NorthwestMom
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Posts posted by NorthwestMom
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Our house was built in 1972 and there was asbestos in the popcorn ceiling. It was too expensive to remove the popcorn ceiling safely for us at the time, and now we ignore it.
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4 hours ago, Lecka said:
I think it sounds like, the parent thinks the child has Pathological Demand Avoidance, and is doing (or trying to do) parenting approaches that are recommended for it.
I think it’s pretty relevant to the discussion, I don’t know if that makes it too searchable, but if the parent thinks this is what’s going on, then basically it’s known as an autism profile that is supposed to respond well or poorly to certain parenting techniques.
I will delete everything if it is too searchable, but I think it is too strange to have a conversation where only some people know it’s a conversation about PDA.
I will also say, it’s nothing unusual for a child with autism or ADHD to not be a fit for “a program for children with autism or ADHd.” Because — they are so broad, and a program could be wonderful for some kids but not a fit for every kid. That is just normal and expected. Especially if they are thinking a child needs a higher level of support than they are set up for. Or if it’s just not a fit because another type of program would be better. It’s not as straightforward as just “child kicked out because of behavior issues.”
I also think, do you have a sense if people at the current program are saying anything to her about her parenting? Because if they have the child all day and they are consistent, I think that many kids would be influenced by that. Or they could be more like — hey, what we have to offer isn’t working, maybe there’s more to this situation.
Honestly I think a lot of kids in daycare benefit from the daycare expectations/consistency and then take that good behavior home with them. But a child who has always (it sounds like) been in daycare, then what’s going on? Wouldn’t they be a kid who knows how to act at daycare but then gets away with everything at home? I know not 100% and of course I think parenting matters. I just think it’s something to consider.
I think it’s different if daycare is saying “we know some strategies we see work, could you try them at home,” and the parent doesn’t like that.
I also thought that diagnosis was being referenced here. I think it would be unusual for a preschooler to receive that diagnosis, there should be a longer behavioral history before a "pathological" label is applied. If I received a child that age onto my caseload with that diagnosis, I would be curious about the professional diagnostic process that occurred.
Regardless, if the child has an IEP and is in a public school program, and it isn't working, another IEP meeting should be held to request additional accommodations (1:1 para?) or to consider a different placement. If the child is not in public school program they may be at risk for losing their spot.
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Hi OP, I am a BCBA who works with kids with autism and I have definitely worked with families like yours. Is your son receiving ABA treatment? If so your BCBA should also be providing parent support to you and should be working closely with you on this. Self regulation, responding to negative statements and events, and tolerating delays are all behavioral goals we would work on cases like this. I am sorry you are going through this and I can tell how exhausted you are.
You have gotten some excellent advice from posters like Peter Pan and Freesia. Your situation is complex, and what will work the best can be affected by factors outside of your control. For example, it sounds like your school district is difficult to work with and are trying to placate you with the minimal amount of services they can offer. You definitely need an IEP (I suspect you have a 504 plan, probably not enough on there to help you) and I recommend you request one in writing ASAP. If your child ultimately needs a residential placement paid for by the school district he will likely need to try multiple less-restrictive placements first (for example, it might look like para assistance in general education classroom, then separate special education classroom, then alternative school in same city, etc). Again, if you are working with a BCBA, they can also attend IEP meetings and advocate for services your child needs.
Whether or not to call 911 can be affected by multiple factors. Ultimately, if anyone is at imminent risk of physical harm you should call, but it can also potentially make the moment worse. Some police will not have the skills to work with people with autism or other disabilities. You might want to visit the local police station without your son and talk to an officer to see what they recommend. My local children's hospital is at excess capacity for kids with autism and severe problem behaviors, so a local parent calling 911 would likely not result in an inpatient stay. However, a record of 911 calls might be helpful as documentation to move you up on waiting lists for services.
Hugs to you and please ignore anyone who is trying to make you feel bad about your parenting. They have NO idea what you are going through.
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On 12/1/2023 at 9:44 AM, Onalulu said:
So, I will try to keep long story short, moved to small town in Oregon a year ago. Decided to go back to school to become a teacher. In the meantime work as an Instructional Assistant with Sped, just to get in a district and it should be low key. Right?..... WRONG!!!!!
I am at second school and I cannot get over how mean, conniving and catty these other IA's are. Especially ones that have worked for a long time in the district. I left one school and trying to survive in second but these two women are giving me cause to quit. I do not want to because I love the kids and want to build my portfolio. They are literally rude and mean to me every day, and I end up crying at home. If I tell the teacher or VP I am afraid that will make things worse and if I stay and they do not like me, I am scared I won't be able to get IA when I start to teach in this district.
What should I do? I am to the point of quit and become a nanny until I finish my degree.
