EMS83
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Posts posted by EMS83
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And if it is a friend, they should accept it and be supportive, even as they are disappointed and renew their search.
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Prayers.
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They do chores because chores need doing, but I do give them allowance and have recently considered docking it for attitude, lol. But I very likely won't. It's $20/month for the older two and $15/month for the 8 year old. But yes, they pay for their own screens and games, and any toys they want outside of birthdays and Christmas. They are supposed to pay for their own pets, but I struggle not to meddle there because they're living things. So they pay for food and the animals themselves, but after losing a couple of pets, I tend to deal with their habitats. There hasn't been an outing with friends to a place like SkyZone, so I'm not sure there, honestly. I might compromise and offer to cover admission, but they'd be on the hook for concessions or arcade games or whatever. /shrug
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10 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:
I'd give the mom the benefit of the doubt for knowing her kid. Not every kid handles sleepiness very well. For some, they need the rest before they can have a meaninful and productive conversation. Some are just plain contrary when they're tired. We've all known babies who fight sleep even though it's the thing they need most. Some young children get like this too. Allowing them to spin out when they are over tired isn't the best idea and making it a nightly habit can make things worse in some cases.
Of course. That's true, too. 🙂
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13 hours ago, lovinmyboys said:
Maybe I should talk to a professional. I have been treating it as just normal anxiety. It is hard to know what needs professional help, and what is just part of growing up.
I did tell him we aren’t talking about any of this stuff before bed tonight. Bedtime is when I feel like it is most out of control.
Please don't do that. Bedtime is where he's safest and least distracted, so of course it all comes out then. He may not feel able to express those feelings at other times, for whatever reason. Let him cry. Hug him. A caveat is if he is keeping you up all night, then find a solution where you both comfort him and help him respect your need for separation and sleep.
Yes, find a counselor; vet them, but find one. I'm actually going to counter the logical people on the thread; having experienced that state of mind, logic won't make it stop because it's missing the point. It's hard to say much beyond that, as the reasons for feeling that way can vary wildly, but please don't shut him down. It is both a part of growing up and in need of professional help/guidance; like wellchecks, exercise, and good diets. Some people need more help/guidance than others, but I think we all need at least some, really.
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10 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:
lol well maybe... I just read it alongside disparaging comments like “I couldn’t stay home and do finger painting and bake cookies all day”. The kind of comments that make me assume commenter has never stayed with kids for any great length of time.
I agree; they're little people, so it's a multifaceted experience for sure, not to mention running a household. And some people are just downright miserable that way, and that's ok, but I'd be downright miserable as a CEO. That doesn't mean I get to belittle their job, and I think the problem is that respect doesn't go the other way.
But then, I wouldn't belittle menial jobs, either. We =/= our job, whatever it is. Society forgets that. We forget that, too. 🙂-
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22 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:
I know. But the issue is with the social perception that it’s possible to have two people have full careers and raise kids and still have some kind of quality of life. Acknowledging that raising kids and running a house is mental work doesn’t seem that revolutionary to me but then a lot of extreme feminists seem to think staying home with kids or doing housework is turning brains into mush so maybe it is a big realisation that actually there is a tonne of mental work associated with it.
to me the biggest problem we have socially is actually acknowledging the work and contribution of caring roles. In past times a divorce often did lead to even distribution of assets or alimony but because socially we’ve decided people doing the work at home actually aren’t doing anything that’s often not the case anymore.
It's turning brains into mush precisely because of how huge the <deleted> load is. 🤐
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Hydro Chic
And Coolibar
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Pray, if you pray, and take care of you. ::hugs::
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The kids and I have always shared three meals a day at the table unless something caused us to do otherwise. There have often been gadgets though (mine, sadly). DH just recently started eating dinner with us.
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39 minutes ago, Farrar said:
But there should never be a "oh, Santa's not real!" reveal moment for kids with history.
This. I really wish they'd adopt the chronological approach in public school.
I know that sounds unrelated, but I'm not sure it is. It's not only about teaching the truth, but keeping things in perspective.
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1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:
yep. I won't even bother with them for anything.
That's reassuring. 🙂
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My first thought was c. Diff, too.
