SanDiegoMom
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Posts posted by SanDiegoMom
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11 hours ago, Arcadia said:
DS18 is scared of cold and he has Hot Hands to use when going for his 6:30pm classes. It is around 70degF on campus but that is cold to him.
This is something that was on my radar when my oldest was going through the college admission process. We were in Virginia at the time, but it’s very different getting into a car, driving to school, and going straight into class. We toured Willam and Mary and my first thought was - huge campus, going to be very cold to walk from class to class, especially if it’s windy! Also if it’s cold, it makes it much harder to find places to be alone if it has to be inside. My dd sought refuge outside on the lawns and in the sculpture garden all year long because she was in CA. I couldn’t imagine going to school anywhere with a real winter!
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My daughter and I listened to Sold a Story together. Just the other day in class (12th grade) she said she experienced watching a student who had apparently been taught this way. They were reading Shakespeare and he would read words and the beginning and ending were often right but the word was a completely wrong word. (not real examples but like using supposedly instead of surprisingly or destruction instead of determination). This is an AP Lit class. My daughter was so sad for the student. Seeing the results in real life vs just listening to a podcast helped her understand HOW this really affects everyone who was taught that way.
We were in this school district when my kids were in Kindergarten, and I purposefully taught them to read before sending them to school. I didn't know as much as I do now, but I knew that Phonics worked and what the schools had didn't, so they learned over the course of the year before!
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I love my brother printer. We had a black and white printer and then upgraded a couple of years ago to color. It does copying and scanning. I am not sure what you mean by chipped -- I just find the compatible ink for the printer model and buy it on Amazon. We had HP for years and I have always hated them and found Brother to be much more reliable.
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17 hours ago, Roadrunner said:
I am just curious how much resource management is happening in private universities. Is it typical to have classes restricted to only certain majors? Say only math majors can register for math and if there is leftover, others can fight for a spot no matter the class standing. I know certain majors you can’t ever touch (most engineering and computer science), but surprised it’s an issue even in areas like math. Or is this only happening on public universities? I haven’t myself attended a university (just a tiny LAC), so this is so new to me.
I think the classes that are the most in demand for prerequisites across different majors can often be hard to get if you are a freshman. The registration system can be pretty nerve wracking as well, as for every period it looks like classes are full, and then the next week more spots open up for the next period. Also going to the class for the first few days and putting in a request to enroll (permit to enroll or something like that) is a strategy my dd used frequently. If there was a class she really wanted, she would put her name on the waitlist and go the first few classes. Eventually students would drop.
I have heard of students asking every quarter for a permit to overload - then they drop the class they like least. That can make the classes seem full every quarter for the first two or three classes as well.
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30 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:
I’m so glad to see so many that would not charge rent. Nothing is wrong with that at all, but one of the big arguments that my mom has started with my husband over the years is that children should always pay rent to their parents if they move back home.
Our children were still very young and my mom asked the hypothetical question to my husband, “Would you make them pay rent if they moved back home?”
Okay, fine for a light topic and hypothetical talking point, but my mom took her opinion and shoved it down dh throat and angered him.
Today, my thoughts on that would be it depends on the situation. If my sons had a good reason to not pay rent, then they would not. I’d be inclined to tell them not to worry about it and stick it in their savings account in most any situation, honestly. They could buy their food and everything else and help with chores.
We charged 500 dollars rent but held it in a savings account and gave it back to our oldest dd when she moved out. She’s not super great with money and didn’t really conceptualize what expenses would be like when she was paying for them all herself.
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1 hour ago, EKS said:
Just because something correlates to something else doesn't mean that one thing is causing the other. It could be a third thing (or a group of things) causing both things. At the population level, I mean.
This is exactly what my husband and I were arguing about last night. The New York Times had an article about the SAT correlating strongly with wealth and his takeaway was that it was a bad test and should be gotten rid of. My argument was that it revealed information which could be interpreted many different ways (my biggest concern is the inequities of K-12 education based on zip code) and that doing away with the test doesn't change anything.
