What do you do when tantrums derail your lessons/day?

[Kidlit]

I'm thinking here about my preschooler, whose tantrums can reach epic proportions at times. I'm not really looking for a discipline solution here ('though I wish I could extinguish the tantrums!), but more just how do you carry on with schooling?

 

Actually, this applies with my school-aged child, too. She's just in K, but lately she's had some major melt-downs that have derailed our lessons, too.

 

What do you do when this happens?

[TracyP]

This is a discipline solution but maybe will help. Whenever someone has a tantrum I tell them to go (or pick them up and place them) in their bedroom. I tell them that when they are ready to be happy they are free to come join us. My day goes on and around here it works like a charm. HTH!

[Kidlit]

That's pretty much how I handle it, too. :) I guess I just need to emotionally un-involve myself from the tantrums, huh?:D

[SkateLeft]

I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but I sympathize! :grouphug:

 

My littlest has special needs, including some medical issues, and some days he just feels terrible, and gets set off easily.

 

My older kids have gotten very good at working amidst distraction. My little guy tends to run to his room and have it out in there, so at least he's not doing it right in the middle of the schoolroom! I'll also let my older kids remove themselves to other parts of the house, like their rooms or outside, if it helps them continue concentrating.

 

As far as the kindergartener goes, you can always try to think of those as preparation for the later hormonal teen meltdowns! :lol:

[TracyP]

Yeah, and that can be tough. Especially (for me) with my 6 yo. She can wail and carry on - I don't understand it.:lol: I often think if this is 6 what will 14 look like?:001_huh:

[Guest]

That's what we do, too - in the bedroom until they're happy. Mostly for my daughter - but, she is getting better. For my son, I've found the best way to avoid it all together is to start school earlier. Right now, it is getting pretty warm and sunny where we live. (96F forecasted this week!) The sun comes up pretty early, which means my kids do, too. I have found that when we start school at 7am or even 8am, the day goes so much better. This also means longer playtime (since we're done earlier), which is always good, too. This isn't necessary in the fall/winter, but definitely in the spring and summer.

 

I should add that in the fall, we try to start by 9. So, if you start later normally, maybe just look at starting about 2 hours earlier if you think this might help.

[Kidlit]

I suppose I should qualify all this by saying that I'm 36 weeks pregnant, so I'm pretty emotional myself. ;) My girls both have colds, too, and that has made it worse this week.

 

My eldest dd gets frustrated easily with new things. That's the main issue we face.

 

I do think that getting started early with the bulk of our lessons helps, too. Some days, though, it just doesn't happen, for various reasons.

 

It helps to know I'm not alone! :grouphug:

[Veritaserum]

This is a discipline solution but maybe will help. Whenever someone has a tantrum I tell them to go (or pick them up and place them) in their bedroom. I tell them that when they are ready to be happy they are free to come join us. My day goes on and around here it works like a charm. HTH!

 

:iagree: For the younger than 6 set, I'm not really strict about school. If the younger crowd is derailing my older children's lessons we'll either take a break and pick up later (when the littles are calm again), call it quits for the day, or press on and tune out the "background noise".

[SkateLeft]

I often think if this is 6 what will 14 look like?:001_huh:

 

:lol: In our house, 14 looks a lot like 6, sometimes!

[Geo]

Try to notice a pattern of when these tantrums take place. During a lesson? After a break and transitioning back into a lesson?

 

How long do lessons last? Some children are just not mature enough to

handle one lesson after another, even if the material itself is well within

their capabilities.

 

Or is the issue school at all...could it be when you are focusing your attention on her sibling?

 

To me, when is key.

 

Geo

[LauraQ]

I suppose I should qualify all this by saying that I'm 36 weeks pregnant, so I'm pretty emotional myself. ;) My girls both have colds, too, and that has made it worse this week.

 

Maybe it's time to go on maternity leave until baby is at least enough settled into a routine with feedings/naps that you can get back to more intensive schooling. I went on maternity leave at 38 weeks!! But my job wasn't nearly as stressful as homeschooling back then!

 

For the next few weeks while you're still preggers, take a break from formal schooling and just spend time reading good books together, snuggled on the couch. Maybe take one more week to get to a good stopping place in everything, and then declare your leave-of-abscence begun.

 

As to the toddler, we do what other moms here have said--put the tantrumming child in their room (or corner) until they are done. I do not let their tantrum interrupt what else is going on. To do so would be to let a 3 year old rule the household (which most 3 year olds would love to do, hence the tantrums) and in my house, the parents are strong dictators who will not fall to toddler tyrants! LOL!

[OnTheBrink]

:lol: In our house, 14 looks a lot like 6, sometimes!

 

And 12 often looks like 4. :glare: We don't have melt downs anymore, but we do get 'tude.

 

I also think when is important, too. Is the child over stimulated? Hungry? Tired? Need a break? Sometimes a little vamping of the schedule can help, as well as a snack.

[Tracy]

I look at meltdowns as a need that is not being met. With Grasshopper, that usually means that she is not getting enough attention. So we set aside what she is doing and move on to something that we can do together, like a read-aloud. With Cricket, it is either because he is too tired or he has too much energy.

 

I recently read the book, The Five Love Languages of Children, and it really opened my eyes to how I need to deal with meltdowns, especially with Grasshopper.

[Kidlit]

Good sound advice all around, everyone! Thanks!

 

It turns out that eldest dd is sick--she ended up having a fever yesterday afternoon. I'm not sleeping much these days, so it might be that I'm going on forced maternity leave soon! :)