Need Perfectionism Recources

[Beth in OH]

Hi--

 

I have a 14 yo dd who would benefit from understanding her perfectionistic tendencies and learning coping skills. Do you know of any resources that might help? I am also interested in books that might be too much for her, but could help me guide her.

 

Thanks,

Beth

[RegGuheert]

I'm sorry, but I don't have a direct answer regarding resources for coping with perfectionism. I would just like to make a couple of observations.

 

I work in an industry that is dominated by perfectionists, so I must say that I do not consider it an affliction of any sorts. Without perfectionists, I'm pretty sure that some aspects of modern life would grind to a halt.

 

That said, as a perfectionist, I recognize that there are characteristics that need to be recognized and understood, both by the perfectionist and by those with whom the perfectionist interacts. Here are a few traits that I think accommodate perfectionism:

 

- Intolerance of others' lack of perfectionism

- Procrastination

- Irritability related to the inability to "perfect" something

 

I'm sure there are many other traits or sub-traits of the above, but these are the most obvious ones to me.

 

IMO, there is a rather large contingent of perfectionists posting right here on this board! If we could manage to be honest with ourselves, I'm betting we could have a pretty interesting conversation about what it means to be a perfectionist! :D

[nmoira]

Here are some links at Hoagie's Gifted. I also highly recommend Carol Dweck's Mindset.

[Beth in OH]

I work in an industry that is dominated by perfectionists, so I must say that I do not consider it an affliction of any sorts. Without perfectionists, I'm pretty sure that some aspects of modern life would grind to a halt.

 

That said, as a perfectionist, I recognize that there are characteristics that need to be recognized and understood, both by the perfectionist and by those with whom the perfectionist interacts. :D

 

You make a good point--perfectionism can certainly further both productivity and excellence! I'm concerned about the other edge of that sword. I'm dealing with perfectionism coupled with normal adolescent insecurity, and it is beginning to skew dd's perception of herself. "If I'm not perfect, the best, [insert other superlatives here], then I must not be any good at all."

 

I'm trying to help dd gain a healthier perspective.

 

Thanks for your thoughts!

 

Beth

[Beth in OH]

Here are some links at Hoagie's Gifted. I also highly recommend Carol Dweck's Mindset.

 

I'm off to check these out. Thanks!

 

Beth

[Caraway]

You might also be interested in The Artist's Way. Although meant to help "blocked" artists, it talks a lot about overcoming the perfectionism that is standing in your way of moving forward.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-Spiritual-Creativity-Anniversary/dp/1585421464/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_1

 

(Note that this book may have some views regarding spirituality that may not align with the readers.)

[Beth in OH]

You might also be interested in The Artist's Way. Although meant to help "blocked" artists, it talks a lot about overcoming the perfectionism that is standing in your way of moving forward.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-Spiritual-Creativity-Anniversary/dp/1585421464/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_1

 

(Note that this book may have some views regarding spirituality that may not align with the readers.)

 

Dd's a musician, and this is the area in which she's really struggling right now. This book sounds like it might have some great insights! We'll substitute our own flavor of spirituality, if necessary. ;)

 

Beth