EMS83
-
Posts
1,933 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Blogs
Classifieds
Store
Posts posted by EMS83
-
-
Prayer if it was irreplaceable; either doing without it or buying another one if it was mass produced. There's very little I'd turn the house inside out for, though; I think things like this used to bother me a lot more than they do now, fwiw.
-
2
-
-
::hugs::
-
Help her learn to love herself, and quickly. I say because I know.
That wasn't the right way to end a relationship on his part, and I'm so sorry she was hurt. ::hugs:: -
Are people more mature in college? 🤐
-
::hugs:: to everyone.
-
1
-
-
We clean up messes made by meal prep and meals after each meal. The kitchen only gets a thorough clean once per week...appliances wiped down, etc. the counters get tidied and wiped once every day to day and a half. It's not ideal, really. Dishes depend on who's doing them. The kids tend to only have two dish sessions per day when they do it; I try to keep the sink empty these days (has not always been the case). And I vacuum almost daily (we have a Lab), so that's how the crumbs are taken care of (whatever the dogs missed, anyway!). I guess that's it? Trash goes out when it needs to. Mopping is once per week unless we happen to have a particularly messy week, then I'll spot clean...sometimes. 🤐 It's a galley kitchen and there are five of us.
-
::hugs:: I'm glad no one was seriously injured!!
-
1
-
-
I like Dagny. I've never heard of it, and I like new and interesting names. So I'm voting for (to me) novelty. 😄 Adorable kitty, by the way!!
-
1
-
-
Yaaaay!
-
1
-
-
Every other night; I'm trying to get my tween to go daily and it's like pulling teeth.
-
I must have picked up some Japanese tendencies somewhere!! I'm constantly telling the kids, "If we don't love it enough to take care of it, then maybe we need to give it away to someone who will!" 😄
-
2
-
1
-
1
-
-
I do mine and DH's, not the kids. I guess it's a "you're at work all day, so I'll do the stuff around here" thing, though I realize if he were on his own, he'd have to figure things out himself, lol. What I don't do is move his clothes from the floor to the hamper. I wash what is in the hamper (though this is a relatively new practice).
-
I'd hotel hop, driving as close to 6 hours/day as possible. But that's just what my theoretical starting point would be.
-
1
-
-
Rinse & scrub, but usually without soap on the sponge. They're foodless before going in.
-
2
-
-
I'm starting to wonder those things, too. Yes and no on the stupid. I mean, would I characterize someone else's choices, even those specific ones, as stupid? No. I'd probably say dangerous or foolish, depending. But being self-referential, I tend to be harsher. Long, long term pattern.
For me I generally say "dumb" as shorthand for careless or impulsive. And that's what I think the driver's seat thing was--the impulse control "switch" didn't flip. That's something different than the other examples.
edit: and we never got to why he was uncomfortable with the friend's dad coming, or why it was a little weird. I didn't question or push back. That's on me.
-
Adorable!!!
-
1
-
-
26 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:
Have you brought this up with your counselor? What did they say? (And I hate to have to ask this, but by "counselor" you mean somebody licensed, right?)
Not yet, it's newish. And yes, licensed; I understand. 🙂
-
I guess so. 😞 In that case, a firearm definitely would be a bad solution, though. So it still doesn't make sense to me.
-
1
-
-
37 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:
Trust seems to be a big issue in your marriage. He needs to trust that as an adult you have common sense and the ability to handle situations that come up in a relatively safe setting. Unless you have demonstrated the opposite, most adults have a mental “safety plan” that will allow them to handle normal situations.
You both need to trust each other to remain faithful to each other in group settings where I assume that you would not be going off for alone time with someone else’s husband.
Well when we met, I was binge drinking and smoking pot and driving intoxicated, so yeah. And occasionally now I do something incredibly stupid and dangerous. I mean, incredibly. Like driving when I know I'm at risk for falling asleep at the wheel. One time I jumped out of the driver's seat with the van going down the road. It's random, but yeah. I have. 99% of the time I'm fine. Sometimes, something misfires. Or with the fatigue thing, I felt like I didn't have another option. My solution (camping) was shot down, and I didn't explore my other overnight options like I should have.
42 minutes ago, regentrude said:So that means he requires you to keep exclusively female company? That sounds severely limiting and controlling. I don't think hiking/camping is the actual issue.
