plans for kids who are not school-ish

[chris's girl]

If you had a couple of kids who were learning challenged in some ways but who you thought really needed to be leaning in engineering-y ways in life, what plan would you set out for them?

9 yo DD I picture as being like Carrie on Mythbusters. She's sort of a Jack of all trades. She fixes things, loves crafts, thinks out of the box, wants to be around when her Daddy does things, loves to watch Monster Jam for a little while with her brothers, wants a K-nex set for her birthday, but then turns around and tells her brother "You know, Jack, I'm a girl. I don't like Legos THAT much". Lol. And she's just not that great at school-ish stuff (I think she's dyslexic but cannot get the neuro-psych to call me back for an appt!), though she LOVES science. So anyway, there's 9 yo DD.

8 yo DS is Lego obsessed. Like, if he did not have Asperger's, I would think the Lego thing has gone a bit too far. All he does all day is build and think about building. He uses his computer time to find more things to build. He's amazing at thinking up new ways to use Lego blocks and is always coming up with a new machine. His other obsession is the Titanic. He's built more than one out of Legos, read several books on it and bought a wooden Titanic which he put together in about 3.5 seconds. But in school he is completely unfocused, one dimensional and unable to grasp English work all that well (at least right now). He doesn't seem all that interested in anything in school right now, but loves to read.

Ok, I know they are only going to be only 9 and 10 (August and September), but I feel like I need a real plan for them, because they are both going to have some major weaknesses in the areas of language if things don't change (I'm trying!). And because of their lopsided talents vs. weaknesses, I just feel like I need to plan things out for them now, in case they don't pull out of it.

Thanks for any advice to my long winded post.

[Rosie_0801]

Are they more willing to focus on LA if they can type rather than write by hand? You might be able to get them to email you things they couldn't write in an exercise book.

 

Just guessing. There are lots of hands on ways to do everything else. For all I know there are more hands on ways of doing LA too and if there is, other mums will chime in!

 

So really I'm just bumping you :)

 

Rosie

[sbgrace]

I've got a different kid but similar "stuff" in that he's learning challenged in certain areas in significant ways, school resistant in areas that aren't his strengths, and mildly/atypically on the autism spectrum.

 

What I struggle with is do I focus on his strengths or trying to remediate the weak areas to the best of my ability. Ideally I balance but there is only so much time so....

 

Here is my thinking. My kid is naturally going to do what he loves. You can't force most kids (let alone a spectrum one!) to deviate from their natural bent nor would you want that. So he's self selecting activities that build on his strengths. I'm enjoying those areas with him. I love just observing the joy he gets in those areas but I don't need to encourage his development in those ways. Particularly at the young ages. I believe his weaknesses are going to hamper his success in life (as a whole/talking beyond career in his case) and it's easier to work on areas younger. Therefore, I focus on making him as successful as possible in the problem areas in the least objectionable way that I can essentially. He's incredibly sensitive to being competent in an area (any area) and shuts down if he feels unsuccessful. So it's a balancing act here. I'm further hindered because my kids have weaknesses in different areas.

 

Anyway, I'm focusing primary energy (and money) on working in his areas of disability both academically and in autism/social areas. I'm also doing things he loves of course.

[chris's girl]

Thanks for the bump, Rosie! :) with DD I have now started letting her write me a paper (a paragraph) about what she learned in science everyday, and to type it out on the computer. We then go over all the spelling and grammar errors (they are many). I am hoping to have something come from that. Anything.

 

Sbgrace--thanks for your perspective. So you are doing the opposite of what I was thinking: letting their interests take care of themselves, and spnding all your resources on the things they fall behind on. Interesting. I am definitely making an effort to bring up their levels in language arts, but I was not looking at it the way you are. So thank you!

[Renee in NC]

I am doing both - pushing him ahead in his areas of strength and dragging him along in his areas of weakness.

[chris's girl]

Thanks for your reply, Renee. Could you elaborate? How do you push him in what he excels in and drag him along in the other stuff (we'll, I think I get the dragging part since that's what we do here. Lol)? What do you use to push him in what he does well in?

Thanks! :)

[Renee in NC]

Thanks for your reply' date=' Renee. Could you elaborate? How do you push him in what he excels in and drag him along in the other stuff (we'll, I think I get the dragging part since that's what we do here. Lol)? What do you use to push him in what he does well in?

Thanks! :)[/quote']

 

Well, I signed him up for a high school class in science. Science and math are his strong points.

 

Mine is also dyslexic and struggles quite a bit in language arts. I have to make him read. I have to force him to write. He hates every minute of it, but even if he ends up as an engineer, he needs to know how to read and write well.

 

I mentioned above that he is strong in math. He is - conceptually. Computation has always been a weak point, especially multiplication and division. So, in this area I am pushing him AND dragging him along. He's behind, but I am dragging him towards Algebra (he could handle it conceptually, but the computation will get in his way.)

[Guest]

Stephanie, I work along the lines you are thinking. I have an Aspie daughter who is now fourteen, and I've always found it smoother going in so many ways to work with her interests. By doing this I've found ways to encourage her strengths and gradually work at her challenges.

 

To give you an idea of how this works: if your son is interested in the Titanic, you could do some geography based on disaster locations. We had a game that we played for years that spun off different obsessions: a cheap map from a used National Geographic, and index cards we made up with questions on them relating to the interest but trying just a bit to expand them -- in the case I mentioned, that would be including a few other disasters or ship sinkings to locate on the map. If you do timelines, put those things on the timeline. When my daughter was around nine our timeline consisted almost entirely of toys, from the earliest toys discovered in Middle Eastern ruins to the first production of Lego bricks to Star Wars action figures. Your son may or may not like expanding his knowledge to include the history of ships, which includes lots of disasters, inevitably (there was a huge steamship explosion on the Mississipi River, I think it was, right after a lot of prisoners had been released following the Civil War and were headed home; it killed all of them. I just read about that the other day). There are tons of books on science and technology-slanted history; my most recent discover is Mr. Lincoln's High-Tech War. By skimming very quickly over a general outline of history, or just picking chapters from books that focus on transportation, innovation or development, you can still give them plenty of material over historical time and begin to develop their sense of chronology and major themes.

