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Posts posted by sassenach

  1. In the last month DH has stocked up on disaster food, ammo, water, and cash. I think it's all a bit dramatic but I see he's not alone. 

    I really have no clue. Maybe it'll be like 2000? If one party wins we'll have riots, for sure (which is not a credit to the rioting party). 

    • Like 1
  2. 21 hours ago, kokotg said:

    So fun fact which is totally unrelated to covid: DH's cousin is the Red Sox GM. DH jokingly texted him after the NLCS to say he really wished they'd hung onto Mookie Betts for another year. He has not heard back. I told him, "you were just kidding around, but this is Boston. They take this stuff seriously. He might be getting daily death threats already." 

    Half of my family is from Fall River so I completely get this. We love Mookie. Also, that's pretty cool! 

    • Like 2
  3. 27 minutes ago, kokotg said:

    The MLB absolutely is not a friend of players. But has anyone with the Dodgers denied that he was told not to come out? I imagine the "you must isolate if you get a positive test" rule is pretty clear cut at any rate. (I was in bed by Manfred time; I was following it on twitter but didn't see it)

    I haven't heard. I'm sure that there will be a lot more coming out about this in the coming days. I may still eat my words!

  4. 19 minutes ago, kokotg said:



    Whatever you think about whether he should have been allowed on the field, he wasn't: he made a very clear decision to violate the rules that everyone had agreed upon and that were there to protect everyone's safety. He also should certainly have realized that his actions would become the story and detract from an uncomplicated celebration of victory for the Dodgers (who, as I've noted, seem like nice fellows and deserved this after "losing" to the Astros a couple of of years ago).

    (This is full bias mode) I DO NOT trust the MLB. They are all about optics and I do not believe that this is the way it happened just because they say so. They will need to show me proof of this interaction in order for me to believe it. I fully believe that they will throw any player under the bus in order to preserve their reputation. 100%


    In other comments, did you notice how absolutely drunk Manfred was? Like fully slurring. I thought he was having a stroke for a second.

  5. 6 minutes ago, kokotg said:

    Well, and I'm a Braves fan, and Turner stuck his foot out and then claimed he was hit by a pitch in the NLCS 😂 ...but I stand by what I said: yes, it's SAD to miss the fun celebration when your team wins the World Series. It's also sad to have to reschedule your wedding or to not be able to have a funeral for a loved one who died during the pandemic or to be a kid who missed a whole baseball season because of it. Lots of things are SAD; it was totally tone deaf at best to be out there after being asked not to when so many people have given up so much and when lots of people threw a whole lot of time and money and effort and resources into making sure he got to play baseball at all this year. 

    LOL stuck his foot out. That's his wind up. He was legit hit by that pitch.

    I also stand by what I said. I don't think he put anyone in danger with his actions last night. I think it's an over-hyped reaction based on everyone's feelings of hysteria about Covid rather than the actual calculation of risk of what he did. 

  6. We are a Dodger's family, so there's my upfront confession of bias.

    He did not hug his teammates. He did not come out for the big celebration. 

    He did kiss his wife. That's their choice to make.

    He did take his mask off while taking a distanced picture with the trophy. I don't see a problem with that.

    He did take his mask off momentarily for the team picture. If you watch the video of this moment, you will see that he was sitting in front, very stationary, with his mask on until the moment they shot the photo and then he put his mask back on. Dave Roberts (the manager) sat down after Justin was already in place. Dave sat a little too close for my comfort but that was his decision to make. 

    We were so sad that he missed the celebratory moment with his team. He's such a classy, good guy. He so deserved that moment. I was very happy to see him at least get to hold the trophy and take the team photo. I truly don't believe that he put anyone in danger by those 2 acts. These were people that he had already been up close and personal with for weeks. Sixty seconds of sitting stationary, outside, not talking, did not put any of those players at greater risk than they were an hour earlier in the dugout. 

    • Like 1
  7. 23 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

    I’m going to sound like THE most clueless SN mom in the world, but I don’t even know what services are available. We’ve always just managed  with me at home and, well, the kids grew up SO fast. Ours is not a diagnosis where you have to plan for care when the parents die of old age, so we’ve been DIYing it all along. 

    Firstly, I absolutely understand your position. When your full energy is going into caring for the child, there is not a whole lot left to navigate the maze of government benefits.

