Do you monitor your dc's IMing?

[newsong]

In the other post on internet protection options I mentioned how K-9 does not yet have IM monitoring but will at some point in the future. Do you monitor your dc's IMing? If so, in what way?

 

Two of my dc have started using AIM. Prior to this, they've either emailed friends or used an online course's built in TM to talk with classmates. We have discussed with them our desire to respect their privacy but also the need for us to maintain oversight. Neither of them have acted inappropriately or been in contact with questionable characters but sometimes conversations have gone in directions that have benefited from follow up with Mom and Dad.

 

With AIM there doesn't seem to be that option since, short of standing over their shoulder as they type, the conversations cannot be saved. I don't want something as invasive or potentially security breaching as keylogging but neither am I comfortable with no access at all. Anyone have any thoughts?

 

Sandy

[mysticamethyst]

My kids all use MSN. I can save all of their history no matter who they are chatting with, read and delete as needed. MSN also has a great family thing that my dh set up for my girls, any website they go to has to be approved by him first as well as their email. So far, I am really happy with MSN and its security of my kids. :)

[Susan in TX]

I don't allow my kids to IM until they are mature enough that I can trust them with the privilege. Right now my kids who are allowed to IM are 15 and 17 and I would consider any monitoring of their conversations an invasion of privacy. If I didn't feel I could trust them implicitly, they would not be allowed to IM.

 

Susan in TX

[JFSinIL]

Mine do not have IM either. They a re 16, 14, 11. They are also devoid of MySpace/Facebook - gosh, I am a mean mom!;)

[Lady Katherine]

We don't allow them to have email or IM, and they use the internet only with a filter and with permission each time.

[newsong]

Tammy - I haven't looked at MSN at all. I'll check it out.

 

Susan - I appreciate that thought and I do want to be respectful of their privacy. My teenage dc are 15 and 13. It isn't so much a matter of trust but that my dc benefit from some things discussed in follow-up conversations with us. Even for some of us, conveying ideas and thoughts in cyber form can be challenging. Being able to check in on their conversations from time to time lets us give feedback on the impressions they are giving. Would you say this would be an indication they are not mature enough for the privilege?

 

JFS (Sorry, I can't see your name in the reply box page) and Lady Katherine - We have allowed the to email and IM (IM just recently) but we do not do My Space or Facebook. My ds is also allowed to participate in his online Latin class chat (it's a requriement) and to text message students participating in the chat using a viewable program connected with the class. We, too, have internet filter, the computer in a central location, permission requests, and time limits. Has your rule against email and IM been an across-the-board standard from the get-go or was this the result of abuse by one of your dc?

 

I appreciate all your input on this. It's helpful to hear others' perspectives as we try to discern the best course for our family.

 

BTW JFS, I am also known as Mean Old Mom around here! LOL! Conversely, My wonderful dh is referred as Dandy and Delicious (Delicious?? Haven't figured that one out yet) -- at least until he needs to be the heavy!

 

Blessings,

Sandy