I hope I’m not delusional but I’ve pulled it off before* so I feel hopeful that I can find some landlord that will accept a letter from the employer as proof of job. And I am willing to show stubs from my cashiers’ checks that I get printed weekly for my current landlord. The memo always says rent and has my name, landlord’s name and date. They could speak to my landlords (current & former) but the stubs are more concrete evidence. And I still have a good credit score. So I’d rather push forward to move in early Nov if possible. A guy friend offered to drive there at night with me next week so we can look at these places after dark as they may have a different vibe at night. *well not this exact scenario but we got someone to rent to us when xh only had an unpaid practicum and we had student loan money

I don’t even know how to ask this. But do I sound crazy for wanting to move into a place in Nov? My dad is like what if they turn around and say hiring freeze and you’ve just signed a lease? I think he’s being paranoid. I do not have a start date but I’d rather be moving my items in early Nov than late Nov even if the job might not actually start til a few weeks from now (that’s after the drug test and background check clear). I do not want to be moving at Thanksgiving! I want to be settled.

But not at xh’s library system which makes up most of the libraries by the kids

Ohh true

I did 🙂 they Cc’d a couple people

I pulled up my old spreadsheet with expenses and modified it with guesses. About 36% of income on rent, higher ins (auto and renter’s will probably go up in the city), a min payment of $50/month on the cc balance etc. I can do it but it will be hard to build up an auto fund, savings etc. One step at a time, though!

When we dated xh would let me drag him to NOLA. Night life stuff. After we got married he said I’m never going back, it’s too dangerous. So I wrote off NOLA for many years. I do acknowledge it’s dangerous but I’m more comfortable there now after going to several shows/events this past year, using Lyfts and parking garages, traveling with friends. He also likes to ignore or dismiss my time as a librarian. Kinda got the kids to as well. So this is all a bit amusing to me. No, my title isn’t librarian but I’m back at a library. And it sounds like essentially the same type of duties. ——— Mathematically speaking I’m looking at spending at least 35% of income on rent. I’ll make it work. I really want a 2 bedroom.

Thank you, everyone *changes dating profile to NOLA* 🤣🙃 It’s been such a rollercoaster. I hope I can move soon as the new roommate wants to move in asap (she requested Oct 23 but they may stall her til Nov). I don’t think I can handle the old room. I went in there today and literally beads of sweat started dripping off me. I will try to go look at homes in person soon but not holding my breath for “move in whenever” (as opposed to beginning/end of month) or month to month. It was suggested to me to just do month to month to start by a friend that lived there a long time ago but I don’t think I’ll have the luxury nor the time to fool with moving twice in one city in a short time. I would like to be settled before the holidays if possible (Thanksgiving). Each move probably means deposits. I’ve been learning about attachment styles and working toward secure. I found a great YouTuber. Hoping I make a new circle of friends soon because I really need some people I can hang out with easily.

You and me both!! 🤣🤣🤣 will a landlord accept a written job offer or something from the employer and cash/check in lieu of pay stubs in the beginning?? Might get lucky and find one that would. I don’t want to be stuck paying rental all of Nov here if the job potentially begins in a few weeks.

Yup! My concern is Fridays will be weird like would I get dd at 6 pm or what? We’d have to pick a time where both adults could meet. And I guess I’d return her around 6 pm on Sun as usual. But any typical job would make Fridays awkward as picking her up after school wouldn’t be practical anymore.

It’s 1.5 hours roughly. If xh met me halfway I’d still drive 1.5 hours, though (home to midway point to get kids; back to home). So at least it’s significantly closer than the 4hr distance. I had not considered getting an MLS but who knows, might consider one day. This job will pay more than my last but the rent might offset any increase in earnings. I’m seeking a 2 bedroom.

They don’t know start date yet. Background check & drug test will be scheduled first. I went back to the dr and they gave me exercises to do for my back. I think I might be recovering from a muscle issue plus the UTI. I just want to feel normal again. I already contacted my lawyer to give him a heads up about the job/upcoming visitation changes.

I’m afraid it will likely be based on crime rates. I’ve been told West side is safer but I’ll primarily work on East.

Ok I formally accepted the offer — and slowly reread the email where it says you’ll be training at several branches the first year. So that doesn’t really help me narrow down where to live lol I’ll be looking online at potential places. And may drive to NO soon to visit them in person and possible go to Oktoberfest with my friend. She says it’s going on several weekends.

Thank you. I kinda need to hear this. I’m a mess. Stressed on how visitation will work but on the plus side maybe the kids will enjoy visiting NO. And I’ll be able to attend concerts/go dancing without it being such a huge ordeal to plan.

I just got offered a job (via email). It’s the library job in New Orleans (didn’t say which branch). I think I need to just accept it. It will be a commute when I meet the kids, but I’ll have steady income, a fairly low-stress job, ability to sit a lot, retirement plan and other benefits.

I did look for other options online, but only ones that would save me money. My landlady admitted she originally charged less but went up to par with others in the area. I just feel like I’m being taken advantage of — as much as I pay keep your mouth shut about me doing laundry etc. The cats are fighting on the regular under the door. They slide my door snake away and growl, paw and hiss at one another. There’s nothing really affordable that wouldn’t require a lease agreement.

And nevermind the cramped pantry/fridge/freezer situation. Where will we store our stuff?

