bigdogs29906 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I just need a safe place to vent. Feel free to ignore me... I know that I should be happy to give. I should take pleasure in the fact that I've made someone happy. But somehow, when I give to this person, I don't. He's an able bodied man that doesn't work...just collects social security....he has cable, but can barely afford to swing anything else. Sure, we have enough to pay our bills. They are paid this month. They'll be paid next month too (barring tragedy). We have enough to have some fun every now and then. But we don't have THAT much extra money. The money that just went to him would have come in handy, but we'll be ok with out it. And he will be happy to receive the money. He may or may not spend it in a way that I would approve, but it is his to do with as he wishes. And he will be happy. And I should be proud/happy that I've brightened someone's day. But I'm not. It has made me cranky. Boo. I love my husband, but he is an enabler aka: really nice. So I will stew here quietly while he gets a check to his father. And he will be happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I don't know the specifics but if it's your dh's father he's probably old enough to collect social security, so why does it matter whether he's able-bodied? Are you saying he shouldn't be retired? If it galls you so much to give him money that he may not spend the way you like, get him gift certificates next time. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I just need a safe place to vent. Feel free to ignore me... Feel free to vent! I'm sure there's a lot more to this story, because I can feel the frustration in your post. :grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 I don't know the specifics but if it's your dh's father he's probably old enough to collect social security, so why does it matter whether he's able-bodied? Are you saying he shouldn't be retired? If it galls you so much to give him money that he may not spend the way you like, get him gift certificates next time. Tara I agree, and I'm a little confused, too. If he's collecting social security, it's either because: 1) He's been proven to be disabled and therefore isn't quite as able-bodied as you might think, or 2) He's of retirement age and is enjoying his retirement years- and why shouldn't he do so? Maybe there's more backstory here that we know nothing about, but without knowing that, I wouldn't begrudge someone their retirement years- and if giving a gift of money didn't sit right, I'd give a gift of something else- something he could use in the house, or, like Tara said, a gift certificate. Unless your husband is adamant about the gift being money, in which case I'd just let it go- it IS his father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdogs29906 Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 Thank you for the hugs. There probably is more back story here. But, at the time I think I was just feeling more frustration about the inability (mine) to give joyfully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 No problem at all -- I'm sure most of us have been there and done that, too! :) Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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