mrsrevmeg Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 A boy from our youth group asked my husband if he could come live with us. Things in his house are not good. The parents have been saying for over a year they are going to move to Florida. Now that it is almost time for boy to graduate, they are finally packing and getting ready. None of his older siblings have graduated high school. He really wanted to be the first. He has a younger brother who has already dropped out. This is a good kid, but....... I am not sure I want an 18 year old in my house all.the.time. My husband and I have talked about leaving this church, which would mean moving (living in the pastorium). Please pray that God directs us with wisdom and we do not jump to a decision on our own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Oh my! I'm praying for God's plan for this young man. Praying for you to know God's will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I will pray for you.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Prayers... and :grouphug::grouphug: Could there be a stipulation for the 18 y.o to be helping somehow? Chores? P/T job? Rent? Or ask he begin taking cc class? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris's girl Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Prayed for you guys! Poor kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Prayers... and :grouphug::grouphug: Could there be a stipulation for the 18 y.o to be helping somehow? Chores? P/T job? Rent? Or ask he begin taking cc class? He has been putting in job applications everywhere. For some reason the school counselor put him in a program where he is supposed to school half the day and work the other half. He will not get a complete diploma if he does not have a job by graduation. He even applied to shuck oysters at the oyster house and did not get hired. There aren't jobs available around here. There is going to be a grocery store and a Walgreen's opening soon. He is hoping to get hired at one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
at the beach Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 He has been putting in job applications everywhere. For some reason the school counselor put him in a program where he is supposed to school half the day and work the other half. He will not get a complete diploma if he does not have a job by graduation. He even applied to shuck oysters at the oyster house and did not get hired. There aren't jobs available around here. There is going to be a grocery store and a Walgreen's opening soon. He is hoping to get hired at one of them. Wow, what a difficult decision you need to make. I would certainly proceed cautiously. And how unfortunate for him that he needs to find a job or won't obtain his diploma. It seems like the school should have an alternate option available for him or help him find something. Why can't volunteering half a day be counted as a job by the school? What are his career plans? You say he's a good kid. Have you had outside verification of what's going on in his life? For example, before I let someone in my home, I'd look into whether he's had any incidents in school that would indicate he's truant a lot, had juvenile criminal things, etc. I'd want to see his grades, too. How about his friends? What are they like? I would try to get some objective outside verification of what has been going on in his life. He sounds desperate, poor kid. And if he moves, he probably really will not be able to get that diploma. I might also ask his permission to speak to the guidance counselor at school to see if what he's reporting is actually the way it is or whether he has misunderstood something. I know this all sounds very defensive, what I am suggesting, but really, taking someone into your home with your children is a huge thing. If volunteering half a day won't count as a job until he finds a paying job, perhaps in exchange for room and board--if you let him stay with you--he can help out at your home. Maybe there are things you need done around your house or you can come up with things--I know I could,;) the yard, the garage, shopping, cooking, changing oil in the cars. Perhaps he needs some life skills like that anyway. Would the school count that as employment until he finds something else or in case he does not? And I, no matter what, would require that if he doesn't have an outside paying job someplace, he must find someplace to volunteer as well as help out around your house in exchange for room and board. And if he gets a paying job, then I'd have him pay rent as well as help out, too. Just some suggestions for whatever they're worth. Again, I'd just be careful to check him out completely before allowing him to stay. And set up a policy ahead of time that if things don't work out, he must leave within a set date/time. In fact, perhaps you should reduce your agreement to writing. You do not want to get in a position where you have to evict him. :001_huh: Scary, but you never know what could happen. And I am generally not such a downer about things but with this, I would be careful. If you decide you can't have him stay for whatever reason, maybe you can help him find some other options. Are there any relatives locally that he has? What about friends his age? Wishing you the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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