Lawyer&Mom
-
Posts
2,190 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Blogs
Classifieds
Store
Posts posted by Lawyer&Mom
-
-
I had so many peers in law school who went to teeny-tiny regional no name schools. They had all sorts of awards and recommendations and stellar GPAs. Big fish small pond is certainly a viable path. My only concern is the bright kid who inadvertently struggles in a small pond. As an undiagnosed Autistic kid I had some major bumps in my undergraduate career, and I think the UC Berkeley name did me some real favors when it was time to apply for grad school. Just something to think about: Would the school still work if your kid somehow ends up in the bottom of the class?
-
Dd7 was six weeks premature. I had to pump, not only because she wasn’t able to nurse at first, but because we added formula to the pumped milk to give her extra calories. She spent 16 days in the NICU, but once she was home and had put on enough weight, we switched fairly painlessly to full time nursing. She’s had no lingering issues from her premature birth, I hope your little guy has an equally uneventful post-NICU experience.
-
1
-
-
Dd7 was six weeks premature. I had to pump, not only because she wasn’t able to nurse at first, but because we added formula to the pumped milk to give her extra calories. She spent 16 days in the NICU, but once she was home and had put on enough weight, we switched fairly painlessly to full time nursing. She’s had no lingering issues from her premature birth, I hope your little guy has an equally uneventful post-NICU experience.
-
1
-
-
On 1/31/2023 at 1:19 PM, ScoutTN said:
Ian Andrews at Center for Lit. He is the “expert” when Close Reads does Tolkien.
He just sent a very nice response!
-
4
-
-
I remember in college “common culture” being defined as “being able to predict what another person is going to do in any situation.” Who you share a common culture with is really situational. I remember when I was in grad school in London I had a classmate who grew up in rural Mississippi. Not someone I, who grew up in coastal California, would usually think I had a lot in common with. But in London we were very much both Americans.
When I’m in the US and I think of my cultural identity it’s easy and tempting to look to geography, religion and ethnicity. But I think this is misleading. While I am absolutely influenced by my Midwest Irish Catholic roots, I think if you want to predict how I’m going to react to any situation, class and education is far more relevant. The food I eat, the clothes I wear, the books I read, the way I vote is almost entirely the same as all the other upper-middle class post-graduate professionals in the United States, regardless of geography, religion or ethnicity. I remember someone saying once that there is an “Arugula Belt” located in every US city, and I think it’s true. We are a small nation scattered across the country and the Whole Foods is our embassy. Our New Yorker subscription is our passport.
We send our kids to our Parish school and we try to cultivate a Catholic identity, but if I’m being honest I have more in common with the doctors and lawyers who send their kids to the public school down the block than I do with the Catholic parents at our school who are electricians or police officers. They are fine people, but they aren’t *my* people. I’m sure religion was defining for prior generations of my family, but it doesn’t hold that same power for me today
If you are trying to figure out who *your* people are, try to figure out which aspects of your identity are most predictive of how you actually behave in 2023. The first labels that come to mind might not hold the predictive power that they did for prior generations.
-
10
-
-
4 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:
I’m going to have to see. I keep seeing the dangers of transverse (not breech) so I’m kinda scared to wait.
Okay, I can totally argue the other side too! A c-section is not a failure! A scheduled section would reduce your stress! You can have it first thing in the morning, instead of the middle of the night! You can make plans for your other kids!
-
6
-
-
As someone who had an emergency c-section for a preterm breech baby, they are totally available unscheduled! I agree with the wait and see what he does on the day idea.
-
1
-
-
We have a ton in our neighborhood. Some stale genre paperbacks from the 1990s, but we’ve found lots of good kids books. The good stuff goes fast. I’ve donated too, but most of our discarded books end up at Goodwill. I don’t see a downside to LFLs. They are only adding to the book ecosystem, not replacing bookstores, libraries etc.
-
3
-
-
Oooh! Just received a lovely response from an archivist at the Wade Center. You guys made the best suggestions!
-
2
-
1
-
-
Huge shout out to Maize for her thoughtful and insightful answers to Dd’s questions! I *love* the Hive!
I’ll let you guys know if anyone else gets back to us, but we are thrilled to have Maize’s response!
-
10
-
1
-
-
7 minutes ago, barnwife said:
I just can't fathom why any reasonably well-educated about dental hygiene person would use the bathroom in the morning and not brush their teeth. It literally takes 2 minutes. And, I am going to stand by my opinion that even if an individual's mouth doesn't feel nasty to them, it is. And if you will be around other people at all, it's rude to force that on them.
