Renee in NC
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Posts posted by Renee in NC
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Only in the second scenario is it a deal breaker for me. In the first scenario I wouldn't like it, but would only object if it were around my children (not happening!)
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It isn't. Yes, the programs exist, but have never been "home inspections." They have existed for years. No, it won't be mandatory.
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I've heard the ongoing paperwork and oversight involved has dissuaded people from applying. There could be a negative financial impact on the entire family if someone else has the right to decide how much savings you are allowed to have, and if there is a possibility of the "authorities" going into your bank account and taking back disability payments if you save too much. These reasons would matter more to a family who has insurance and a sufficient, stable income and less to those that don't. For the average person, though, I think $2,000 a month for meds would be a good reason to apply.
We receive SSI for a child, and I have not come across any of the above. They cannot take back the payments - in fact, they can only withhold 10% if you have been overpayed. As for savings - it isn't likely someone who has/needs SSI would have enough disposable income to have much in savings.
The ongoing paperwork has been negligible, and we don't have any oversight.
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Thanks everyone for your kinds words and suggestions. This is the last day of term for us, so we are off to a history fair, be back in a few hours.
Also
Let's not go down this path.
Ruth, I won't weigh in on the topic, but I just wanted to pop in here and say that you are awesome. :hurray:
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On one hand, it makes me happy that they remember our homeschooling years positively. On the other hand, it makes me sad because it simply isn't a possibility. I work FT, and I can't change that. I am gone from 7:15 to 6 or 6:15 everyday. It's possible that I will have to work tax season somewhere, so I will be gone even longer.
I am overall fairly happy with their school, but there are some individual issues. I think it's really about being able to see me. I'm gone so much during the week. On the weekends, they are with their Dad at our house Friday and every other Saturday night (he has nowhere to take them.) I try to be gone (for obvious reasons) but they have a hard time with that, too, as they see it as me "never being home."
I am working on hiring a nanny to be here afterschool until I get home. Once that happens, it should free up time for me. Maybe we can spend an hour or so reading together at night. Maybe their father will (a) get a real job so he can pay some child support (and keep me from having to work tax season) and (b ) get his own place where he can have the kids with him and it will help the perception change.
Or, better yet, I can win Powerball and we can homeschool again. :lol:
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He only re-posted what was already on Twitter and Instagram. Colleges could already see those, so those parents need to talk to their moronic kids about the internet being public.
What a bunch of crap. I know what I would do without a doubt. My child would have been there to help clean that day, and every spare moment from then until it was done.
I can be laid back about many, many things, but destroying others' property is NOT one of them.
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Whether family needs to be licensed as foster parents depends on the state. Here it isn't necessary, and family placements don't get subsidy. My guess is (because they are getting licensed) that in her state the kids will still get Medicaid, and counseling is paid for through that.
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FWIW, I am pretty sure this happened because he loses his temper when he has dairy. I am so tired of having this disagreement with my DH. He doesn't support keeping dairy out, and then this crap happens.
I am generally very on top of him and his temper, and he has come a LONG way and rarely hurts anyone.
Thanks.
There may be something to this. I am dairy allergic, and one of the longer-term, non-immediate effects is mood swings. I will spend a few days irritable and "fuzzy."
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Your posts, and reading the context, suggest a pattern of abuse. Sometimes that abuse includes physical components - but the abuse is present regardless.
While I want to offer you {{{{many tender hugs}}}} and congratulations, I can not support your statements above. Abuse is about power and control, and it is a choice - even in your husband's case.
He has a problem that requires treatment. The treatment for domestic abuse is specific. Marital therapy is contra-indicated here.
He is not safe. He won't be safe for a long time. If it were me, I'd have a list of "musts" that he needs to do, a list of "continues" that have to keep happening, and after a long-ish period of time, I'd consider dating/courting to consider a reconciliation.
I get you are trapped - in fact you ARE trapped. I'm hopeful you'll listen to people outside the system and not discount us by saying "we don't understand" or "we don't know him" or we are "just people on a message board." The truth is that you are in an abusive marriage. Even with help, the chances of that dynamic changing are low; they are zero without treatment and intervention.
OP, I am not going to give out a lot of details here, but let me assure you that I have been there. I agree with Joanne that he has a problem that requires treatment. Things will escalate to a point where the line gets crossed, and then it is too late to take it back. If you want to save your marriage, insist on treatment now.
I didn't, and I regret it. My marriage might still be intact if I had.
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I plan to get a breast lift and tummy tuck after I have lost all my weight and maintained it for one year. I birthed and nursed 7 children, so everything sags. Add to that the tremendous amount of weight I have lost (and more I will lose) and it just needs to be done.
If I am going to work this hard, I am going to go all the way.
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Oh good. Can we turn this into a sympathy thread? I have three boys eating me out of house and home. I used to be soooo proud of my ability to be frugal and my tiny little grocery bills. Darn that karma. Now I am practically the mayor of Kroger I'm there so often.
Not only are MY boys eating me out of house and home, but we always seem to have a few extras lurking around. I am beginning to think my 15yo's friends come because I feed them. LOL
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Ok, but how many 14 year olds have their own money? Or have much money if they do have some money? My oldest is only 11, but if he gets money it is because I give it to him.
My 12yo has people he can work for to make money, and he does so when he is in need of money. My 15yo makes his own money as well.
Then again, my 10yo is learning to drive a skidsteer, so they have opportunites and skills that most don't.
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I did it! I had done a 5K back in April that about killed me, so I was nervous. This wasn't bad at all!
I might post a picture if I can find one on the race site - we didn't have anyone taking pics for us.
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Ack! I hate even thinking about that!
