Acknowledging a gifted student?

[BillieBoy]

I’ve been lurking over on this board for a while; I’m usually on k-8 or the general forum. I’m not sure if we fit in here exactly. I was classified as a highly gifted child way, way back when. I was accelerated through all the channels, attended the “right†private boarding schools, and had to endure all the stereotyping and expectations from parents and teachers.

 

Fast forward and I see all the same cognitive skills in my dd. At age four her math concepts were exceptional, at 8 her mental math is beyond me. We have never eluded to her anything except that she is bright and capable. I have kept her, within reason, to a somewhat normal grade level, just a lot more hard core. She turned eight two weeks ago and we’ll be finishing up 3rd next month. I monitored our first at home CAT last week, without receiving the scores back and without the answer key, I know she answered every question correct and in ½ the allotted time.

 

My fear is, considering my own personal experiences with accelerated/gifted learning, if I have her IQ tested for a baseline I might subject her to higher expectations. This is all a bit confusing for me. I want to do the right thing and design her education to her potential but I also know there is a fine line where I am capable of becoming my mother. :scared: My mother, with age, has become somewhat of a comedian and finds my dilemma quite hilarious and karmic.

 

Have any of you had this kind of experience and if so what prompted you to move forward?

[nmoira]

My schooling experience was probably the opposite of yours, and I never learned to work, or fail. Subsequently learning how to deal with occasional failure has been trying to say the least, and I don't want my children to start learning at 20 as I did. We chose the middle road with DD the Elder: Don't test her, meet her where she is in every subject, let her progress at her own pace, and try to keep her reasonably challenged so that she doesn't coast effortlessly or expect perfection.

[Mere2]

I've just begun the path with my DD. I figure that it is my job to help (facilitate) her in knowing the techniques needed to learn anything that she wants to learn. As to achieving the best grades, be the highest achiever, the youngest child ever to go to uni etc- not for me or for her unless she wants it.

 

I would like her to have a good solid education so she can go and do anything that she wants to - including being a SAHM like me:001_smile:

 

I switched off at an early age and never achieved at high school what I could have (did at Uni though). My DD is also repeating history. This is not what I want and something that I am trying to figure out how to break the pattern.

 

I would go for the testing, find that baseline. You can deal with what you know (your DD ability and your own experience) but its alot harder to deal with unknowns.

 

As for mothers - yeah mine thinks she a wealth of knowledge and I say with love, she did a jolly bad job with my education, until I took over and went to Uni. However that is now to my advantage as I can apply my knowledge to my DD.

 

Good luck

[fractalgal]

I’ve been lurking over on this board for a while; I’m usually on k-8 or the general forum. I’m not sure if we fit in here exactly. I was classified as a highly gifted child way, way back when. I was accelerated through all the channels, attended the “right†private boarding schools, and had to endure all the stereotyping and expectations from parents and teachers.

 

Fast forward and I see all the same cognitive skills in my dd. At age four her math concepts were exceptional, at 8 her mental math is beyond me. We have never eluded to her anything except that she is bright and capable. I have kept her, within reason, to a somewhat normal grade level, just a lot more hard core. She turned eight two weeks ago and we’ll be finishing up 3rd next month. I monitored our first at home CAT last week, without receiving the scores back and without the answer key, I know she answered every question correct and in ½ the allotted time.

 

My fear is, considering my own personal experiences with accelerated/gifted learning, if I have her IQ tested for a baseline I might subject her to higher expectations. This is all a bit confusing for me. I want to do the right thing and design her education to her potential but I also know there is a fine line where I am capable of becoming my mother. :scared: My mother, with age, has become somewhat of a comedian and finds my dilemma quite hilarious and karmic.

 

Have any of you had this kind of experience and if so what prompted you to move forward?

 

My parents put me in "gifted" programs from early elementary school, and sent me to "gifted" camps in the summers. Otherwise, they did not push me extremely hard.

 

I had a normal high school experience I guess. I was a cheerleader and academics were not my highest priority, but I still did well in them.

 

For my own children, I do accelerate them - but I prefer to keep them closer to grade level (in some cases perhaps a grade or two ahead).

 

In math, for example, my daughter is way above grade level, but I keep her only slightly ahead and give her more but at a deeper level. For example more challenging word problems from Singapore rather than hurry and get her through the whole series.

 

My parents were more laid back with me, so that is probably why I do this with her.

 

I think it is a bit of a balancing act. I do think the giftedness needs to be acknowledged and dealt with, but never to the point where it becomes the highest priority with her.