You are going to *hate* how often I shower and how I stopped wearing deodorant after my pregnancies!
These choices are really individual. And yes I’m around other people, people who would say something if there was an issue.
-
3
-
-
On 1/31/2023 at 1:31 PM, maize said:
I qualify as "someone who has read everything Tolkien ever wrote" plus multiple biographies and who has Lord of the Rings at least halfway memorized, so if you don't find someone more official let me know; I'm sure I could answer third grade questions.
I tried to message you but you can’t receive messages. We may need your services after all!
-
3 hours ago, Pawz4me said:
But nobody is saying there is no need to brush at all in the morning, are they? The debate is if it’s necessary to do it the second one gets out of bed.
I don’t brush in the morning. And it doesn’t feel gross. I’m not recommending my choice, but it works for me.
-
2
-
-
As a kid I was taught twice a day and did that religiously. In the last couple years I’ve dropped the AM brushing. Dentist still gives me rave reviews. I still make the kids brush twice a day. I think it’s a sensory thing for me. I stopped using toothpaste and just use olive oil soap which barely has any taste at all.
-
1
-
-
I have hEDS and most yoga hurts me. My wrist and shoulder joints just aren’t supposed to support my body weight. COVID absolutely exacerbated my hEDS. I find slow and steady walking to work well for me. Start small. Really small. Maybe walk for 5 minutes. Only walk every other day. See how you feel. Add a minute if you are up for it.
-
1
-
-
26 minutes ago, stephanier.1765 said:
Do you mind posting who you eventually find, even without names, because I might die of curiosity if you don't. LOL
Will do!
-
1
-
-
How would you feel about him attending Northeastern in the US? I’m not really familiar with the school, but if the US has a reasonable reputation I would think the UK branch would be okay too.
-
1
-
-
Okay, the link to The Tolkien Professor led me to Signum University. They have a lot of instructors who teach their MA in Tolkien Studies. Just sent them an email, fingers crossed!
-
4
-
-
Bud, Not Buddy by Christopher Paul Curtis
-
1
-
-
One thing that is hard is that my mom *was* aware of intergenerational trauma. She thought she was the one who would break the cycle. She went to therapy, she raised us in a radically more loving and stable household than the one she was raised in. And she was *still* emotionally abusive. It isn’t a one generation problem, and it isn’t a one generation fix. My job is to take the yardage my mom worked *so* hard for and advance the ball with my own kids. And accept that they will someday probably have issues with me….
-
6
-
1
-
3
-
-
Encanto was a horror movie for me. My mom was a covert narcissist, like the Grandma in the movie, bad enough to be scary and do real harm, but just safe enough you could still see all her positive traits. I know narcissists can be much worse, but Encanto was a punch to the gut. Way too relatable.
The one year anniversary of my mom’s death is this month. I miss her, but more than anything her death was a gift. I can (mostly) stop worrying about her all the time, which is so freeing. I’d love to still have her without her trauma, but that was never an option.
I found therapy in my forties, the year or so before her death, to be amazingly helpful. I had done therapy before, but having a husband and kids of my own gave me the distance and insight to really dive into my relationship with my mom. I realize now that I couldn’t have dealt with that stuff any earlier even if I had wanted to. There is a real timing to how we can unravel our own issues. You are ready when you are ready. I think you can choose to engage with your issues when they appear, instead of avoiding them, but you can’t really control when certain issues emerge in your life. Letting go of control has been the big lesson for me.
-
8
-
-
1 hour ago, Junie said:
You could also maybe open up your options if you considered high school English teachers to be experts. For this assignment, it is possible that someone who teaches British Lit on the high school level would be considered expert enough.
I would 100% be okay with High School teachers! That’s a great idea.
-
1
-
-
Thank you all for these great leads!
-
Dd9 needs to interview an expert for her third grade research project. She has chosen JRR Tolkien as her subject, and drafted 10 straightforward written questions. Now we just need to find an expert. I was hoping we could use the professor at a local college that teaches a course on Tolkien, but so far that isn’t panning out. Help me Hive! Where are our Tolkien experts? A professor would be amazing. A mere grad student would be great. Your dad who knows everything about everything Tolkien ever wrote would probably work! (My own dad would qualify, except they aren’t supposed to interview relatives…) This is just third grade, the term “expert” can be interpreted *broadly.* I thank you all for your ideas, she and I are both Autistic and reaching out to people is just *so* stressful.
Question about being a bigger fish at a smaller school
in The College Board
Posted
That’s what I meant. Just something to ponder. And if that’s not something to worry about, that’s great.