Impish Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Wolf's Grandpa is in the hospital. He's unable to swallow fluids without choking, not eating...He's at the end of the trail. God bless him, he's 103? Nobody's quite sure, as we know his birth cert is wrong, he's at least 2 yrs older than it states. I'd asked Wolf to go this wknd, but he refused to let me give up my birthday celebration again this year. I wish he'd listened, because now he's going to feel like total crap. I figure that Wolf will have to take tomorrow off work, and go either tonight or tomorrow. I'm just praying that he gets there in time. Grandpa's heart is simply worn out. His legs are cold all the time...and he wants to die. He's buried two wives, his only daughter, a grandson...and those are the ones I know off hand for sure. I think he's also buried at least one son. He wants to go. He's so tired. I'm praying he holds out til Wolf gets there. Wolf was just there a few weeks ago, and said then what he needed to say...But I know he'll want to rush to the hospital. He and I both have a problem with family members passing without a loved one at their side. My Nan died alone, my parents couldn't bother to do a vigil at her side. In fact, my mother was angry that they called to tell them she'd passed at 4 am...Couldn't understand why they just didn't wait til 7, "its not like we could do anything, the woman was dead! All it did was deprive your father and I of sleep, since of course he's too upset to go back to bed." I just don't want Grandpa dying alone. Hospital staff aren't family. We don't come into this world alone,there are loving arms held out to hold us from the time we draw our first breath...and I believe that's how it should be when someone is passing...loving arms should be there until their last. Of course, I'm talking of situations such as Grandpa's, when we know that the end is coming. I can't call a cab and go, because its several hours away. I wasn't sure if I should call Wolf at work, since I've never done so, and would only do it in an emergency...Like if one of the kids were hurt. I'm not 100% sure this qualifies, but I just called and left a msg for him. I figure, this way he has the option of leaving to see Grandpa today, or wait til tomorrow. If I waited til he came home, there's no way he could go tonight. Today's a maintenance day, and means he won't get home til 5 or so. No way could he hack a 2.5 hr drive, then turn around and do it again to get home, esp as he's been up since 230 am. Waiting for him to call back. He had just left to pick up soil from 12 blocks away, so it'll be a bit. I hate having to give my husband bad news, can I tell ya? Hate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnandtinagilbert Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 :grouphug: and prayers for Wolf. I hope he gets to see him. 103!? There is some serious longevity in Wolf's family....82 yo mom and Grandpa at 103! WOW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Oh honey, I'm so sorry.:grouphug::grouphug: Your thoughts on leaving this world in the company of those that love us are beautiful and I hope Wolf makes it there in time. Take care and know warm wishes and thoughts are with you and your family today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 Just got back. Wolf dropped the kids and I off, and is heading back to the hospital to sit with Grandpa. Neither of us wants him alone right now, and Wolf's uncle can't get there tonight...Wolf will pick him up in the am if Grandpa makes it through the night. Honestly, I'm not certain he will. He's got the grey colour to his face that's all too familiar to me from working palliative care. Plus, a look at his catheter bag tells me that his kidneys are shutting down...what little was there was very, very dark...another thing that palliative care made me familiar with. He was still fairly lucid though. Drifting in and out of conciousness, but when he realized we were there, he forced himself awake to talk to us, and his eyes lit up when he saw we'd brought the children. We visited twice, keeping each visit under ten minutes. Wolf's just going to sit at his bedside for a while...I suspect all night, and reminded him that there are cots and such available for him to do just that. If you wouldn't mind saying a prayer or whatever you do that Grandpa passes easily, I know Wolf would appreciate it even more than I do. He's scared, never having sat at someone's side during these moments. He's scared that he might leave at the wrong time too. I told him that his Grandpa knows his heart. Grandpa himself told us that he wouldn't be leaving the hospital, that he's tired, so tired. I pray for his sake that he passes soon. He wants to go and be done with this life. So, I sit and hold down the fort, and wait for the phone to ring. I wish so much I could be there for my husband, and for Grandpa too. I love him, both for himself, and for what he means to Wolf. He's the first person who loved Wolf just for being Wolf...the only person until I came into his life. He's as close to a Dad as Wolf's ever had. Wolf told me that he had to be there. He wasn't able to be there for his father (we found his father, only to discover he'd passed away months prior) or his mother (she passed before Wolf began looking for his bio family) so he needed to do this for Grandpa. I whole heartedly agreed with him. Just wish I could be at his side. :grouphug: and prayers for Wolf. I hope he gets to see him. 103!? There is some serious longevity in Wolf's family....82 yo mom and Grandpa at 103! WOW! His mom adopted him. His bmom died in her 40s? Something like that. She was an alcoholic and drug addict. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I'm so sorry. Typing through my tears. I am so touched by your OBVIOUS love and adoration for your husband. You're a GOOD wife. I'm so sorry for Wolf. What you shared is so touching. Having experienced this with mom recently I can tell, too, that the end is near. Be prepared, though, it could last days still. I pray for Grandpa and for Wolf that it doesn't. Sending :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: and you all are in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 Thank you, Denise. If it lasts several days, Wolf won't be able to stay with Grandpa...we simply can't afford him to miss the whole week of work, and our bank acct can't sustain having him live out for that long either. I HATE that it will be money that decides what happens. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnandtinagilbert Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I HATE that it will be money that decides what happens. :crying: me too. :grouphug: I believe God will use this to lift up your marriage even more. You are being a beautiful bride to both Wolf and God right now and I am blessed to watch you be so lovely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 :grouphug: I'm sorry you all are going through this. I'm glad his grandfather will know he has family around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 Wolf just called home again and updated. Grandpa is still hanging in there, and the hospital has moved him to a different room, one with an adjoining kitchenette and living room with a pull out couch. He's planning to spend the night there. He was thinking he might drive his uncle home and stay there, if uncle wanted to come back early in the am. However, all of uncle's family (kids, grandkids) are there, so he can get home without Wolf. I've encouraged Wolf to stay the night with Grandpa. Anyone that has experience with palliative care knows that folks seem to pass in the night more often than during the day. My heart goes out to my husband. I said to him, "You're going to stick with him til the end, right?" and he answered, "I have nobody else to 'stick with'." Poor man. His mother lives in another province, and despite repeated invitations, begging, etc, refuses to move here. Last summer, we even invited her to LIVE WITH US until she found a place of her own :eek: She jerked us around for months, first saying yes, then no, then yes again, then no again. Wolf then told me, "thats it. The offer is closed. I'm not going to put up with her pulling this every time she's bored and wants to stir things up." We know that when her time comes, the chance that we'll be able to be there is pretty slim. Its a 12 hr drive from here, and we don't always have the budget to be able to cover a trip like that. *sigh* me too. :grouphug: I believe God will use this to lift up your marriage even more. You are being a beautiful bride to both Wolf and God right now and I am blessed to watch you be so lovely. Thank you so much. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 I'm so sorry. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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