My landlords want to rent out another room. They eliminated the guy with the dog already but asked how I felt about a woman moving in that would hardly be here and share a bathroom with her. I don’t feel like it’s my place to try to stop this. They obviously need the money. But I’m ready to go and just trying to figure it all out. I’ll have to select the larger room with the majority of my belongings (landlady said I have a “lot of stuff” and I don’t know if that’s accurate) or try to cram it in the room that’s cooler. The outside temp is getting cooler and they said they ran the heater recently but might have been when I was out of town. So I would probably try to make due with the larger room. My cat likes the bigger room better and they said if I leave town again please move her in there — which means moving the litter box that I can’t even lift right now. This is just new stress I have to navigate. Occasionally my landlady will drop rude comments (said I dressed like I was 12 when I went out one night) or outwardly make observations I’m not comfortable with (you do a lot of laundry, huh? Like a couple times a week. I do mine like once a month). Their washer is messing up again so I did laundry at my dad’s the other night. There’s a roof leak in the bathroom they haven’t fixed yet because they were unhappy with the quote they got. So when it rains there’s a puddle on the toilet lid and nearby floor. I’m getting antsy to get out.

Yeah no refunds — that money went to the place that makes the insoles. I can send $320 and they’ll waive the shipping fee to mail them to me. I don’t want to drive 8 hrs round trip to get them trimmed. I’ll leave them at the office indefinitely. Maybe once I get a job I’ll pay for them. I applied to a job last night that I applied to before I had a local address (back in Jan). They reposted it. Maybe they will interview me this time?

Called BCBS to follow up with the letter of appeal. BCBS is insisting that my phone call discussed "orthotics" but not "supportive devices for the feet." Oh my gosh, they're the worst. I thought they were the same d@mn thing obviously. I said I wish you had a transcript of that phone call in front of you because surely I mentioned feet or podiatrist somewhere in that call. She said that the phone call saying they would cover something doesn't guarantee coverage, anyway (then why are we reviewing the phone call??). They said they formally denied the claim end of Sept but I don't have a letter in my PO Box and they said they had another address on file but wouldn't reveal to me what it was. I said can I update it and they said no, it was submitted by your employer. I bet it was my old PO Box. But anyhoo... don't have that ins plan anymore so probably won't get any more mail from them. Ugh so I guess I'm out money for the cast that was made and the down payment?? I doubt the podiatrist office will reimburse me anything.

Not too much to report. I had a zoom interview with the car rental place. You must stay in sales a min of 6 months (if you become a branch manager you can pivot to other roles). They do a 3-step interview process. I don’t even want that job. They seem fixated on sales numbers and asked how competitive I was. Ugh. I reached out to the library today but don’t know if they’ve made any progress. And that trip to/from Louisiana took half a tank of gas. Not ideal for my visitation. I networked with someone (friend of a friend) when we were hanging out in LA on Sunday and she had some potential leads for me but I haven’t heard back yet so who knows. Leads that would be in MS or remote. I’ve applied to more jobs than usual lately and varying salary ranges. Depeche Mode wouldn’t have been a very good show to me if they hadn’t come back for an encore. I was in the nosebleeds and the seats were tighter than where I sat at the Cure so this man to my left was totally in my personal bubble. My back was aching a lot at the end. I had to take food with my medication and the pit stop we made after the show had just closed food service but we got the bartender to bring me fries 🥰 my hero I uploaded a clip from one of the songs I liked:

I’m really mad at myself, I saw a job posted for a college campus nearby and was feeling like crap so postponed applying. Those applications can be a pain. There was clearly a misprint on the page — said post date 10/4, close date 10/4. Well it’s closed now ugh!! I really don’t even know if I could handle the 7-8 in person event days. Physically speaking. It’s so depressing. She said it’s like a long day on your feet and very physical. Setting up barricades, climbing ladders and lifting items from the warehouse, talking to community members etc. I picked up my expired prescription cough syrup from my old med stash and hope it lets me sleep tonight. I kept coughing last night. I checked with the pharmacist about med interactions and he just said I might become very drowsy so I don’t know if I’ll take it before the concert or not. We are taking an Uber from my friend’s house and I’m sleeping over so driving on meds is a non issue.

Saw the kiddos last night. Made my pumpkin dessert at my dad’s. The visit was pleasant, though I’m sure ds probably blabbed to xh about my living situation in a not great light. I offered to bring him by my home and he met my landlords. I even showed him my text book and binder and pics from my class. Explained that I dropped out because of my back. I am open with him and we did get a tiny bit of one-on-one time together when I picked him up from his house after he got off the bus and dd waited at my dad’s. ds said he loved the dessert. I wasn’t super keen on it myself lol. I altered a recipe I found on Facebook. https://fb.watch/nvV8CH_yLt/?mibextid=roAVj8 I omitted sugar, used yellow cake, subbed pumpkin spice for cinnamon and baked longer than recommended to firm up the pumpkin purée more. Had my phone interview with the Alabama job. I got scared at first about the “long hours on your feet” and “lots of events on weekends” til we clarified that each person is in charge of 7-8 events per year (typically Friday night or Sat) and most days you’ll be in the office. I think I’d just need to swap weekends with xh or get a sitter on certain days. They asked several questions and I had good answers for most. She literally said she liked my answer a few times. She said in 1-2 weeks they should have feedback and hopefully we meet in person (I gathered this is just round 1 of interviews so in person would be round 2). If they invite me in person I’ll bring pics from the homeschool events I helped host. She was amused by the Photo Booth props I mentioned. One question they asked was if I had to host an event for the city of Mobile what would it be and I said it might sound cliché but a Mardi Gras parade. I understand that Mobile is the birth of Mardi Gras parades and who doesn’t love a parade? She agreed.

Hours-wise, probably not. For example, the low-paying desk job at the physical therapy office needed someone days Mon-Friday. But then I don’t know where I’d work to hold a second job. I still have a fear that if I call in sick to a new job I’ll be reprimanded/fired and lose everything. But at this point it’s a risk I probably need to take.