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Posts posted by shawthorne44

  1. Or a compromise of establishing a Not Allowed In Library During School list.  The list would be short.  Anyone not on the list, doesn't get a library pass.  The complainer's kids could be automatically put on the list.  Then people could request their kids be added or removed from the list.  My parents would have used adding me to the list as an effective punishment. 

    • Like 5

  2. Just in general for self-catering.    You can pick between having a server or just buying extra food.  

    That is somewhat close to what a friend of mine said is the best self-catered wedding meal, and he is a photographer.   Note, we are in Texas.   Fajitas, where the meat/onions/peppers are already wrapped in the tortillas and aluminum foil.    The benefits of this is that you don't have someone putting a pound of meat on each tortilla, but people can still highly personalize their meal.   Your slider idea sounds similar. 


    • Like 1

  3. I think that there is some confusion about the kids.   It wasn't the disapproved grandchild that was getting married.   The disapproved grandchild was merely the sister of the bride. 
    To me, that somehow makes it even worse. 

    Quill, how did you turn out OK?   Note, I have said to more than one friend "How did you end up OK and not dead in the gutter or in supermax?"    So, I understand that people can rise about their parents.  It still amazes me, though. 

    • Like 4

  4. On 10/27/2019 at 5:15 PM, J-rap said:

    Our favorite strategy game is Catan.  There are different versions.  This is probably the one I recommend you start with:


    That is a good one to start with.  After we played a couple of times, DH said, "I don't think we are playing right because a game doesn't take hours and hours."  

    We really love Splendor.  There is just something about collecting gems that really appeals to me. 


  5. 3 hours ago, Quill said:

    You could be right, though I’m not positive. 

    In the wedding, the child they have an issue with was going to seat my mom as part of the processional. I can see the possibility my parents felt this was too “in their faces”. If they merely come to a party, they can basically avoid/ignore the child. But in the wedding they would have directly interacted. 


    Wow, that is harsh of them. 


    • Like 8

  6. 12 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

    I would host my parents separately and invite sister and her family over for a separate holiday game night. I would not force togetherness when feelings are so raw.


    And, if it were me since I'd consider my parents the guilty side, I'd give the sister the option of which day, including the real day. 
    Although she might prefer an off-day. 

    • Like 6

  7. I mentioned the coupling theory to DH.   He asked if I'd heard about the Suicide Forest project in Japan.   The project was to always have two students walking through the forest talking.  People complained that they were thwarted from suicide because of it.  Part of their plan and the reason it was so popular of a place to do it, was to be alone. 

    • Like 1

  8. 14 hours ago, Scarlett said:

    Oooh, I like the Amazon one.   They have an "Oversize King" (swoons). 

    I have this fancy duvet that I bought in this fancy store in Germany.  100% free-range goose down filled with extra down because I wanted it and I was paying by the weight.   They made it while I watched.  But I live in Texas and I like to share a comforter with DH.   So, since marriage it has sat in the closet. 


  9. 9 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:


    I somehow inherited a really gross old down pillow - the kind you want to pick up with fireplace tongs and hold at a distance so you don't touch it. I think I washed that one in hot water.  It came out (almost) like new.

    An ex-bf now named Mistake, did that.   The problem was that cover disintegrated in the dryer and it looked like "A chicken exploded" on the roof near the dryer vent. 


    • Haha 4

  10. Have you looked into a Games Convention?   Mensa has their annual one near DFW this April.   There are others, too.  People really into games gather and play games for hours and hours and hours, taking breaks only to quickly eat and short sleeps.  Usually you take new games home with you.  


  11. On the way to work I was thinking about the part where the police deliberately pull people over for piddly things just to give them a chance to interrogate and investigate them.   I truly think that they are hurting themselves this way.   

