I’m not even excited. The guy was blowing up my phone too much today 🤣 I’ve got exactly one clean black bath towel and I’m probably gonna dye my gray hair before I go out and hope I don’t stain up my new bathroom. Covering my gray always helps me feel more confident. I’m not doing it for this rando but for myself. I talked to another guy online but we decided we weren’t compatible. He described himself as demisexual (not judging but with all these different terms it’s even harder to navigate dating to me).

I’d rather not try, especially in winter lol and with my limited space. I actually got rid of my portable clothing rack due to space. In summer wet items tend to mildew quickly.

Washed 2 small loads … one was dish towels. Dried on high heat setting. It’s taking both loads more than one drying cycle to actually be dry. I can’t imagine with full size bath towels. And I’m pretty sure the neighbor can hear every dang beep this thing makes. You cannot disable the beeps. It beeps loudly at end of cycle. Been perusing W/D options. I may end up at laundromat soon. I’m used to a wash cycle costing 3.00 min. Here it’s $4.25 min. I put the elec into my name but it doesn’t go into effect for a few days and they assured me I won’t lose power. I did not owe a deposit.

The set for sale is in my storage unit. I don’t want to haul a set to my place from there. I’m very leery of buying from individual sellers. That home with the room I rented had a used W/D like new and it kept messing up and they finally got it serviced after I moved our. Cost like $200 for the repairs. It’s not like buying something you can easily test.

The w/d isn’t in the lease and he said it was my choice. But I didn’t know how badly it functioned til I got here. I just liked the layout of this one better than the home that would have fit my side by side units. That other home had no space, doorways on 3/4 of the living room walls, no space for a dining table.

I am not going into it with any expectations but just fyi he has kids and they live with his ex.

All right don’t freak out but I’m going out tonight with a guy. I got bored and started playing on the dating apps last night. When he asked what I was looking for I said friendship first and he said same (maybe he’s lying) and asked me to join him for dinner. I’ll let you guys know if it was a nice outing or a disaster but either way… I’m getting out of the house lol I can see your faces now: 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I’m gonna measure the closet later (my tape measure didn’t make it into my tool bag) and see what it would cost to buy a cheap set (perhaps using money from selling the old set). I don’t want to pull my hair out everytime I need to do laundry. And they did not maintain the unit. I found so much lint outside the lint trap.

There’s no maintenance lol it’s a duplex and the landlord said he didn’t buy the machine. It belonged to the previous tenants. Now I see even though I did not use the bleach or fabric softener compartments they are full of liquid and I can’t even get it all out with paper towels. This thing is a hot mess.

Cat litter arrived and they sent a photo lol but that cat furniture I had to report won’t arrive for like a week now.

Ok this is my new thread about life post move for those that were interested. I’m going to have the other thread deleted for certain reasons. Today I tried the washer/dryer for the first time. After filming this video I did manage to open the washer door but it took all me strength and two hands. I wish I could just use my own W/D. This set is a headache! https://youtu.be/8nwfA6kqjoQ?si=bBikSTTRJlGM0Axt WWYD? I guess for economical reasons I should suck it up but for mental health I don’t know. 😵‍💫

I will say that xh rarely cuddled with me and wouldn’t even sit on the same piece of furniture for the marriage. I could probably count the number of times. Mostly happened at Christmas when he was forced to give up the recliners to his parents. I found that very cold and isolating. Separate recliners or one person in a chair and the other on the couch (I’m more a couch person). The bf I had just before moving away from central MS at least was affectionate. He always cuddled with me.

I don’t want to stretch myself thin now. Looking for volunteer gigs, second jobs etc. I just want to focus on settling into my home. Plus driving to do all those things costs money. I don’t even have a couch or tv in my house yet. I need to see if my old router is compatible with new service or if I need to purchase a new one. I have enough I can do. Romantic touch is not satisfied by other touch. It’s just not. It’s ok. I know I just get to deal with it.