 

Higher expectations are a good thing, but if she seems to be getting frustrated I'd back off and adjust.

 

Good luck :)

[Truscifi]

I think it is better to know what you're dealing with. And higher expectations aren't always a bad thing - if you expect her to perform below her ability level, she probably will, and she won't learn to work hard or stretch herself. That being said, it is important to remember she is still a kid, and not push too hard. As a previous poster said, it's a balancing act. And your experience as a child should help you not tip too far toward pushing her - you are not your mother!;)

[kpupg]

My schooling experience was probably the opposite of yours, and I never learned to work, or fail. Subsequently learning how to deal with occasional failure has been trying to say the least, and I don't want my children to start learning at 20 as I did. We chose the middle road with DD the Elder: Don't test her, meet her where she is in every subject, let her progress at her own pace, and try to keep her reasonably challenged so that she doesn't coast effortlessly or expect perfection.

 

:iagree:

 

FWIW, I'm older than most of the parents here. Gifted programs didn't really exist when I was a schoolchild, so I can't speak to that. Public school didn't challenge me until college -- first time I ever had to actually work -- that adjustment was a nightmare. :tongue_smilie:

 

I have two gifted teens, at opposite extremes -- one totally interested in math/science, one totally interested in arts/writing. We have chosen not to test for giftedness; if they want that kind of information, they can choose to do that as adults. We follow the children's interests/needs, along with making sure the bases get covered. Personally, I find some of the conversations I observe about testing disturbing -- some of them strike me as almost dehumanizing. Emotionally, I don't want to go there; intellectually, I don't see that that type of information would change what our family is doing. We aren't going to send them away to special programs or whatnot -- family unity is a prime value for us.

 

I know some on this forum would ask regarding choosing not to test, "how do you know they are gifted?" And my answer is "how would you not know?" Especially if you're gifted yourself -- you can just see it, can't you?

 

Meet the children at their level of understanding and interest as much as possible. Go deep in addition to going wide. Keep feeding them as much as they'll absorb. Gifted children will tug you along with them. Enjoy the ride :)

 

Just my experience FWIW,

Karen

[melmichigan]

The question becomes more involved when you look at LOG. I would recommend testing but in the sense that the results aren't going to change your daughter. But depending on her level of giftedness (LOG) it may change your approach. My oldest DD has been tested and is HG to EG. We knew she was smart but not how smart. Once I had that information and really learned more about how that affects her thought process, her emotions, and her as a person I realized that I was doing her an injustice in her education. She is still the same person but my eyes are more open to that person.

 

In retrospect I have discovered my own LOG, and my own parents denial. I wasn't recognized as gifted as a child, just very smart. Doors weren't opened that could have been and I was never challenged academically. It lead to a disasterous awakening when I reached the real world, and many poor choices on my part.

 

Understanding where she truely is has enabled me to adapt my teaching style and to seek more input from her. I don't think higher expectations are a bad thing as long as they are reasonable expectations. My DD is 9, she is doing 5th grade ELA, although her reading level/comprehension level surpasses high school. (That whole need to know basis thing comes in with ELA, and thankfully she likes non-fiction most.) We are beginning Life Science and Ancient history this fall, both at her choosing, using middle school and high school resources that are more to her level. Math is more a pre-algebra/algebra level because I am following her lead and she isn't as interested in math. I would like to think that I would have given her these options without testing but I realize now that I just didn't understand where she truely was, and she wasn't going to tell me.

 

I have no ambitions for my DD to "graduate" early or to push her beyond where she wants to go but I have decided to let her interests "run the show" a lot more so to speak. I am now, more than before, along for the ride. She may be one of those kids with 10 or 12 high school science classes under her belt before she "graduates" and if that's what she wants, great.

 

She is still a 9 year old child and that must always be kept in perspective.

Edited July 21, 2009 by melmichigan

[skaterbabs]

Dot is on task to finish CLE 100 math before Christmas, and while I know we could just move her to 200 (and we probably will do so), I was considering supplimenting CLE with Miquon to give her another way of looking at things.

 

Where would I start her, when, and how would be the best way to integrate the two programs? Most of what she's doing in CLE right now is just review, but there are just enough new skills that I'm loath to just skip over entire lightunits. She identifies the four coins & their value, counts to 100 by 1's, 10's and 5's, tells time to the hour, knows addition and subtraction facts to twelve (and is working on them to 20), undertsands place value to the tens column but struggles with the idea of only nine items in each column. We're three lessons into LU 103.

