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shawthorne44

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Posts posted by shawthorne44

  1. I think because I have an Evil Grandmother, I know how horrible a MIL can be.   So, my hope was that my future MIL wouldn't be a witch.  I'd put my MIL in the precise middle, so definitely not a witch.  

    I don't think what is going on with your kids and their MILs isn't precisely a MIL problem.    I really think it is a parent-child relationship problem that has spilled over onto the spouse.  

    • Like 2
  2. 2 hours ago, Arcadia said:

    Was that IRPS? When we attended, so many of us drove down and we have experienced 5.4 and higher earthquakes so are pretty nonchalant about the minor ones. 

    No, it was a different conference.  
    I used to work with someone that had been in the area of the bad quakes during the world series in CA.   A bunch of coworkers sharing a rented van.   It took several days to get to an airport to leave and they didn't get much sleep because the after-quakes kept setting the hotel's fire alarm off.   Friend had been scared of flying.  When she got in the seat on the plane she realized, "There aren't earthquakes in the air" and fell asleep in relief.  
     

    • Like 1
  3. 20 hours ago, Spy Car said:

    As a native Angeleno a 4.2 doesn't even cause us to arise from a toasty bed. But I didn't not sleep well. Not from "anxiety," just the break in the sleep cycle.

    I will check back to see if there are more updates.

    Thank you for the info.

    Bill 


    I was once at a Semiconductor work conference in Monterrey, CA and during a lecture session I suddenly felt ill.    I did what you do, and turned inward.   Then I noticed that about half the audience looked green.  I realized it was a quake.   If you'd had a video on the guy talking, you wouldn't have noticed anything because he didn't seem to notice.   On the way out I asked some of the people nearby that hadn't looked green if that was a quake.   At first they'd said No, because they'd already forgotten.  It was a 3.something.  
     

  4. 2 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

    Can you please tell me more about this?  I’ve been using mild shampoo and conditioner regularly, with occasional forays into Philip B wildly expensive Rejuvenating Oil and a couple of their after sprays, but maybe there is a better way.

    Look on YouTube for Katherine Sewing Historical Hair.  
    Her Thing is historical sewing, then when she had a kid she cut back on the chemicals she was using.  Before that, using the Curly Girl stuff, her hair looked nice but it wouldn't grow past a certain length and it was unhealthy.   So, then she looked into historical hair care, and tweaked that for curly hair.   Along the way there was similarities with Indian hair care and kinky hair care.  In one of the videos she makes a scalp treatment and discusses what smells and you might want to leave out.  She also uses a clay for hair-washing.  

  5. 41 minutes ago, MEmama said:

    ...

    I'm contemplating leaving a bad review. I've only done that once before--anyone can have a bad day or make a mistake and I'm not comfortable making public judgments in case it was a one-off, but this should never have happened. "I'm growing my hair out and would just like a trim to clean it up--and here's a picture of what I want" does not mean "please cut precious inches of growth off and hack weird layers into my hair". 


    I would do the review.   Include a photo of this is what I asked for, and this is what I got.  

    • Like 5
  6. 10 hours ago, Quill said:

    ...I am happy with my hairdresser now, but I’m not gonna lie, she is $$$. My son was just talking about how he doesn’t understand how this girl he works with can spend hundreds of dollars getting her hair done and I’m like 😗

    I have long curly hair and I've been doing the Curly Girl thing for awhile.  BUT, I have split end problems and it is rare for me to have to cut my hair.  DD is 12 and I think I've cut my hair once in that time.  So, when I ran across some Katherine Sewing videos with her hair care routine, I thought I'd slowly try it.  I ordered some Jojoba Oil on Amazon and gulped when I saw that the $10 worth of oil was about the size of my thumb.  There was other stuff I bought too.  I started to worry about the cost of this stuff.   Then I remembered what I used to pay for a haircut and I thought, "Well, I guess I'd pay that money on stuff to get my hair very healthy"   
     

    • Haha 1
  7. Not a stupid thing to cry about.  As a teen in the late-80's the hairdresser my mother kept taking me to kept cutting my hair into a helmet.   She mostly took care of old ladies.   I'd say I was trying to grow out my hair and she'd :"Ah Hum" me and then cut it in another helmet.   I really should forgive her for that.  
    I've had some good stylists since then, and I was intensely loyal to them.  But when my last one moved away my hair was long enough for me to do it myself.  