    Here's what's available where I am:

    SSI: Incredible pain in the arse to set up but from the sound of it, I imagine your ds qualifies. This income helped us to offset the cost of a desperately needed wheelchair van

    Respite: for us this comes from our state disability department and we can either hire someone through the agency or hire an over 18yo of our choice. Siblings can be hired through this. We've used this to have our older girls come up and stay with ds while dh and I leave town for a night or 2. The income offsets their travel expenses and time off work. We don't use it often but it's nice to be able to help the girls break even when they're so generous to their brother and dh and I.

    Home modifications: Same agency as the respite above covered the cost of installing a ramp and ceiling lift system in our home. Also helped us buy our van.

    State Medicaid: This pays for the plethora of items not covered by our health insurance and Ds's home care nurse

    School/intervention services: We have this until he turns 22. This covers day school and therapies.

    Getting each of these set up has required a burst of energy from me but I'm always glad I've gone through it all once it's over with. 

    • Like 2
  8. 3 minutes ago, bethben said:

    I still have a 13 year old, so I’m not quite an empty nested but I have friends who are.  Their kids are going to college, getting married, or if still living at home, are fully independent.  They have been free to go somewhere for a weekend “just because” or pursue new avenues of career or just things that they have wanted to do for years but haven’t been able to do so because of raising children.  My oldest turning 21 in age only has actually been the hardest part of what I’m missing out on.  I was never phased by him missing other milestones such as driving or truly graduating from junior high/high school.  Now, just seeing my friends move on with their lives without having constant responsibility for another person is getting to me.  

    My dh is getting discouraged because he is still working from home.  He is tired of not having the group comradery he does at work or the occasional pat on the back so to say.  I try to explain that I get very little accolades beyond a doctor telling me what great care I am giving to my son.  I have no co-workers who see me as just me.  My dh is great.  He just doesn’t understand how stuck I feel.  This Covid thing has really twisted up my emotions.  It’s getting harder to stay positive.  My life really hasn’t changed that much in the day to day.  It has just emphasized my restlessness.  I realized this past summer that gardening and growing food brought me real joy so I started that up again despite weather that makes gardening really difficult in my state ( and my pretty minuscule yard).    I am just admitting to myself that I want more than what I’ve done for over 20 years and maybe also mourning that I may not get it while trying to figure out how to thrive in the situation I still find myself in.  

    This is all super relatable. (((HUGS)))

  9. I also have a 20yo disabled child. Have you explored home care? I know this is highly dependent on what your state offers but I learned that ds actually qualified for completely free home care. He had probably qualified for a full decade before I came to that knowledge, and I consider myself to be pretty aware of the services available. Somehow, I had just never connected with the right people. Hint: the right people are the home care agencies- if there is a funding source, they know about it. I also had not wanted home care up until that point (about 3 years ago). The thought of having someone in our home just felt too different and exposed. However, I went back to school to pursue a career in nursing but Dh and I had been doing a high wire balancing act trading off Ds's care. We were just getting to the point that it was becoming harder to not completely wear out dh and it all came together at just the right moment. 

    I would suggest looking at what is available with fresh eyes. You may have more possibilities than it looks like right now.

    • Like 5
  10. 2 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

    No, I can't make her care about MY desires, but I carefully design the curriculum so she does care 😉 . That's how it's chosen, and she's a relatively easy kid to please, anyway, as long as it's not boring. (Which is why she doesn't do copywork, or dictation, or pages and pages of arithmetic -- all boring.) 


    Ok, so help me out. Did I misread something? Wasn't one of your challenges with her that she isn't engaging with the curriculum the way you want? That she's getting sloppy and not trying (jam jar)? So what I'm saying is that you can't control her reaction to your curriculum, even if you have created it with her in mind. Even if it's custom to her likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, you cannot, and I would say SHOULD NOT, look to her reaction as something she owes you. If she's sloppy, it's not because she's willfully coming up against your carefully designed curriculum. It's because she's a human and sometimes we're just not feeling it. The more you personalize her engagement with the curriculum, the worse it will be for your relationship, and ultimately for her learning. Let her have a bad day (or week). Ask her what she needs. Do not make learning a battle ground. She's a bright kid, which means that you can take your foot off the gas a little in that area if it means that you're nourishing the relationship. 

    • Like 14
  11. 2 hours ago, Not_a_Number said:

    Yeah, we've tried consequences, and frankly they were the thing that worked last time I needed her to remember to do something, which was to put dishes in the sink. I nagged and nagged and nagged and it did NOTHING, zip, zero, until I started taking away a quarter every time the dishes didn't make it to the sink. The dishes started magically making it to the sink in a week, and I don't remember the last time I had to take a quarter away. 