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22 minutes ago, Farrar said:
One of my favorite TED talks is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's "The Danger of a Single Story" - I feel like this has a sort of overlap to the broader points of that talk.
I loved that one when I ran across it.
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16 hours ago, Liz CA said:
I realize Katy called the thread "abusive relationships" but I responded to a post that talked more about emotionally controlling / unsatisfying relationships and the value of having outside support, friendships, etc.
Emotional control = abuse.
edit: I see where this was addressed at the top of page 2; I'll leave it for the lurkers, though.
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23 minutes ago, medawyn said:
Thanks all. I joke with my ADHD DH that he’s better equipped than I am, because he has developed so many strategies over the years. I could always just hold everything in my brain, but between four kids and years of interrupted sleep, there are times I can’t even remember if I’ve used shampoo... while I’m standing in the shower.
I’m going to experiment with some of these strategies to see what sticks. And yes @CES2005, actually getting “it” done is a different challenge entirely! But at least I hopefully won’t be driving myself crazy trying to remember what I’m not doing!
Sleep is so vital! I've recently learned that. I know it's really hard at certain stages, but do whatever you can (and tell whoever you have to) to reduce the number of interruptions to needs and can't-help-its. Those are plenty. I hope you find something that works. 🙂
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I have a spreadsheet (or two...
), and a dry erase board. That doesn't mean I ever get around to any of it, though!
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13 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:
It's better to just get over the compulsion to be nice to someone who is cultivating a relationship with you just to use you.
Truth.
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2 hours ago, SKL said:
Few things about other cultures surprise me any more. I do know that hospitality is a really big thing, and to many it's an insult to ask them to stay in a hotel, even if the host is paying for it. Maybe the child's living arrangements are not conducive to having overnight guests or are too far away.
In my experience, I don't know of anyone actually moving out so guests can move in, but I have had many experiences where the host moves out of his/her/their bedroom so the guests can have it. I have a good friend who sleeps on the floor when guests come. "No really, I like sleeping on the floor."
This is what I was thinking, except perhaps the condo is a 1 BR and the owner doesn't want to sleep in their own living room?
Shifting belongings because of security concerns? Or clutter?1 hour ago, SKL said:I live with someone from Asia. Our house tends to be where her many friends, relatives, and business associates stay when they have reason to be in this major metro area. Not only are we supposed to give them a spotless clean gorgeous place to stay, we are supposed to home cook their cultural food (all 3 meals), drive them everywhere, give them a tour of the area, and if possible, take them to the major tourist attraction that is a 4 hour drive away.
It took many years for my friend to finally start telling some people we would be happy to put them up in a hotel. I think it started when we were having serious maintenance issues and could honestly say "we are in the middle of repairs / remodeling and can't have people over.
Oh wow, I'd be a terrible host. I don't mind the room thing. Spotlessness and learning to cook food I don't know anything about are things I'd probably fail. 😕 The 4 hour drive thing is...yeesh. It'd have to be a major attraction. Like Mount Rushmore or something; and then I'd probably be glad for the excuse. 😄 But then, visiting somewhere else I wouldn't expect all that; I'd probably offer to sleep on the floor, lol.
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Does the other country have a drastically different culture from the U. S.? Is the condo a one bedroom, by any chance? That would explain a lot.
I'm also curious who initiated this visit.-
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I'm Orthodox; I get it. May it be blessed. 🙂
And prayers for the last stretch of your pregnancy, and a safe delivery! -
8 hours ago, Ottakee said:
Feel free to forward the link to her. It is very much in it's early stages and subject to lots of changes as I figure out how to blog....and remember all my new passwords and logins
I'm like that, too. 😄
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Question: what if your account is deactivated? Can they still look you up?
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I've been so (over?) protective of my kids and they've only stayed with grandparents, but they're old enough now that I really just need a responsible adult I can call to supervise them for the random occasion so we don't overtax the grandparents (who already have a kid for a day each month and do overnights each month, plus hosting us for dinner each month). We live far from church, and don't know anyone in our area very well. So in that sort of situation, is there a site and/or screening process y'all use when you need actual paid sitters?
), and a dry erase board. That doesn't mean I ever get around to any of it, though!
nvm
in The Chat Board
Posted · Edited by CES2005
nvm