WWYD? Dh scheduled to be out of town on Tues.

[Sue G in PA]

Okay, you all know I'm overdue (or maybe my due date was just off, but in either case...I'm VERY pregnant!). Thanks for putting up w/ my whining. :) This is the situation. Dh is scheduled to be out or town (almost 3 hours away) all day on Tuesday. Meetings at 3 different schools in DC (can we say TRAFFIC!). There are other people going so it's not like he is the ONLY one to run these meetings. I'm extremely uncomfortable w/ this b/c my last couple births were very quick labors...longer pushing, but quick labors (we're talking less than 2 hours). I did have one birth that was 4 hours start to finish. Anyway, it really makes me nervous to have him so far away when I am so very DUE! He got very angry with me this evening when I mentioned my nervousness and basically threw up his hands and said, "Well, what are you telling me to do? Stay home?" YES! But I can't tell him what to do...it's his job. I'm really hurt right now (and still a bit miffed about our earlier conversation...see my what not to say to pregnant woman thread). What would you do or say? I want him to know I respect his job and his position, but isn't this more important than a job? He would be devastated if he missed the birth and I don't know how forgiving I'd be if he did. I want HIM to make the choice to stay (his job is very flexible so it's not a question of he can't stay home, KWIM?). So, what would you do? Am I wrong to feel this way? I can take being put in my place...so please be honest!

[battlemaiden]

Oh sweetie...like being overdue isn't maddening enough!

 

I'm sure you are both on edge. The ticking bomb syndrome- let's give it a name shall we? ;)

 

It sounds like he has to go to work. If it was an optional boondoggle I'm sure he'd ditch in a heartbeat.

 

Here's the easier said then done statement: why stress over what you can't change? Sorry. :grouphug:

 

What are the chances that Tuesday would be THE day, after all you've gone through? It's just too bizarre to think about. Take it one day at a time. Tonight may be the night and you would have been ticked for nothing.

 

When it comes right down to it, DC to PA isn't that far. I bet he would make it back.

 

This really is easy to say. Dh will miss the birth of this little one for sure because he'll be deployed. It's much harder for me to think of him not getting to hold his newborn than not being there for the actual birth. The baby will be nearly 1/2 a yr before he holds him.

 

I'm not sure I'm any help. I do understand that overdue pregnancy underlying stress in the home. But it will hardly be remembered when the blessed day arrives.

 

I wish you aaaallllll the best for this delivery that it turns out just as you hope. [hugs]

 

JO

[Sue G in PA]

This really is easy to say. Dh will miss the birth of this little one for sure because he'll be deployed. It's much harder for me to think of him not getting to hold his newborn than not being there for the actual birth. The baby will be nearly 1/2 a yr before he holds him.

JO

 

You have put this all into perspective for me. I can't even imagine my dh being deployed when the baby is born and not getting to hold him/her until he/she is 6 mos. old. Jo, I'm so embarrassed now for my whining. Thank you, thank you for this perpective. You are right...chances are I'll either have this baby before then or it will come and go and I'll have it after. Either way, DC isn't that far.

[battlemaiden]

Don't you dare be embarrassed. My dh is a submariner who has been present at all *six* of his dc's births! It's been a miracle he hasn't missed one by now. ;)

 

It's never easy, but we know what we sign up for in this life.

 

So in late August or early September when I come to the boards in tears missing my dh and overwhelmed you can return the favor and give me a good kick...but go easy on me. ;)

 

Jo

[Sunkirst]

Of course you're not wrong to feel this way. :grouphug:

 

We all want our husband there when we're giving birth. He's our partner, our friend, and when in the hospital, our protector and advocate (Not to mention the father of a new life:)). First, I would give him time (I know you don't have much!). Many of us react defensively when put on the spot, only to reconsider on our own time. If that doesn't work, I would let him know how scared the thought of going into labor alone makes you. Just your feelings. Not his work or his choices or anything else about him, just your feelings. Ideally, knowing that you are terrified at the thought of giving birth alone; knowing that you're anticipating a short labor etc. would help him see things from your perspective.