I also feel that it is the best of what we have at the moment, as nothing else has really risen to take it's place. If grade inflation is rampant (which I do believe it is, based on what I have seen) then how else can you cheaply measure academic potential?
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Everyone has different standards and what some people think of as "disgusting" and "gross" is what other people might be only capable of doing at the time. I don't prioritize a perfectly clean home and it is very common for me to leave a pot up to two days filled with water until I get around to cleaning it. I don't see what's so disgusting -- it cleans up, I clean the sink right after, it's all good? Sometimes I want to spend time with my teenage kids and then I work all day the next day, but it gets done eventually. I guess I got a little "triggered" reading all the judgement, lol.
Four to five days would mean something else is going on, and if it happens regularly I would honestly just ask to change chores around -- see if he can take care of a different chore and just take over the dishes from then on.
My husband doesn't really ever do the dishes, or cook, or clean. But we just came in from digging holes in the yard for some giant plants and let me tell you, I was very grateful he kept sending me away to do the smaller jobs -- he is much better suited to digging a two foot by two foot hole in rocky compacted soil. He has remodeled our bathroom, our fireplace, our bar area, and paints the tallest ceilings. I am very happy in return to do all the chores around the house:)
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Every family and every kid is different. I hope we can all see that. What might be high anxiety and control in one situation might in another be an acknowledgement of different issues that are at play.
I have three kids. I would love still to be able to have my oldest on find my iphone just to make myself feel better. She is smart but extremely ADHD, impulsive, and living alone in DC without close friends yet. Contact is sporadic and when she doesn't text or merely "like" a photo on our family group chat devoted to dog pictures and it's been three days, I start to worry.
My younger two are different. When they go off to college I don't think I will worry at all. One has a great head on her shoulders, is a planner, and makes very wise, safe decisions. The other will probably never be out partying, but will most likely be in the library, and honestly he's a guy so I worry less too.
Just as an example -- my oldest daughter has tried to drive long distances late at night, has run out of gas at importune times, and has often found herself in the wrong neighborhood with a dead phone battery and no GPS available. My younger daughter, on the other hand, gets gas the moment the tank hits 70 miles left, never lets her phone die, and goes over directions multiple times before she goes to a new place. 🤷♀️
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This got a lot of good reviews!
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15 hours ago, Karen A said:
My daughter is a sophomore at Harvey Mudd, studying physics, though because their core is the first 1.5 years, she hasn't actually taken any specialized major classes yet (though core has 2.5 semesters physics, I think?). She would say she loves the people there, but is struggling with the workload this semester. I really feel like they have a diverse and interesting student body. Since it's undergrad only, many sophomores and some freshman already start working in labs. They have an amazing Makerspace that any engineer would love. I'm sure she would answer specific questions or take time to meet with your son if he visited.
Thank you for this info! I will pass it on to my son and see if he would like to reach out. The one snag is after making our list, THEN I ran the net price calculator. Almost full pay is a tough sell compared to full ride due to Calvet Waiver and Chapter 35 benefits he would get at a state school. So private colleges are dropping a lot lower on his list at this point. But the draw of having opportunities to do research early is definitely something we were considering in looking at Harvey Mudd.
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53 minutes ago, saraha said:
Tipping. It really stinks. People should get a fair wage. Also, tiktokers who blast customers for the amount they tip, or who level their service on what they think people will tip. Just pay everybody fairly and drop the expectation. Tips should be for over and above service and people should not have to feel any kind of way about tipping.
In my job I make an appropriate hourly wage, but occasionally do receive tips from people who feel I went above and beyond. I don’t expect tips, people do t feel obligated, as an employee I don’t have to live with the stress of not knowing how much money I am making through no fault of my own. I mean if you put in 8 hours you should get paid for 8 hours, it’s not your fault that customers don’t come for whatever reason.
Just pay people a fair wage.
Yes! I don't understand it here in CA -- minimum wage is pretty high - I think it's 15.50 and going up again soon? And I still don't mind as much tipping at a full service restaurant but why at a take out restaurant?
