Am I overreacting?

[Pretty in Pink]

You are not overreacting! Your MIL was very out of line. FWIW, I would not be offended if someone handed me a stranger's baby and the parent took the baby back. I understand that everyone has their own comfort level with those sorts of things. No big deal.

 

Your MIL sounds like a real piece of work. I am truly sorry that you have to deal with her boneheadedness. :grouphug:

[elegantlion]

Rude, yes! Overreacting? No no no no.

[MelanieM]

I really have to disagree with this. It's not an 'option' for everyone to 'choose' whether or not they are bothered by the antics of others.

Some people can make that choice, and good for them. Some people can't, for many reasons- especially in a situation where they are already a bit stressed. Telling a person who is not able to 'choose' to not be offended that they CAN choose to not be offended really makes it seem as though 'they' are the problem, and not the rude arse. The problem is the behavior of the arse, not that the person on the receiving end of their arseholeness is somehow lacking in not being able to 'choose' to let it go/not be offended.

 

I am a firm believer in personal accountability. That means people need to own up to being "arseholes", and that people need to own up to their own perspectives and emotional responses to situations. This doesn't mean I have to take responsibility for someone else's poor manners, but it is certainly up to me what I do about it. And yes, that includes whether or not I choose to hold onto offense, or choose to find a different perspective that feels better. (Understanding that sometimes being offended feels better than the alternative for some people.)

 

Some things are just offensive, some statements should just not be made. :banghead: While there are times when someone has a chip on their shoulder and they're looking to be offended, this was not one of those moments. This is a person spewing out venom trying to hurt another person. Not an innocent comment that resulted in offense on accident.

 

 

I want to be clear that I was not at all suggesting that the OP has a chip on her shoulder and was looking to be offended. I *do* believe we get to decide whether or not something can offend us, but that's not the same as suggesting people are off looking for drama/trouble and excuses to be offended.

 

Also, while it's possible that the MIL here is a mean person out to cause hurt, it's also possible that she's simply a clueless person with no tact or sense of social skills. Based on what was posted here we couldn't possibly know enough about her character to make such a call about her one way or the other, but this is an example of what I mean about choosing perspective... for me, it always feels better to give people the benefit of a little grace (even if from a distance, if that's what I need to keep sane!) than it does to label them as evil-doers out to harm me.

[justamouse]

Wow, that whole scene was totally sucktacular.

 

No, you re not overreacting. She's being mean and rude and basically making your Dh pick sides. He picked the right one.