    But it's all too complicated to figure out the correct consequences for this kind of generic attitude. I've tried taking away quarters again, since it had worked so well last time, but it doesn't quite work. I've tried assigning extra work, but she's just sulky and uncooperative about it. Maybe I do need a bigger consequence, lol, or at least one that makes more of an impression. Or one that's more suited to the issue... 

    Ooh, don't do that.

    So here's the thing- you can't make her care about your carefully designed curriculum. Actually, the big lesson of parenting is you can't make them care about anything. You need to decide what is a reasonable amount of progress (and since you have a precocious child, be sure to double check whether it's reasonable against a typical 8yo), and let the rest go.

    I agree that hair brushing is reasonable. So if she's literally just digging in and refusing to obey a very simple standard of hygiene, then maybe you go to battle. But I'll tell you, from here until you are done parenting, half the work is going to be self-reflecting on what hills are worth dying on. The longer I do this, the less hills I deem worthy. If it were me, I'd sit down and say, "Kid, what's going on with you and the hair brushing thing? Does the brush hurt your head? Is there a reason you're avoiding it?" If they literally have no reason other than not wanting to, then I would say "well, it's a daily habit that you need to do." [If they have a reason, address that reason.] "I would like you to have your hair brushed before breakfast. Can you agree to that?" [kid says no, that's dumb, blah blah] "Ok then what time will you agree to have it done by?" [I bet money that they say lunch] "great! Then we agree you'll have your hair brushed before lunch." 

    And then after that I would not be shocked if I had to remind them every single day, because that's how kids are. I have made peace with reminding. I don't mind that so much. I'm not ok with outright defiance. Some parents want the kids to not need reminders and that's just not my reality. I don't fuss much over reminders or delays. If I ask a kid to take the trash out and they do it an hour later, that's fine. 

    OK, so back to school, I just think you need to lower your expectations. Sometimes a kid will do sloppy work. Sometimes they will sulk. We can't control how they feel about schoolwork. Heck, I'm in school right now and sometimes I pout and whine straight through an assignment. I can't imagine if my professor was watching me complete my work! 

    Maybe she's tired of the corona life? Does she have regular social activities anymore? Does she have things to look forward to in her week? At this age I had my kids in activities with other kids 5 days a week. My favorite was swim team because it physically exhausted them and had a strong social component. That's a tough one right now. 

    • Like 8
  12. 3 minutes ago, Pam in CT said:

    what does "worse" mean

    Yeah, this is essentially what I was trying to get at in the beginning of the thread about where the hot spots are in geography and in time.

    It's hard to feel it fully when it's other areas that are being hit -- to some people the risk feels remote and the magnitude maybe exaggerated; to others it feels like an outright "hoax."

    It feels "worse" when it's hitting close to home.


    My own area was among the hard-hit in the early weeks, and at the time it was pretty disheartening, how dismissive other regions of the country were.  These days my area is (compared to then) much "better"... but we definitely remember what "worse" looks like.

    Perhaps the silver lining is, once every pocket in the country lives with "worse" for a while, we'll manage to move the mark a bit on consensus around comparatively easy/ low-cost measures like masking and distancing. 

    Yes totally.

    And I was even specifically speaking to doctors seeing worse cases. I bet they are. If you have 5 people in your ICU, you’ll have 1 on a vent, a few on heavy support, and maybe one with DM who is there as a precaution. If you have 20 ICU patients, you’ll have 5 on vents (using my ratio), 15 with heavy support that you’re trying to keep off vents and those “precaution” patients won’t be sent to ICU. It’s going to feel like the virus is worse but it’s the total numbers that are worse. 

    I do feel for those areas that got it later. Even now I have sympathy for them but I mostly care about what’s happening in my area. I would be pissed if they put us on more severe restrictions because Wisconsin is having a surge. I do think that when areas got locked down while they had no cases, it contributed to the overall fatigue and angst. 


    • Like 3
  13. On 10/18/2020 at 11:02 PM, Ordinary Shoes said:

    A friend recommended this podcast and I've been slowly making my way through it. Man, it's depressing! 

    Everything is bad

    I'm generally not optimistic about the future. About a year ago, I began a thread on general education forum about homeschooling without optimism for the future. Americans are generally optimistic about the future. I think many Americans are incredibly naive about the effects of climate change. Now we have the COVID pandemic. 