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I vote leave it, absolutely. No one is going to walk over sheetrock repair, especially if the area was small enough to be covered by a picture! That would be insane!
But I also vote for WildflowerMom's solution. Toothpaste!
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10 hours ago, gstharr said:
Whenever, I hear these stories, I look for the missing part of the story. In this case, he is CS from Silicon Valley. The pool of CS applicants from that area must be extraordinary. Where was his work experience before applying. Take a look at his e-startup--basically just a web page. Kind of like students who lists that they started a non-profit.. No school activities listed. No comments from teachers. I imagine his recs letters were weak:: " He did well in my ap calc class, I am sure he will be successful in college." With to slight intended, the kid's overall package does not seem that impressive.
my cynicism comes from helping over 100 students from my local h.s., over the last 20 years, apply to UCs. They all apply to UCB and UCLA. Nearly all end up at UCI.. When their parents first contact me in the 12th grade, and show me their kid's 4.0 gpa and 1400+ SAT, I already know they are going to UCI. The main reason is that the parents but so such much emphasis on grades and SAT, the students did not participate in things that would boost their candidacy. When I tell the kids that they needs some ECs, they run to a couple of weekends of river clean-up, food kitchen, etc. I heard many college admission rep say that anybody can be straight A if all they do is study. They would rather take a 3.5 with activities, because that student adds life to the campus, and could have been straight A.
This is why my kids tell me how glad they are that I have been advising them as best I can - so many kids got disappointed last year when applying CS. At UcLA the CS admit rate is now something like 3 percent? There are students with deeper EC’s and similar stats not getting in.
My son has the same stats, probably more EC’s, but none computer science related. If he applied CS he would probably get rejected from all places. We look at all the admit rates for the Engineering school, and the admit rates by high school. Looking around you and realizing that out of 170 people applying to UcLA only about 10-15 get in can be pretty sobering.
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On 9/22/2023 at 6:24 AM, JennyD said:
DS and I both finished our parts of his National Merit application and sent that off to the recommender/endorser.
Wait, this was finished last month for you guys?? I am still crossing my fingers my ds will submit the essay on time😬. At least he’s in school so the counselor was on the ball when it came to recommenders and we didn’t have to do anything.
October 11 is the deadline. Tick tock!
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Do you have any services that can provide rides? We have a large Jewish Community Organization here that provides rides to seniors over 60 for free, anywhere they want to go. If they don't have a driver that can do it, they pay for an uber themselves.
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The buy nothing group I am in has had multiple people complain that their items are requested but the person never shows up to get them. I once put a pair of kid shoes out for someone -- they never came, I wrote them and they said they would be there, they still never came. So frustrating!
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We were gifted a brand new fire table once. We couldn’t use it and didn’t want to resell a gift (it was a gift for the friend but they didn’t need it either, so on it goes). I meant to post it only to local groups but accidentally cross posted it to FB marketplace. It was awful. Messages poured in at a rate of 20 per minute.
I couldn’t take it and turned off the post, but one gentlemen wrote a ton and was very persistent (in a very polite way) so I told him he could have it! But he definitely wrote the most and the majority were just the “Is it available”.
The biggest problem I have with “is it available” is that it requires the seller or lister to do the work to draw out if the person can actually come pick it up and when. They need to find out whether the person can lift heavy things and if the car is big enough for the item. So the gentleman that got the table stated in his first post when he could pick it up, that he had a truck and that he could lift it himself.
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On 9/29/2023 at 10:08 AM, rzberrymom said:
I wouldn’t discount the UCs. DD started at UCLA over the summer and nothing feels sink-or-swim so far. The pre-med students are intense and competitive, but I think that can be true at any university. I think Caltech or Stanford would be WAY more sink or swim than anything I’ve seen so far.