    • Like 1
  8. Our dog knew that she was almost killed at the shelter.   So, every time we took her to the vet or to board or move she thought we are taking her to die.  When the time came I just could not stand the thought that the last time, she'd be right.   

    So we wanted to do it at home.   A Tractor Supply employee told me of a vet that comes to your home.  That was the absolute best option.   She died in our living room with us around her.   DH buried her in the back yard.  If we'd chosen, she would have taken our dog with her.  

    One thing the FAQ on her website pointed out.   Your vet doesn't like to do that.  They know you and they know your pet.   I remember the vet crying when my parent's sweet dog was put down.  
     

    • Like 7
  9. One idea for a suggestion that you could give to them.   

    I read about a woman that travelled the world living in apartments one-lease at a time.  When I read the article she was in Rome with a 6 month lease.  So it didn't cost *that* much more than living in an apartment and taking a yearly distant vacation.   She did have a large storage unit to keep most of her stuff.  

    If their purpose was to force your siblings out of the nest, or if the purpose was to travel cheaply (in their minds), then that would fit the bill in either case.  

    • Like 2
  10. Our Plan B was to get married in a restaurant.  

    DH and I had one wedding argument.   It was whose side would a certain friend stand.   We weren't having it in a church, so I had the brilliant idea to have him marry us (and be in the middle).   Becoming an internet minister was super-easy and cheap.   It was lovely.   Between that and a few other things, we had no strangers at our wedding.   


    Several years later, the same friend was getting married.  Original plan had been 400 people in her home town in Mexico.  Then Lockdowns postponed that, then because of immigration they had to get married quickly and they had it in the same restaurant I was thinking of.  The restaurant was an old Victorian.   Wedding was in one of the bigger rooms.   Ceremony and reception in the same room.   It was lovely!  

    We had our wedding at the Elk's Lodge.   Ballroom that would have fit a few hundred.  $500.   The good part came in with the caterer that was $12/pp for choice of Prime Rib or Salmon.  This was in 2009.  I'd been reading wedding advice stuff and I heard horror stories of practically no one RSVPing.   So my plan B was to move the wedding to the restaurant and only tell those who RSVP'ed.   

    • Like 2
  11. And the other trouble with the contractor shortage is that the price keeps going up.   Just before the lock-down we got a quote to do our driveway for 10K.  We gulped and said we'd have to save up.   Then when we had the money and then we spent over 6 months getting another quote.   People would come by and then never send us the quote.  By calling the people back that had come by we eventually got two quotes, 18K and 21K.   We then borrowed some money from my parents and committed to one.   Otherwise the price would have kept going up out of our reach.  Then it was another 3 months until the first section could be done because of the concrete availability.   There are two companies near us and one has 80% pre-bought by new home builders, and the other also has 80% pre-bought by new home builders and an additional 10% by the town we live in.  We had three sections to be done: the last section was from the garage to the street, the middle section was the garage itself, and the first section was a driveway from the back of the garage to this other building we have.  So, we had to wait a long time between each section because we had to wait for the next concrete availability.  Then last section was done just before NYE.   

  12. I was thinking about this topic, and then I remembered that there are a couple of people here that I'm ignoring because I thought they were anti-semitic. I don't know if they were Christians, though.  I can't say who they are because I ignored some other people over Covid.   I'd gone a really long time without ignoring anyone.  
     