    I am a white, middle-aged woman that is completely unrestrained by laws because my moral compass and natural inclinations kick in before the law would restrain me.   Since I got the Cadillac and started to channel my inner-old-lady, even speed limits aren't a problem because I use them as handy guidelines for setting my cruise control.   And I am scared of the police.  Ponder that for a moment.   It is because I truly feel that some of them might be out to get me.  I was once pulled over and ticketed in Useless   (Euless, TX) for having both the old and the new registration stickers on my car.   I couldn't remove the old registration sticker and I was a few weeks away from getting the car inspected, and I was going to ask the inspection guy to remove the old one.   A cop in City_Of_The_Lying_Cop (Frisco, TX) gave me a ticket for not having my seat belt on, when I did.   I have long hair that completely covers the seat belt to below the window level.   When I see a cop car, my chest tightens and I lightly panic.   Remember, I am a white woman who isn't doing anything wrong.  There was a thread here discussing how much cooperation we'd give the police.  There were lots of us, that wouldn't.   We are a group of homeschooling parents, not a group of criminals on the dark web.   

    Back when the History channel showed history shows I saw one on prohibition.   It said that before then, people liked the police.  Even criminals were OK with them.   Like now, even arsonists are OK with fire fighters and fire investigators.  There had even been a sort of bond in that both groups were interested in crime.   Prohibition completely changed that because the police might come after you for doing something that your average citizen thought was perfectly fine. 

    • Like 2

  12. 47 minutes ago, SKL said:

    I was just thinking about this earlier in a different context.  I was thinking (based on personal family background) that ASD people seem less likely to lie, but if they do lie, it can be harder to tell they are lying.  That said, I don't know what the public thinks about it.  I assume most people don't think about this at all.

    ETA but if we're talking about strangers who are autistic, I could see them seeming suspicious because they don't look you in the eye the way average people do.

    (I didn't read the book being discussed.  Just wanted to comment on your above thought.)

    One of the examples in the book was called Nervous Nellie.   She fiddled with her hair, and acted nervous, and didn't make eye contact.  People thought that she lied (looking at a video) but she hadn't. 

    In a different context, I heard of an example of an innocent hispanic teen girl that was fired for stealing petty cash.   She wouldn't make eye contact.   But, apparently, that is the behavior of a good girl in the hispanic culture. 


    The autism idea was just mine.  I got there with the thought of "people that act in unexpected ways".   I have a friend that, like me, isn't autistic but is on the autistic end of the normal range.   We both spent ours lives studying social things and intellectually developing decoding cues and scripts of proper responses.  "Roommate murdered" isn't one that I've prepared for.  

    The description of Knox singing down the hallway in school reminded me of a high school classmate.   He did that.  People had us joined together in their minds because we both had red hair.  During high school I said that he would either die committing a felony or become famous in a band.  By the past tense, you can probably figure out which.   He was shot in a shoot-out with police behind a grocery store after robbing it at night. 

    I, too, loved the audio clips.   It added another dimension.



    • Sad 1

  14. I am halfway through.   I've had a few thoughts.   The section on the gymnastic doc sicko made me think of when a parent doesn't believe the child that says that they are being abused.   It has to be harder to wrap your mind around a close family member doing that then a stranger.   I still find that horrifying, but I gained some understanding.  A friend of friend is currently in jail after being falsely accused by a step-daughter.   She had just been angry about the divorce and being a teen.  She recanted immediately, but the prosecutor wanted to improve his stats.  The guy stupidly took a plea bargain.  So, I don't think kids should automatically be believed.  I am also reminded on those people whose lives were ruined when the kids said that there was satanic rituals at the daycare, and it turns out they were being sexually abused by the psychiatrist. 

    Another thought, from the section on mismatched people.  Autistic people.   Are people more likely to think that they are liars?  

  15. On 10/14/2019 at 10:31 AM, Terabith said:

    I don’t even feel up to watching tv or listening to a book.  How long does it take to be able simple diversion?


    That is the worst feeling, when listening to a book is too much work.  

    Do not feel guilty!   I remember one year when my grandparents visited we got sick, except for poor mom who ended up doing all the work.  We thought we were better, and we went to a restaurant.   Sitting in the booth was a real strain. 

  16. 18 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

    dd suggested going to an "expensive" optical shop, finding frames I like - getting the info, and ordering them online.  Then taking the frames to Costco and having them do the lenses.


    This is true of Zenni several years ago, they didn't allow me to order just frames.  I was buying a second frame because they always break long before my expensive lenses.   I ended up getting the cheapest lenses they offered.   I think they automatically upgraded the second pair because they didn't have my strong script in the cheap version.

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