The only hard part is staying on top of bureaucratic deadlines (registration, housing) since there’s not a lot of hand holding. But that has felt worth it to me since the price is low and the resources are absolutely tremendous, especially for a kid who eventually wants to go to grad school. (there’s also a pretty widely available middle-class scholarship)
My oldest went to UcLA and doesn’t regret it at all, was usually able to get all her classes, got involved in the Daily Bruin, but certain things she definitely felt were challenging. The noise level of having so many students on campus, having two other roommates and never having personal space, and having very little in the way of advising. It and UCSB are definitely his top choices, cost wise.
On 9/29/2023 at 10:32 AM, rzberrymom said:Definitely check out the College of Creative Studies at UCSB, especially for math. @Roadrunner knows way more about it.
I forgot about CCS for some reason. My daughter thought about applying there for literature, but didn’t feel like it was worth it. But it was clear the Math and some of the other stem majors were much stronger. I will have to remind my ds about it, especially since that’s a supplemental application😂
23 hours ago, Roadrunner said:I don’t know much about Harvey Mudd other than they have extensive general education requirements, so that leaves not a lot of flexibility in course selection. They have a super ugly campus, which for us was an instant no, and they have way too many boys applying, also making competition much tougher for boys. Otherwise it’s an amazing program from what I have heard.
I honestly think CCS math program is a dream come true. Amazing advisor who cares for students and takes them out for lunch. Small core classes designed for advanced kids with problem sets any math kid would love (hours to ponder a problem I was told), kids who have background from various math circles, research from the start, ability to take grad classes as a freshman if you wish. I mean for a kid dedicated for math, I could not think of a better place. The advisor really hand picks the kids (so a faculty gets to decide who to admit). There is a separate app with essays that are relevant for the course of study. Only for math. Other CC programs only ask for recommendations I think. As you can tell, that was the hardest program to decline for my boy. I still think it would have been a better place for my kid.
Their CCS physics advisor is also ❤️. He is one of the coaches for US physics Olympiad team.That place is a gem.
This does sound wonderful! And he loved the campus, which was unusual for him. Usually he doesn’t really notice his surroundings 😛
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I feel like we are so behind in making the school list, much less them (twins!) actually working on applications. Time is skipping away so fast.
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I am so very sorry.
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I searched back in the hive to see if Harvey Mudd was mentioned at all, and hadn't seen anything. Does anyone have experience or knowledge about it? Specifically, my son is very mathy, has great grades and test scores, but isn't really in the running for the tippy top schools. He isn't sure what he wants to do, though right now he says major in math for undergrad and then somehow working in the field of nuclear energy. Though before that it was topology, and either way he plans to go to grad school.
We are down in San Diego, and he doesn't really want to (and probably shouldn't) go too far. So east coast is out, and even Colorado or Washington State or Oregon would be out. I feel like we are really limited to the UC's again (which would be great if he gets in, though the sink or swim wouldn't be ideal for this kid). He is applying to Caltech and Stanford just for kicks bc they are in CA, but knows he won't get in.
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On 9/15/2023 at 6:30 AM, MEmama said:
One of the few words DS mispronounced when he was very little (beyond his speech dyspraxia) was Off, which he pronounced Boff, while pointing furiously at anything he deemed out of order.
So began the often repeated mantra in my house "We don't live in a museum", meaning it's ok that there's a speck of dust on the baseboards or crumbs on the table while he was eating. How it took 20 years to recognize the OCD is beyond me 🤦♀️
The only way we ever figured out diagnoses of some of our kids was in comparing them to the other ones. If you only have one, it's a lot harder!
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Caspar has an adjustable bed frame. They had a great labor day sale and says their next sale will be black friday. Online I just checked and a Queen with adjustable base would be $2500 (that's the "snow" cooling mattress -- the regular mattress is cheaper but we got the "snow" because I get very hot when sleeping). When the base is bought with the mattress it is around 500 dollars. We have it and it raises the head, the feet, and has a massage function, which I accidentally started this morning scaring myself and my dogs.
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(J) has been transferred to St. Thomas' heart center. (UPDATE)
in The Chat Board
Posted
Sending healing thoughts❤️