Hi there! Sorry you are going through this. I used to teach Special Education and I currently consult with my local schools. Some school staff have really terrible interpersonal skills. One of the sites I work with has multiple paras that are negative. They are fine with me (to my face), but rip each other to shreds every chance they get. I don't give a rip what they think of me because they have absolutely no input into my job assignments. My emotional energy towards them is "I am collaborating with you in a nice way to benefit these kids but DON"T TRY ME", with a professional and positive attitude and firm boundaries.
Are the paras you work with part of a union? If so, there is a contract that states how they get assigned to positions (usually those with seniority get to choose first). Paras do not typically have any input AT ALL about hiring or placement of other paras, so stop worrying about that. The teacher or administrator you work under will have more influence. I strongly recommend that you bring your issues to your VP (if you like them) or the teacher, and ask for advice to make the working relationship as smooth as possible. Schools DESPERATELY need paras now. They won't want to lose you, especially if you are planning to become a SPED teacher. There is an extreme shortage of those, as you probably know.
Lord I am so over the cattiness of grown women.
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We have washed our ruggable many times and it lays flat. I LOVE it!
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I am sorry you are going through this and hope that effective treatment will begin ASAP.
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Another internet stranger thinking of you and sending care across the ocean. I hope you start feeling better soon.
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Bingo can be a good game and no strategy is required.
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5 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:
Gently, as someone who worked as an attorney doing domestic violence work as part of my practice, this is not a promising update.
All of the legal issues aside, because I am sure her attorney is also advising this is not a good idea, and all of the safety issues aside (despite the red flags of owning a lot of guns, whacking her car with a shovel just a couple of weeks ago, turning off her phone just this week), he has yet to demonstrate he is stable and trustworthy.
Her reaction and wanting reconciliation is normal. He offered a white flag and of course she is hopeful. But, I don’t think this is just drugs alone driving his behavior. From what you describe, there have been red flags for many months.
I really highly advise she goes into therapy (not LDS family services which is not specialized enough in this area). She has a lot of stressors going on and I think it would be helpful for her to talk with a professional for advice and support and for perhaps some reframing of what she has been going through.
Of course if he wants to reconcile they will meet. I just don’t think this is a great time or way to do it.
Agree with all of this. This sounds DANGEROUS. I am scared for her.
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I had a cortisone shot in my shoulder for frozen shoulder and got full relief in 2-3 days. Good luck!
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Thinking of you and your family. I hope you all stay safe and things start improving.
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This is really beautiful and heartfelt. It's easy to see your mom's huge positive impact on your family. I am sorry for your loss.
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I get this too. Healthy or not, my anxiety is directly tied to my young adult's mood and functioning. I am working on developing emotional boundaries, but it is hard when people we love are suffering. Hugs to you.
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I am so sorry for your loss. My mother also died with late-stage Alzheimer's. I agree with everyone else, you have a lot to process, and life is still happening. Please prioritize self care, get counseling or grief support if you can, and give yourself time off from anything optional. Hugs to you.
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I am 5'1" and 122lbs. I need machine washable clothing for work and I do a lot of shopping at j jill in the petite department. Try the XS size. It seems like j jill caters to larger sizes without overtly saying so, but the Petite XS gives me a good, loose fit. I also wear the boyfriend jeans in a regular size 4.
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I can't watch it, and I am devastated at the idea of another person calling for his mother while being murdered.
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It's a grievous illustration of how humans try to come to terms with horrific behaviors of people they love. It's also devastating to comprehend the level of harm that is being minimized. My heart goes out to the victims, especially the children ,and the people who love them.
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So sorry for your loss. Your dad had a kind face. 🙂
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1 minute ago, KSera said:
Oh dear! I'm really glad it missed your house, but sorry it took out the fence, shed and awning. I assume the neighbor's homeowner's insurance will be responsible for repairs?
There's a good chance they are not responsible, unless the neighbors had reason to know the tree was diseased and a risk. Laws vary by state.
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Sorry to hear it! We lost a tree 11 years ago and feeling the crash vibrations is one of the scariest things that ever happened to me. Glad it missed your house!
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I am so sorry, and I hope your dad has peaceful and pain free passing
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Hugs to you and all who loved your dog. This happened to us in 2020 while my husband was out of town caring for his parents who were both hospitalized. He had to say goodbye to our elderly dog via Facetime and it was heartbreaking. I am so sorry for your loss.
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I am sorry for your loss. It's a shock to the system even when you expect it to happen.
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Hugs to you Noreen! That sounds so hard.
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Kelloggs boycott
in The Chat Board
Posted
LOL, I can't boycott what I was already not buying, but this was ridiculously insensitive and I will certainly NOT buy these products in the future. That multi- millionaire obviously does not value his customers.