Scheduling/Organization Help Please?

[kimmyandgracie]

OK, this is my situation: Dh and I have 5 children (4 are his from a previous marriage and one we have together). The youngest 4 (ages 16,15,13 and 4) live with us full time and the oldest (age 19) lives with us the majority of the time. Also living with us are my MIL, a BIL and much of the time a niece or a nephew stay with us. On most days, there are at least one or two friends over to visit. None of the adults in the family have the same work schedule (I work FT nights 12h shifts/ 3X a week, MIL works 6a-2p 5x a week, dh works from home and can pretty much set his own hours, BIL works odd jobs and is an independent truck driver so he has a lot of control over his schedule, too). None of us are naturally organized people and as such we have no real routine. As you can imagine, that is a recipe for disaster in the area of home management. Our house is a wreck, we always have food in the house, but meals are usually a fend-for-yourself proposition. Homeschooling has kind of been catch-as-catch-can. I can tell that the chaos is draining on most everybody and my heart is burdened to bring more order to our home. I feel like we need some kind of a system to make this work, but the circumstances seem so convoluted that I am kind of at my wit's end as to how to make this happen. Dh and my stepdaughter (age 16) are willing to help me, but in general nobody seems to be interested in working together to make the situation work. I love my family and friends, and I am thankful (and astonished, actually, considering what a madhouse it is) that so many people want to be around us, but I am really struggling with all this. I try to lower my expectations and to be content, and sometimes I do pretty well with this, but I can't help wanting more for our family. Sorry this is so long. I really appreciate any help and advice. Thanks in advance.

[JennifersLost]

I'm overwhelmed just reading that!

 

I think I'd start by writing out ALL the chores - including shopping, meal prep....everything!

 

Then I'd ask each of the adults to COMMIT to certain chores. Tell them that if they commit to the chore you won't nag them - it's THEIRS. But also set a date on the calendar to come back together to meet and talk about what worked and what didn't.

 

Then, with dh's help I'd assign chores to each of the kids. Dh and you need to commit to policing those. If you don't, they will slide.

 

If you're not eating together, maybe you could begin to make crockpot meals and salads - or things like that that someone could take charge of making in the morning and then people could eat as time allowed. At least that should make your grocery bills and healthy meals more handle-able.

 

With the homeschooling part I think you need to do the same thing: the kids get lists of what to do on their own, and the different adults take charge of different subjects. Sounds like you could use a weekly family meeting, too - just to make sure everything is getting done.

 

Another thing we've done which is incredibly effective is picking a two to three hour time when EVERYONE is available to work, divvy up the chores and get the whole house clean from top to bottom. If everyone just does it you can get a LOT done.

 

HTH!

[Peek a Boo]

I agree w/ what Jennifer said.

 

I have 5 dc and we are "naturally disorganized" too -- i could almost FEEL the similarities, lol.

 

a few things that help:

 

baby steps. You are NOT going to get organized all at once. Choose ONE thing to assign to each person [like w/ chores] and don't add more till those are set. That might mean putting one person in charge of thawing out a freezer meal on specific days. more about that below....

 

The Freezer is Your Friend. Make double batches of food and freeze it for a quick-dinner one night. Do this w/ each meal you get around to making and soon enough you'll have a nice stash. I also swear by frozen lasagnas, frozen pizzas, chicken nuggets, egg rolls, chicken pot pies, and fish sticks. We take the stress out of cooking the meal and we can enjoy each other a bit more. We still DO cook some traditional meals, but dh didn't marry me for my cooking ;)

 

assign one household chore and one companion education task to each person. each person should be able to help ONE of the kids w/ an educational task: even siblings can help quiz vocabulary, do a read aloud session, or spend 20 minutes playing/reading w/ the 4yo.

 

calendar:

most planner systems don't work well for me. The best ones i keep coming back to are a cheapo desk calendar w/ magnets on the back stuck to the fridge. one of the stores even has lines in each day. I also like the month-at-a-view calendars from the dollar stores. Not teh tiny ones, but the ones that are about 8 inches by 8inches.

 

Lists:

making a list of 5 essential tasks that need to be done to start the day and postinjg it on the wall helps. I still have to walk everyone over to the list and say "SEE!!!??? Does NOBODY see this list??!! It's been here for a whole year and we do it everyday-- did the sun not rise today?? Did i put a big ol' EXEMPT stamp on the list in invisible ink??? HeLLOOO!!! Do The List!!! c'mon, say it w/ me now.... DO THE LIST!!!!. Whew." ok, it's not always that bad, but if th3e list gets followed 4 outta 7 days that's a plus here, lol.

 

what are the three top things you'd like to see done? If only three things got done in one day, what would you want them to be? mine are "put away the dishes from the dishwasher, change the trashcans in the bathrooms and [esp!] kitchen, and clear the table. A side note: I'd add "clear the floors" but dh is a nut about that. i rarely have to ask for that task to be completed cuz gets all psycho if the floor's a mess. is there anything your family WILL help enforce naturally? if you try to be "on board" by enforcing their pet peeves, they might be more on board about helping enforce YOUR pet peeves. S make sure any of the tasks you want done aren't already ones someone else is doing! we're looking for CHANGE here! :D

 

now, what three days are your toughest in planning and following through: with all the people coming and going in your house, which transition is toughest and stresses you out the most? focus on fixing/planning/ preparing for THOSE times especially. Mine was getting lunch and dinner ready for co-op days. Or making sure gis are washed for TKD. And church clothes set out the night before. I still am not great about thinking "a day ahead' and making sure stuff is ready to whip on the table ASAP, but I'm getting better. I am very much a last-second kinda gal.

 

anyway, there's some thoughts from me. good luck!!