster. Anyway, I have several friends who are considering sending their children to school because as their kids have gotten older, they are simply lonely. These are not people who have kept their children out of activities. They have siblings and have plenty of activities. But they don't have really great friends, and for some children, that is a very painful reality. But I do think it's odd that people give you a lot of unsolicited advice on this. I almost never get that. I would probably drop the snotty responses and just ask, "Are you specifically worried about my children or are you just making conversation?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiebird Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 I've just been dealing with this. My son is considered a 4th grader and his partner in this report about castle weapon/defense systems :tongue_smilie: is a 6th grader. My MIL had this big cow about how my son was working with someone too old for him and, "Isn't there anyone the same age as he is in that library club of his?" UGH. She acts like I'm about to let him go out on a date with some 19 year old girl next week or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 We're dealing with the fall-out that was brought on by the public schools' change from mixed-age-group schools to compulsory education and age-segregated classrooms at the turn of the last century. Gregg Harris used to talk about this at his homeschooling workshops. Previously, in the history of the world, children grew up and were just part of society; since the age-segregated classrooms became the norm, every 10 to 12 years there's a new, recognizable youth group, the first being the young people of the Roaring Twenties. They were the first ones to go completely through school in age-segregated classrooms, followed by the Beatniks (I'm thinking the group followed by the Roaring Twenties was sucked in by the two World Wars), followed by the hippies and whatnot of the 60s, and so on. I think this is one reason there's such a proliferation of retirement communities...but I digress. :-) Anyway, that's why. :001_smile: I resist it with all my heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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