swellmomma Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 I met with ds12's ped yesterday. Finally, someone is listening to me. He says the psych field has totally failed my family. He says that he is tired of hearing from them that I am some nuts mom because I say there is something wrong with my kid, but refuse to put him in school(and did extended nursing, and co-sleeping, and take thekids to work with me etc). The most recent garbage was received from when my ds was in the hospital back in november, claiming that ds was too attached to me, and I was the root cause of his issues. However, they failed to forward any of the test results etc to the ped for him to decide on his own. THat said, the ped knows me and ds very well. He has said, that while I am weird and quirky(he is referring simply to the fact I buck the norms, like homeschooling, alternative measures bfore meds etc)does not make me wrong in my approach with ds and that I am not the cause of his issues. The area I feel especially vindicated in, is I have felt for some time now that ds has bipolar. The shrinks that were willing to say maybe were very quick to say they would not Dx or treat it until he was much older, the others said it was conduct disorder. Personally of the 2 I would prefer the bipolar label. Anyway, I have been compiling research, observations of ds etc to back up my belief on that. The ped agreed with me 100%. He said he has seen ds in each mood(he has treated ds for depression before, has seen the rages, seen the hyperness etc). In order to cover his butt for treating a mood disorder as a ped he is getting documentation from my boss who has also witnessed all of this with ds. In the meantime ds has started antidepressants again and once he is stable on those we will look at adding in the next step. I am so thankful that the ped listened and could see what I was saying without blowing me off like so many others have. We spent 1.5 hours reviewing ds's file and behaviours for him to see the pattern from age 3 on, when looked at from a bipolar outlook all the loose ends that never fit before make sense completely. In addition to that we are doing thyroid testing(he has gained 35lbs since sept with no rhyme or reason), and kidney function test, on our way to treating his bedwetting. Up until recently he didn't care about it so we were taking a wait and see if he grows out of it approach, but now it is starting to upset him so time to actually do something about it. I know we have a long way to go, and bipolar is by no means an easy disorder to work with, but compared to being told your kid is fine but choses to be a criminal or is a budding psychopath with no form of treatment I will take bipolar in a heart beat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 In the meantime ds has started antidepressants again and once he is stable on those we will look at adding in the next step. I just wanted to make a quick comment that if your son is in fact bi-polar anti-depressants can actually make things worse if he is not stabilized first. I would not recommend that as a first course of treatment as it can cause a immediate mental health emergency. Please do a little research on this and talk to your dr about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 I just wanted to make a quick comment that if your son is in fact bi-polar anti-depressants can actually make things worse if he is not stabilized first. I would not recommend that as a first course of treatment as it can cause a immediate mental health emergency. Please do a little research on this and talk to your dr about this. That's good to know. I will give him a call. He thought since ds had been on the antidepressants before it would be a safer way to go, but he is a first to admit that this is not his area of expertise, he is jsut sick and tired of ds not getting any help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Well, as a mom of a dc dx'd w/ BP, I'm glad you have some answers, and I highly (HIGHLY!) recommend the book The Bipolar Child. It's not just a how-to-cope or parenting manual, it has help for all aspects incl. details about medications. Something I learned not just from that book but from real life occurance is that commonly, antidepressants aggrivate BP. I understand that after years of built-up frustration, pain, etc. you say you would take a dx of BP (a clear & unblaming explanation for the situation) over conduct disorder any day. I have been there as the mom of a kid who was so out-of-control that she was misdiagnosed w/ all sorts of conduct disorder (there's waaaay more to that but I'll leave it alone here). I feel a bit cautious about this for you, though. What you have to keep in mind is that even a BP person has to learn to cope in the world, to conduct & behave appropriate to life situations. BP, while it feels (at first) like a relieving explanation for all the madness, isn't a free pass for the person who has it. Either way, with BP or with a conduct disorder, kids have to learn to manage themselves. I know there's quite a few other moms of BP children here, too. Please don't hesitate to vent/ask/share. ((((hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 BP, while it feels (at first) like a relieving explanation for all the madness, isn't a free pass for the person who has it. Either way, with BP or with a conduct disorder, kids have to learn to manage themselves. I know there's quite a few other moms of BP children here, too. Please don't hesitate to vent/ask/share. ((((hugs)))) This part I get, and we are still working on that stuff, he is gettinga youth worker, to help him in the community, going into therapy etc(those steps were underway before this appt). The part I am happy about is that we can finally GET the help. I am not going to give him a free pass on his behaviour I never will. BUt when I am trying to get him help and am told that He doesn't need therapy because he is normal and I am the nuts one, or that he is CHOOSING to do bad stuff just because he is a bad kid, rather than in that state of mind he did the wrong thing, there is a difference in what is done with him. I don't know what it is like in your area, but getting any sort of help out here has been next to impossible, especially when I am told he is just being bad to be bad. The only answer anyone has ever suggested was to ship him off to a residential school for ODD/CD. I spoke to the school they said if his behaviours turned out to be bipolar rather than CD they would simply send him home as they don't deal with that. THe thing is the behaviours taht lead them to say it was CD are so sporadic, ODD behaviour sure those are there, but the CD type stuff you can always see coming because you can see how he is responding to his world. My boss even asked me a couple weeks ago if ds had delusions, because several times she witnesed what she believed was delusional thinking. He does. BUt because when he was in the hospital he didn't display that stuff they said he was normal. Um, no, he simply was not out of control. They commented on the fact he was withdrawn, meloncholy etc and blamed it on being attached to me and homeschooling(after all I apparently never taught him social skills). But they did not see the rages, out of control behaviour, irritability etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 I just wanted to make a quick comment that if your son is in fact bi-polar anti-depressants can actually make things worse if he is not stabilized first. I would not recommend that as a first course of treatment as it can cause a immediate mental health emergency. Please do a little research on this and talk to your dr about this. :iagree: Ask how I know :glare:. They need a mood stabilizer with it or he will be thrown into a medically induced manic state if he is indeed bipolar. Hooray on getting someone to LISTEN finally!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 That is good to hear isn't it? Bucking the trend is not something a lot of doctors or mental health workers can understand it seems. I hope you are able to finally get your ds the treatment he needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVA Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 I'm SO happy for you that your ped has been such a great doc. Glad to hear he is carefully assessing the facts and looking for the best remedy for your ds. While he may not agree with your approach, he is being respectful and working within your parameters. (If only MY family would think like that!) Blessings on you, swellmomma. You get a gold star for your perseverence and the love you have for your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Oh, swellmomma, I know exactly what you mean about medical personale not seeing the "other side" or all the symptoms in your child! It sounds like he was on the down-side of the rollercoaster during that hospital stay, and they just didn't get to go for the full ride with him. I agree, even though the child is essentially the same no matter the dx, it changes the lens you (and esp. others!) view his behaviour through & the approaches taken to address it. I'm so happy for you that finally you'll have support in addressing his issues in ways that will make a difference! I know it's running in circles to try addressing BP as simply "being bad". Keep us posted on his progress! (((hugs!))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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