I ended a 7 year friendship with a great, totally platonic guy friend, so yes. Though I think he had a crush on me at times. But I was ok with it, and remorseful of all my less chaste and modest behavior. It made sense. But...I just stopped sharing my location on my phone (we've had it on 24/7 for a couple of years now), and despite saying it was a safety thing for both of us and he was leaving his on, he stopped sharing his. I'm not unaware. But now I don't know what's reasonable and what's not--but did I ever? Hence counseling. And this thread. I don't want to overreact to a reasonable request.
-
20 hours ago, regentrude said:
That sounds seriously controlling. WTH is his problem?
I have a past? idk. I can't say. I mean, I felt that anxiety when we were dating and he went somewhere completely public with a friend and a friend's girlfriend. For me it's been my faith that has helped me feel more secure. Though I still have a hard time figuring out where the line is--that's a whole other topic. But no, he's definitely in the "men and women can't be friends" camp. We had a thread about that here somewhere. He's not willing to be friends with other couples, so that level of protection is off the table.
-
17 hours ago, Tanaqui said:
OP, does his discomfort or fear often cause you to curtail plans and not do things you'd like to do, or is it really only hiking and camping?
Well camping and hiking are the main things I'd like to do that seem to fall through. Most of what else I'd like to do can be done at home. But maybe? If I wanted to go to Atlanta with friends, it would probably be a hard sell. It hasn't come up yet, because that's not the sort of things I really like. I don't know how much is me, though... it was a habit of mine to assume I was wrong if my understanding or opinion differed from others'--for always. He's the "who cares what people think" type. I'm seeing a counselor to figure out how/why I became that way and how to quit. 🙂
-
1
-
-
Happy birthday!!!
-
1
-
-
10 hours ago, happysmileylady said:
Actually, I don't see it like that at all, and I am sure he doesn't either.
To me, giving a spouse a reasonably detailed plan of XYZ trip isn't an unreasonable request whether that trip is camping or not. For example
Last summer, I went on a yard sale trip. I am sure that doesn't make sense to most folks but for me it means that mom and I and my girls (though not DS6 because he's just not old enough,) travel down a particular US highway to a certain point, get a hotel room and the start yard sale-ing at like 8am, heading up that particular US highway. We hit whatever yardsales we want, but certain points, like the hotels we stay in, about when we expect to be there, are fairly certain. So I give those plans to DH.
Likewise, when he travels for work, I get a fairly detailed plan of when he leaves the office, about what time he should arrive at XYZ destination, which hotel he is at, etc etc. When he is flying, honestly, I track his plane on the airline's tracking site and often text him when it shows he has landed, even if that's at 2am. I just want to be comfortable that he is ok. And knowing where/when he is/will be is comfortable to me. It doesn't mean I will freak out if something goes out of whack, but shoot..........I email DH every day just to know when he will be home lol
Yeah but the initial question is: Are you cool with my going on a yard sale trip? Or, are you going to be ok when I go on my business trip? Likewise, the very first broaching of this topic was: I'd like to take the kids on hiking trips to our various state parks, camping at the ones that are over an hour away. The immediate response: you ought to CC, otherwise I'm not comfortable with the idea. At that time (that was 4ish years ago), I didn't have any self confidence to push back, it was a rough time of my life, etc. Now the conversation is going better and that's where the "want a safety plan" and "camping is too vague" and "let's compromise with pepper spray" is coming in.
-
8 hours ago, busymama7 said:
Ok to be clear, is he uncomfortable with you and friend:s husband taking the kids camping or he is uncomfortable with you ,your friend and her husband all going on the same trip?
Neither my husband or I would be ok with the former, in either direction. However, the second scenario is totally fine in our opinion. I was just curious what exactly you meant by that.
It was originally a "Mommy and me" type trip, but one mom has 6 kids and at that time the youngest was a baby, and her husband was going to come to help out and tow their pop up camper thing. She didn't feel confident towing it, backing, it and all that. I mean, the rest of us could have helped out with babies and toddlers. The fact that he would have been there at all was the source of discomfort.
Men vs Women gymnastics-why different clothes/moves?
in The Chat Board
Posted
Well in swimming the guys get the rawer deal, so to speak, so there's that... 😄
And I guess tights for both in things like gymnastics, ballet, and ice skating are the most equitable; the case for seeing the muscles makes some sense. But I don't understand the purpose for the disparity in the volleyball uniforms. All you want to do there is avoid impeded movement, so what works for the guys ought to work for the gals as well. 🤔