  13. 12 hours ago, Brittany1116 said:

    ...have yet to see a single case where the extended family was a better option than "strangers". In almost every case, no relatives could be found that were not incarcerated, indefinitely unemployed, failing drug tests, living with or sheltering others who were not legally allowed to be around children, and actually wanted anything to do with the kid.  ...


    And then you sometimes have the problem of child-rearing that caused the initial problem.  I used to know someone that raised his grandchild and then great-grandchild in the same spoiled-rotten way that he raised his daughter.  When I first met him his daughter was a wild teenager and he'd give parenting advice to other people.   On paper he was a good choice.   Nice home and loving.  

  14. 1 hour ago, wintermom said:

    I get twitchy thinking about this now. We were supposed to move right when Covid hit. We were frantically trying to fix the house up and declutter when hardware stores and thrift stores for donations all closed. Then we were in limbo for months waiting to see if dh would be allowed to move during Covid. After 2 years of this insanity we backed out of the move.

    There's still a possibility we could move in 1.5 years if we wanted to. I just can't even think about going through the preparations again. If we did decide to move, I would intentionally take many months and do it slowly without any rush or sense of panic.


    One thing I loved to do back when I moved often.   I'd rent a storage unit near someplace I went often.  It was near work for me.  I made a rule that I had to add at least three boxes to the unit every work day and I'd start when I first knew I was moving.  Everyone else that has moved themselves has reached the point where they were overwhelmed with packed boxes, but they weren't half done yet.   But mine were cleared out as I packed.  Some days I really didn't feel like boxing stuff, so I'd grab something already boxed like Christmas decorations.  I mention this because you said that next time you'd take many months and this method works well with that.  

    • Thanks 2
  15. Years.   But, then the house is almost double the size it originally was, and after the next/final addition it will exactly double.   At this point the work is getting the floor space and for example the room I'm in now just has the plywood underlayment.  DH is doing all the work and the house will stay mid-construction for awhile.  

    This house we plan to never leave.  But in the previous house one thing I tried to not do was to delay all improvements until only the next owner enjoyed it.   By doing them before I was ready to sell, *I* got to enjoy them.   

    • Like 2
  16. You can make one in Excel fairly easily.  I found the main benefit was the motivation.   Col A was the payment (it started as equal to the min. payment), Col B was the amount to Interest, Col C was the amount to Principal, Col D was the new balance.  At the top, I had the sum of all payments.   So, if I played around with the next payment I could see just how it lowered the total cost of the house.   At first the payment was a stretch for me.   But I saw that I added just the principal of the next payment, I'd be skipping an entire payment.  That was like $60.   I'd offer to send you mine, but I don't have a mortgage payment anymore.  

    • Like 1
    • Thanks 1
  17. I've never met anyone anti-Semitic.  Like the OP I don't understand it.  I had been engaged once before DH, and no one batted an eye that he was Jewish.  I've never heard anyone say anything bad about Jews.   I used to regularly pay poker with a guy that was Jewish and he thought that because I was Christian who went to church, I was therefore anti-Semitic, or I at least heard that filth spewed in church.   But never have.  If Jews are mention it is with things like the First Covenant or God's Children.   

    Well, I take that back, my Evil Grandmother hated Jews.  But, she truly hated everyone.  She was very egalitarian that way.  

     

    • Haha 4
  18. I never heard of Imposter Syndrome. but it makes sense.  I consider myself average, but I'm in Mensa (high IQ group).  I've often said that I "test well," and I know I'm not the only one that says that.  I do find myself happier when I'm not the smartest one.   I remember one time drinking beer with other Mensans and saying that it is nice working where I'm not the smartest one in the break room.  Most people's eyes glazed over as they dreamed of that happening.  
     

    • Thanks 1
  19. 2 hours ago, Roadrunner said:

    I am still trying to understand massive civil war reenactments. 🤷‍♀️
     

    Apparently, in Germany reenacting traditional Native America life is a thing.   I used to have a coworker that did that.  My first question was, "Do you have any woman participating?"   Answer, "No, not for long."   

    • Haha 2
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