[BillieBoy]

In math, for example, my daughter is way above grade level, but I keep her only slightly ahead and give her more but at a deeper level. For example more challenging word problems from Singapore rather than hurry and get her through the whole series.

 

My parents were more laid back with me, so that is probably why I do this with her.

 

I think it is a bit of a balancing act. I do think the giftedness needs to be acknowledged and dealt with, but never to the point where it becomes the highest priority with her.

 

Higher expectations are a good thing, but if she seems to be getting frustrated I'd back off and adjust.

 

Good luck :)

 

This is what I do now w/Singapore. I make her do all of CWP and IP just because.

 

I guess it's more my mind set. I wont become my mother, I wont become my mother....... But you are right reasonable higher expectations are a good thing, lest she becomes a slacker.

[BillieBoy]

My schooling experience was probably the opposite of yours, and I never learned to work, or fail. Subsequently learning how to deal with occasional failure has been trying to say the least, and I don't want my children to start learning at 20 as I did. We chose the middle road with DD the Elder: Don't test her, meet her where she is in every subject, let her progress at her own pace, and try to keep her reasonably challenged so that she doesn't coast effortlessly or expect perfection.

 

I really have been holding her back in some things. So IYO it would be okay to let her progress as far and as fast as she can in Math but say keep my chronological history on schedule, since the do not directly relate?

[BillieBoy]

:iagree:

 

FWIW, I'm older than most of the parents here. Gifted programs didn't really exist when I was a schoolchild, so I can't speak to that. Public school didn't challenge me until college -- first time I ever had to actually work -- that adjustment was a nightmare. :tongue_smilie:

Ugh, age! I am 40 but at our family doctor's suggestion I was put through a full battery at an an insane age, 3 or 4 and was tested regularly every other year until I graduated from high school at 16 with 80 quarter credits of college. When the 300 and 400 levels at university came along and I realized I had to study; I was hit hard with a huge dose of reality. :001_huh:

 

have two gifted teens, at opposite extremes -- one totally interested in math/science, one totally interested in arts/writing. We have chosen not to test for giftedness; if they want that kind of information, they can choose to do that as adults. We follow the children's interests/needs, along with making sure the bases get covered. Personally, I find some of the conversations I observe about testing disturbing -- some of them strike me as almost dehumanizing. Emotionally, I don't want to go there; intellectually, I don't see that that type of information would change what our family is doing. We aren't going to send them away to special programs or whatnot -- family unity is a prime value for us.

I would never consider sending my pumpkin away either. I know what kind of things those girls do in boarding school! :001_unsure: But mostly because we couldn't bear being without her. :001_smile:

 

 

the children at their level of understanding and interest as much as possible. Go deep in addition to going wide. Keep feeding them as much as they'll absorb. Gifted children will tug you along with them. Enjoy the ride :)

 

Just my experience FWIW,

Karen

 

You sound like a very wise person. Thank you

[nmoira]

I really have been holding her back in some things. So IYO it would be okay to let her progress as far and as fast as she can in Math but say keep my chronological history on schedule, since the do not directly relate?

Yes, but with an eye to content and appropriate level of challenge. And even in math, you don't have to follow a straight line path from K to AP Calculus.

 

Math was and is tricky for us. I was using Singapore IP and CWP with DD the Elder (7.5), but while remaining accelerated, she wasn't getting enough new information to be engaged. She didn't complain, but she was no longer begging for math. When I decided to take a break from 4A and gave her Life of Fred: Fractions, she just took off. In a few months, she blew through the first two LoF books, supplemented with a couple units from MEP, and set theory chapters from some old algebra books we have. I have a number of pleasurable mathematical diversions (primarily from Zaccaro and Prufrock Press) lined up for the next year, with the the occasional more businesslike unit to be thrown in. In the next month or so, I'll be picking up the first year of EM from IMACS (thread here, scroll down a bit), and I am hoping that will let us put off algebra until she's ready to do an hour of math at a time.

 

In history we're moving incredibly slowly, but are enjoying it immensely. We're treating it more or less as grammar stage in terms out outputs, but are reading higher level historical novels, collections of of myths and legends, and biographies.

Edited July 23, 2009 by nmoira

[fractalgal]

This is what I do now w/Singapore. I make her do all of CWP and IP just because.

 

 

 

Yes, the stronger the base of mathematics, the taller the tower. :)