    I think it's bad. I struggle with thinking it's that bad. But am I naive? Am I succumbing to clueless American optimism? Is it my middle class Christian upbringing that makes me believe that Jesus will come riding in on His white horse and save the day for me and mine? Is it my middle class, everything will be just fine, optimism that makes me believe that some magical new technology will be developed and it <presto> ends global warming. 

    I look at my kid and I think worry so much about her future. I worry about profound evil that could (and likely will) be done in her name in a future with less resources. 

    How optimistic are you about the future? How do you think our children will be affected by climate change? 

    As a Christian, it's never been my understanding that things will trend up. I believe we're told the opposite, that it'll get harder and harder and that we will suffer. 

    So maybe it's the middle class (American) part that sells us that line?

    My hope is not in things going well in this life. But I still have a lot of joy, even through the hard stuff. And that's a grace.

    • Like 8
  14. 12 hours ago, Frances said:

    Not in WI where my mom lives. Many hospitals there are at capacity. In my state deaths are still pretty steady, really no decrease, so it doesn’t seem less severe in that sense. I do think they have made progress on treatments, but lots of people are still dying every day in the US. I know one of the doctors on these boards actually treating patients didn’t agree recently with the idea that illnesses were less severe now. 

    My armchair theory is that when people say the severity is getting worse, what they're really seeing is increased spread is leading to a higher number of severe cases. I don't think what's happening in Wisconsin is a more virulent virus than what they had before (or than what NY and CA had) it's just that the numbers are reaching critical mass for the first time. This pattern seems to be the same- it's just all about the timing of when the virus seeds in the area and finally hits that threshold where community spread picks up speed (exponential). That's when the virus is perceived as worse than before but really it's just the sample size is allowing for more severe cases, more outliers, and overrun hospitals (which is also a factor in more deaths).


    • Like 6
  15. 23 hours ago, PeterPan said:

    I don't keep a running list of your posts/opinions, lol. What's wild to me is that people in CA seem so FAVORABLE of his approach. I read these Disney blogs, etc. and they just seem to totally drink the koolaid. I had a trip planned to there for next year that is getting killed by his insanity. Total bummer, as it would have been great. 

    Depends on who you ask and which county you're in. Most people around here are fine with mask mandates but pretty fed up with seeing business shuttered. Even his supporters are pretty tired of how he keeps moving the goal posts.  

  16. 20 hours ago, mommyoffive said:

    How is the state of Colorado doing?  Wasn't there a huge spike over summer?

    People in Florida, Arizona, and California how is it going?

    Much improved in Ca. New cases are flat, hovering around 3k a day, which is where we were in early June for a very short time before we spiked to 10-12k a day. Deaths are trending down and sitting in the 60's, which is also where we were in June. 

    My county looks good. Really, outside of the prison outbreak and some serious nursing home outbreaks, our community spread has been good all along. 

    • Like 2
  17. My personal behavior would stay close to what it is but my desire for my state would be to open up. We've been floating on fake money and it's drying up. I would want our economy and schools to open. Five years is too long to do this. We would have a generation of seriously under-educated kids.

    I'm in CA. We're still living with pretty heavy restrictions. Tons, TONS of businesses are closing. The economic consequences are just starting to be unveiled. It's going to be bad. The academic/mental health consequences are already becoming quite evident. If we did this for 5 years, I don't even know what we'd have left.

    • Like 2
    • Sad 2
  18. 25 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

    Not really....people in their homes may turn off the AC ...honestly often only for part of the day, but it will still be on in regular businesses, schools, etc. Or the heat will. Most of us have centra AC set to "auto" and it will just switch back and froth from heat to air and back again, lol. 

    We are used to a very narrow temperature range.. so for many that means the heat on first thing in the morning, then open windows, then a/c on in the afternoon. (Ok, so maybe only us natives use the heat in the morning, lol....I don't do cold well)

    Lol, about the temp range. I was just talking with someone about the pool we had when we lived in Florida and I said something about our solar heating and she looked at me funny and was like, “why would you need to heat the pool in that weather?” And all I could do was shrug and say, “we were pretty cold sensitive when we lived there.” 

    • Haha 1
  19. 4 hours ago, Quill said:

    I like that you do election news blackout. Wish the US would be smart like that. I’m so nervous on what might happen on/shortly after election day here, it knots my stomach if I think about it too much. I think it would be good if we had a blackout of X number of hours, maybe even 24 hours. 

    Im sure that would never happen here; people would just use SM to try to disseminate election news. 

    I could go for a blackout starting now. 

    • Like 6
    • Thanks 1
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