Church and youth groups. WWYD?

[AFwife Claire]

Sometimes getting ideas across in a message board is tough.

 

I don't think the family should be together ALL the time. But what I often see is a youth group doing EVERYTHING separately. They even sit separately during worship. It's like the youth are treated as a separate church altogether. Yes, I think they should OFTEN do things with the entire family at church. I don't think everything should be tailored to the teen. Teens are capable of participating in adult worship and service. Instead, they are often getting a watered down feel good message coupled with snacks and games. I don't think that is doing them any good. (and yes, I know this isn't the case at all churches, but I've seen it more often than not)

 

 

 

I think you explained this very well! We have many of the same opinions, and we are now in a church that does not have a youth group. Not that the kids don't get together and do things, but no formal group. I have also seen in a few churches we've been involved with over the course of several moves where the youth worship separately and just have their total own thing going on. And everything has to be SUPERCOOL! Over the top! When these kids graduate from the youth group and discover that sitting in a regular service, where you take notes and listen attentively, asking the Holy Spirit to reveal Himself to you, etc. is not supercool, remarkebly entertaining, etc., then I worry that they will just walk out the door and find other more fun things to do with their Sunday mornings. And a lot apparently do, because I remember reading an article not too long ago that said some big number of kids are leaving their faith in college. So I want my kids to worship with us and see that the Christian walk is one of discipleship, not JUST fun, fun, fun. I would want a youth group to be showing that as well, and I just haven't seen it very often. I'm not denying those groups exist, just saying I haven't seen many!

[mereminerals]

If I were in this position, I honestly would take a good look at the doctrinal beliefs of the other church and if I had issues with some of them, I would look to see if any were of a more legalistic viewpoint than scriptural. My boys have often asked to go with a friend to church for a youth event, where we have said no based purely on how vastly different their beliefs were from ours.

 

I am always amazed at how many are anti-YGs. I am very biased as my husband and I both serve in leadership positions in our youth group. We have many fun events for the teens, but they are separate from our regular schedule. Sunday mornings, we all worship together in the first service of our church and then go to Sunday School in age appropriate classes. Sunday evenings during the school year, we have LifeGroups where the kids are separated by gender and grade and meet in various homes of church members and dive even deeper into the word with an experienced youth leader. Examples of such are my husband taught on Revelation and End times and I went through several books of the Bible with my girls. During the summer, we do theme nights, which are more fun on Sunday nights, but there is always a message. On Wednesday evenings, we have a worship service for the youth while the adults are in classes of their own and the younger kids are in Awanas.

 

We do offer alot of fun events outside of this, like this Friday night we are doing a Campout with the 7th/8th graders. We have done scavenger hunts and having the kids over to our house for dinner and movies. These are great opportunities for our teens to invite their friends who might not be involved in a church home and for the kids to have fellowship and build relationships outside of typical youth group events. I understand the sentiment that many churches offer camps and mission trips which are accompanied by large costs. Ours does as well, but I also know how expensive these trips are and most often the costs are not fully recovered by the fee charged to the students.

 

We have several students who attend all of our youth events that belong to other churches. We are very big on Theology and helping the kids understand what they believe and why.

 

I never truly understood all that was involved in youth groups when our oldest son started attending our youth group. Now that I am serving in the youth group, I see all that goes. If you are frustrated with your youth group, you might be surprised at how frustrated the youth group is at the lack of support by most church members. Just food for thought.

[Debora R]

You mentioned concern at differences in doctrine. Knowing what they are and talking to your children about them is likely to be a healthy exercise....much better than showing "fear of exposure."

 

Personally, If the basics are good, I don't worry too much about the "interpretations of man" type stuff....I don't think God cares if we sprinkle or dunk, as long as we understand the whys and wherefores of the act... kwim?

 

Although I wouldn't hesitate to let my children visit another church with a friend once in a while, for more than that I'd want to have a personal feel for the situation: I would attend a few services at the other church, to get a feel for their attitude, and peek in on the Youth Group activities before I'd be comfortable allowing this to be a long term thing.

 

Best wishes to you and your family:)

[QueenCat]

You mentioned concern at differences in doctrine. Knowing what they are and talking to your children about them is likely to be a healthy exercise....much better than showing "fear of exposure."

 

Personally, If the basics are good, I don't worry too much about the "interpretations of man" type stuff....I don't think God cares if we sprinkle or dunk, as long as we understand the whys and wherefores of the act... kwim?

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree: You said it so well, I can't think of anything else to add!

[CandaceC]

Hi, Oney! Fancy meeting you over here! :D

 

My parents allowed me to "choose my church" when I turned 14yrs, I think. (give or take.) I was the pastor's daughter at a small church and our church really didn't have a youth "program" at all. So, I wanted to attend where my friends from school were.

 

The youth pastor at the "other" church is who led me to the Lord...so, for me personally, a whole lifetime of "good" came from my parents making that decision!! :001_smile:

 

I do see and agree with points on both sides that many of the ladies here have voiced...and I do not even have kids in this age category yet, so I probably am not the best one to answer, but wanted to share my experience with you.

 

Growing up as a teen with a pastor for a father, church became a battle...I don't want that for my kids. While I would hope they would want to attend where our family attends, I think for me, after those years of battle as a teen, it will be more important to me that church in general is NOT a battle...and that attendance is more important than location.