 

Many kids such as you describe are not natural writers, and many homeschooling parents on these boards have kids who remained in the copywork and spelling list stage for a very long time, for neurological reasons (something generally seems to click at around age twelve). Copywork can be done using their favorite books; my daughter did narration orally for many years. She read a lot and we discussed everything, but she seldom did extended writing until she got that click. Spelling can work off words taken from books about their interests, mixed with words from the most frequently used word list (you can google this and get lists of varying length) or words most often misspelled.

 

My daughter has a very Aspergerish difficulty with figuring out subtle character motivation and metaphorical language, which are unfortunately two of the prime characteristics of many Great Books. I've had to shift my focus from social realism, particularly the more recent stuff like Steinbeck, Hemingway, etc., and have found that she really gravitates toward satire. So she's read (and listened to on audio) all of Gulliver's Travels, for instance, and The Importance of Being Ernest; she's starting A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, she actually LIKED Waiting For Godot (on a literal and language level). You can tweak and adjust the reading of classics to fit your child's particular way of thinking.

 

My personal inclination, though, would be along the lines of what you described, which is to have the weight of your children's curriculum be centered around what they gravitate towards: science and building. Lego and K'Nex are wonderful things and could be used as the basis for lots and lots of physics-type science. Pair their building with construction books by David Macauley and others like Building Big, or Why Buildings Stand Up or books on bridges and subways; watch NOVA episodes about how the pyramids or siege engines or Stonehenge were built (more history tie-ins); let them build from kits on hydraulics or electricity and magnets and just with piles of materials, without kits. One way to make this more formal or schoolish is simply to keep a science notebook alongside. Start taking pictures of what they're doing, then have them write captions, then brief descriptions (as this lengthen it becomes composition). Encourage them to examine the drawings in books they read about building and physics, and draw models themselves.

 

The idea I went with, which sound similar to what you're thinking, is that you can use their strengths as a way to get at their weaknesses, and do it gently, in gradual increments. JennW and I both have Aspie children who wrote very little until they matured neurologically, when their hands and brains and eyes suddenly seemed to be able to work together at a higher level in one big jump. Until that time, continue background foundation work: short, frequent spelling; VERY short, interest-based writing; lots of discussion in which they practice the skills of ordering their thoughts, expressing themselves articulately, discussing main points, finding evidence, etc. that will come into play once they begin writing longer pieces. There's no need to spend enormous amounts of time sitting at a table forcing them to do what neurologically they are not ready for.

 

If you're interested, I found Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World extremely helpful; it has very specific techniques for working on reading and writing with kids whose thinking processes are hands-on, visual, mathematic or scientifically oriented. Peggy Kaye's books Games For Reading and Games For Writing (meant for grades K-5) are also wonderful finds: full of suggestions for quick, short, fun games with no elaborate set-up, which either introduce kids to or practice skills. (She's also got a book called Games For Math.)

Edited July 12, 2010 by Guest

[Faithr]

I agree with the fact that you have to bite the bullet and work on weaknesses. I tried doing it the other way with my oldest kids and wound up having to remediate a lot. It doesn't help their confidence either if they know they are weak in certain areas and are well below the level their friends are in things like writing and reading. All my kids have been late bloomers with reading, writing and spelling due to eye problems (tracking, focus, eye fatigue). Think of it like exercising. If you are overweight you need to work out more, not less in order to get yourself in shape even though you feel like it is going to kill you when you first start. It is the same thing with trying to tackle LDs. You need to work harder, not ignore or downplay the effort involved.

 

That said, the best thing I've found is to be very Charlotte Mason about it. Do short, to the point lessons. Make them as painless as possible. Consistency is key (my weak point!). To counter the unpleasantness, I try to make things as fun as possible. How about copying over riddles, jokes, tongue twisters, Calvin and Hobbes comics for copy work? For grammar, I've found my kids respond well to things like Winston Grammar or books that focus on diagramming sentences on a whiteboard. Diagramming appeals to engineer types because it deconstructs the sentence. It shows HOW all the words work together.

 

I think the idea of having your dd write a paragraph about what she learned in science sounds good! Your dd sounds like mine a lot. She builds stuff out of cardboard boxes all the time! She's made elevators for her dolls, vending machines (stocked with granola bars stolen from the pantry!), she loves working with her dad when he's doing some little carpentry project. She's also into cooking and art. Very hands on about everything. She however is more into history than science (though she likes science too).

 

Even though my kids resist mightily when I make them to do things they hate (like reading and writing!). They are soooo proud of themselves when they finish something. My kids like to save their copy work books and look throuh them. They love to see how their own handwriting improved. I have one son who was diagnosed dysgraphic. I had let the handwriting slide but when he was in 7th grade we finally had him tested. He had to do very expensive therapy for a year to learn to write! But his self-confidence absolutely skyrocketed after that very difficult year. He actually skipped 8th grade because his handwriting and spelling were the things holding him back. The next year he was in a 9th grade Biology class where he had to write out hundreds of vocabulary cards. It was so painfully hard. Luckily he thought Biology was fascinating and found dissecting the coolest thing ever. To this day (and he's 18 now) he prizes those vocab cards. It was such a monumental effort for him and HE DID IT!

 

Some learning comes easily and is a breeze, you can basically unschool that stuff. But other learning is hard work, but it builds character!