 

Good Luck!

Hope you go into labor tommorrow :D

[Peek a Boo]

well, besides what Jo shared, I think I'd almost ENCOURAGE dh to GO on this trip if i was still overdue by then, lol. Those last few days are exhausting.

 

If dh LEAVING would do the trick of triggering labor, I'd be packing his bags and shoving him out the door :D

 

But then again, it wouldn't bother me if dh was there or not. I don't think it would bother him too much to miss The Messy Birth as long as he got to hold baby ASAP ;P

 

good luck!

[DIY-DY]

So, what would you do? Am I wrong to feel this way? I can take being put in my place...so please be honest!

 

I really like what Jo had to say (especially the new name for this syndrome). It's still okay to be afraid, and nervous, and frustrated, you know. But also allow yourself and DH a little grace. Get more rest. Practice your 'You did NOT just ask me that' face for when people ask if you haven't had that baby yet (that one always cracked me up - oh, yes, this is just post-partum bloating... wth??? pfft)

 

Oh, and make sure his cell phone is fully charged Monday night! ;) Then set it to ring/vibrate, and pick a really loud, obnoxious ring tone, just to be sure it gets his attention if you do call!

 

{{hugs}}

[Aubrey]

Personally? I'd go for the spark plugs...or something like that...

 

Otoh, talking is good. ;)

[Sue G in PA]

Personally? I'd go for the spark plugs...or something like that...

 

Otoh, talking is good. ;)

 

Oh, Audrey...you always succeed in cracking me up! You and I have very similar personalities...we'd be good friends IRL. Really, this is something I would say (and have thought about. :D). Thanks for the laugh...I needed it!

[Quiver0f10]

You aren't wrong to feel that way and I'd be upset if my DH chose to go. However, I would also do just fine without my DH there. He missed the last baby's birth even though he was at home with me. He had left the room and baby decided to make his entrance.

 

I am betting your body will either have the baby this weekend or wait till he is home and things are settled though. I really believe things like this can keep us from going into labor and when things are "right" it will heppen. Kwim?

 

Hoping you have your baby this weekend! :)

[lori in tx]

You aren't wrong to feel that way and I'd be upset if my DH chose to go. However, I would also do just fine without my DH there. He missed the last baby's birth even though he was at home with me. He had left the room and baby decided to make his entrance.

 

I am betting your body will either have the baby this weekend or wait till he is home and things are settled though. I really believe things like this can keep us from going into labor and when things are "right" it will heppen. Kwim?

 

Hoping you have your baby this weekend! :)

 

my dh managed to miss all 3 of them, yep that's rigtht. first one was an ambulance ride with dh behind me. He was parking the car and I had dd in the hallway for everyone in Dallas to see, nice huh?

 

DC #2 well dd was there, it was only 360 days later, and she needed a new diaper out he went to go change it (we only had one set of neighbors who we trusted in the hood and they were at work) pop came DS.

 

DC #3 was an emergency c-section we had both kids with us and still did not trust anyone (except another lady who was very old) and so once we found a c-section was our only option. I sent dh home, he also has sight of blood issues, to take care of the kids who were 2 and 1yo by then.

 

I pray you don' have to go through it alone. But I can tell you if you do once they find out dh is out of town they are so great with you. At the hospital I had mine at they are a midwife training hospital and I had one midwife to deliver and a newer trainee to just be there for me since I was alone (that was with birth 1 and 3).

 

blessings

lori

[Susan in TX]

If it's any consolation, my dh would have responded just like yours did. And it does hurt. I think you just need to prepare yourself for the possibility that dh won't make it for the birth. The other thing you might want to consider, if you are having a hospital birth, is to request to be induced before Tues. I'm really into natural childbirth, but if I were having a hospital birth and I was overdue and really stressed about the possibility of dh not being at the birth, that's what I'd do.

 

Susan in TX