Where I live, I don't know any male, teen or adult, who has any piercings. I'm not saying that it doesn't exist. I just can't think of anyone among our family, friends, and acquaintances who has any. The look here is more preppy and clean-cut (a look I have always favored). I guess I am hoping that my girls will favor that look as well.
I work for what should be a VERY conservative professional organization. We have employees with tattoos. I have multiple ear piercings and a cartilage piercing. Our AR/Inventory Manager (a man) has a cartilage piercing. I have seen others with piercings, but so far I have only seen nose piercings on the face.
Tatts and piercings are VERY common here, so that is going to drive my view of what is "normal." The funniest thing I have seen recently was at a rodeo in a nearby small town. Picture cowboys with tattoos and piercings dancing to hip hop. HYSTERICAL!
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This is what I posted on FB a week ago:
"On September 13, 2010, I dropped the kids off and went to the YMCA. I climbed on a treadmill and started walking. I walked a mile or so, at 0% incline, and I thought I was going to die. Tonight, exactly 3 years later, I did 8 miles on Chicken Bridge Rd. For those that aren't from around here, Chicken Bridge is uphill both ways and not a flat spot to be found.
I have a 10K mud run next Saturday. Tough Mudder is in 7 weeks. Who knew that one decision to climb on a treadmill would lead to my agreeing to pay someone to let me run 12 miles of torture?"
I am participating in http://www.themudbugrun.com/ today. 10K, 30+ obstacles...I just hope to survive!
This is a practice for Tough Mudder (http://toughmudder.com/) in early November. That one is 10-12 miles. This is the race that I looked at a year ago and set as my goal.
My whole LIFE has changed since that day in 2010 - I have come so far. It signifies the day when I took control of my life and refused to live the life I had been living. I finished my Masters. I passed the CPA exam. I got a job. I will have my license in a few short weeks. And it ALL started with climbing on the treadmill that day.Do Hard Things (yes, I stole that.) One thing leads to another, and before you know it you're happy with the life you've built. No, not everything was good. I am now a single mother to 6 at home and receive no child support. I still have a lot of excess weight to lose. My job is boring (I'm over-qualified.) I don't sleep much, and I am under a lot of stress (see single mother above.) Overall, though, my life is 1000% better than it was 3 years ago! -
See this is something I think a lot of people don't think about. DH once worked for a company that offered what I considered excellent and affordable insurance. But they had 2 aspects to the business. Basically corporate/engineering and production. The production people were paid far less. So for some of them the "affordable" insurance was too expensive. I thought it was unfair. To me they should have had a sliding scale based on salary.
My employer has a sliding scale based on income. I have a high deductible (which isn't high - $1200) plan, carry two adults on my policy, and get $1400 deposited into my HSA every year. I pay $50 a month. Yes, I have really good benefits!
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It is very sad. I have a friend who is trying to take care of her 3 children on what she makes as an adjunct. She is WELL under the poverty level, but hopes to become a FT professor someday.
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Thank you for being there for this kid. I see a lot of kids who have no one. Thank you.
The other mom who has been taking care of him just posted to him on Facebook how much she misses him already. This kid *is* loved, and I think he is starting to realize how much.
Maybe this will turn out well. It could be a new start for him. He is a senior in high school, and plans to go to college. His Dad has a car for him to drive, so he will be able to get a job (that was hard here because we are so rural.)
I am trying to think of the positives.
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:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
I'm so sorry. Can you send him packages and let him know you're thinking of him often? It might help him remember that he's not his environment, once he's in the new place, that he's more than that, and that he's loved.
I plan to. Even if it's just a card with $20 in it. I want him to know we are thinking about him.
Facebook is good, too. I don't usually friend my children's friends, but I made an exception in his case once he decided to leave.
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I don't see the problem. Then again, I don't have a problem with the Common Core. It's more straight-forward than what our state standards were before.
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When things get bad with his dad, I hope he turns to the memory of you being upset because he left. Perhaps some divine interception allowed him to see how you truly feel, the emotions you felt when you thought he was gone. Knowing one person/family cares can make a world of difference. Bless you.
That's a good point that I hadn't thought of. There was another mother and son he was living with when he wasn't here, and he is always welcome there, too. His girlfriend's parents offered any help he needed. Once he is 18 (in Feb), it will be easier to live on his own.
My ds and the other kid he was living with too are planning to go see him in 5 weeks or so. It's about 12 hours away, but they are already working on plans as to how they will pay for the trip. It will give my ds something to think about other than the loss of someone he feels his is brother.
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The poor boy. I'm glad he has you on his side.
The silver lining to all of this is that it helped my 15yo to see that his life isn't so bad after all. His father and I may not be together anymore, but we are both here for him.
This hits me particularly hard for two reasons. One, I was a teenager who felt like no one wanted her, and I know how terrible that can be. Two, I had a friend in college whose brother felt like no one wanted him, and he ended up committing suicide.
I just hope he really will call me if he needs anything. My son gave him $20 last night, and I offered more this morning, but he wouldn't take it. He'll need food on the bus ride.
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My 20yo moved 2 hours away back in May to live with his girlfriend where she is in college. It will be okay. Our adult children have to make their own choices, despite what we might hope for them. I only told my son that he was on his own financially, and that he was always welcome here. (As a side note, he spent last spring at his girlfriend's parents' house - it was closer to jobs and he didn't have a car at the time.)
And honestly? While she isn't making choices that conform with your values, she doesn't seem like she's truly headed down the wrong path. Give her time. My experience has been that when adult children swing to the opposite extreme, eventually they settle somewhere in the middle. You let her leave on a good note, which means that when she wants to come back, she'll feel like she can.
(((Amy)))
Exercise Thread ~ 9/29-10/5
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Insanity: Asylum