I’m not quite there yet. I think I’m too full of anger or something.

I attend the concerts, too. For that genre and similar. I’ve been to a few this year. But I rarely meet people there. It’s hard to find other goths that aren’t too far away from me on personal beliefs. Like I reached out to one in our Facebook group (I’m in a couple) and she said she makes voodoo dolls for a living. That was a bit… disturbing to me lol

I don’t know how to explain. I can have deep conversations with a female friend but it’s not a replacement for the type I want. I’m not gonna cuddle with her, kwim?

There are 2 main venues. I’ve attended one in recent years with a friend but the DJ sucked lol we left. The nights happen a couple times a month but I hate to pay a ton for an Uber or parking. My 2 friends that live within about 20 min of me aren’t interested in attending. One is a former roommate and suggested we get together soon… but I have choppy days off so I don’t know when. We dress up (mostly in black gothy clothing). But it didn’t appear very “walk up and approach others” so going alone would be quite intimidating. I’ve been in and out of the scene for many years. But I don’t know locals that attend.

And I’ve done all that. Mostly during my separation period of like 2 years. I’ve seen multiple movies alone, watched YouTube and learned to sew more things, painted, read, joined a bowling league as a sub (they only called once and I had a tailbone injury), went to trivia night with the same group for months, and it doesn’t do it for me

I will say I like to go to these clubs with goth nights (goth, synth, ebm, industrial etc). But I can’t ever get anyone to commit to go with me. The event starts tonight at 10 but I probably won’t go because I work Sat morning. It’s a pain to get there, find parking etc. I worry about my safety if I go alone (walking to my car). I am trying to meet friends that want to go dancing but it’s hard.

I don’t know how to respond. It’s probably the depression. When you are depressed you don’t get joy out of activities. I’ve felt this way many times. Go to therapy, read books, distract myself with interests. Rinse & repeat. Still feel like life is missing something. Felt lonely for years in and out of marriage. I know one plus one makes two (Alanis Morrisette. I never call a partner my “better half.” I hate that expression). I can’t explain things and I feel like I’ve heard every suggestion under the sun over the years. I’d like to keep activities in addition to having a partner but they don’t replace that if that makes sense. Touch is a part of my love language and I don’t get that from friends. I don’t want to be touched by platonic friends lol now that I’m in a bigger city I did try to download meetup but the app didn't let me in. I’ve never had much success with those meetups. No, I don’t want to sit in a coffee shop and watch you write your screenplay. Yes literally the last one I joined people brought their activities to the meetup as the host encouraged. I don’t expect a partner to satisfy every need. I just would like a partner to share time with, activities, meals, etc. And intimacy. New friends are fine! But I leave feeling lonely too so it’s not the same.

I want to be a little selfish right now. I don’t want to commit to a group or volunteer gig. I do think I know who I am in a lot of ways. I get some joy out of helping others but I check that box at work. Sewing with others in a room is not necessarily fun. Trivia nights were ok but it’s really just a distraction and a way to say ok great you got out of the house and saw people. But it doesn’t fill a void.

I’ve done sewing, trivia nights, bowling meetups, and more over the years. I’ve tried meetups prior to and post marriage. It’s always been unfulfilling. I don’t know why everyone says you just need this in your life like all people are wired the same.

The package never appeared. Amazon is sending a replacement. @Garga New thread - I don’t know. I’ll make it obvious enough or post YouTube clips with an update. The building wasn’t as cold today. I was wearing a top & sweater but no jacket.

My water is on! I don’t know when I can get my couch etc. Weather and time constraints. I’ve been so tired I’m excited to sleep in tomorrow!! Kitty is happy I’m here. I like my job and the staff. I think it’s a good fit for me. I don’t intend to go back to school - I know what the starting salary is for a few titles above me and it’s imo not worth it. But you didn’t hear me say that. I’ll have this thread deleted soon.

That’s totally fine & valid. But I’m sick of wasting my time 🙂