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Renee in NC

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Posts posted by Renee in NC

  1. My 15yo has a 17yo friend that has lived here off and on since last spring.  He had family problems with a stepfather, and was struggling to make the right choices in his life.  Overall, he was a great kid, and I love him like another son.  However, he was living in legal limbo - no longer living at home, but not 18 yet either.  For example, if he were really sick and needed to leave school, there was no one to sign him out, so he would have to just leave and end up in ISS for skipping (this actually happened.)

     

    Over the past 6 weeks or so, things had gotten particularly stressful for him.  School started, the school resource officer was hounding him regularly, and he was starting to feel like he was a terrible person.  The SRO was out of line, and I offered to go up the chain with it, but he didn't want to make things worse.  I couldn't do it without him, as I was not his legal guardian.

     

    Things came to head this past week, and the decision was made that he would go live with his Dad in another state.  I think it is a BAD decision, but I understand that he feels that he doesn't have a choice.  His Dad is a recovering addict, but hasn't been clean long.  His stepmother is an active addict.  I don't see this working out well for a kid who is at the "Y in the path" so to speak.  He says he'll be back as soon as he's 18.  I told him he is always welcome here, and we would get him a ticket back if he needed it.

     

    He left this morning to start on his 2-day bus ride.  I held it together until he walked out the door, then cried.  I didn't want him to see me cry. Unfortunately, he came back in to get something he forgot, and felt like he had to comfort me.

     

    I just hope things work out for him.  :crying:

  2. LOL. I agreed that it was a problem with this discussion.

     

    I don't think gang rape (did I use that word?) is a huge concern. But raping and social media fallouts from sexual encounters in general are concerns. STDs are a HUGE concern, especially with teens who, let's be honest, aren't very statistically reliable to use contraception properly and every, single time.

     

    Every female in my family for many generations has gotten pregnant young and out of wedlock. Many on my dh's side have as well (as older women, these are well-respected, successful women, so they're not just uneducated and "low class," ftr) but it was difficult for all of us to have "underage" pregnancies out of wedlock. And yes, I do see that as a huge issue when we're talking about teens having sex. Who of us doesn't have a young girl in our families somewhere close to us that has gotten pregnant? Or a boy who has fathered a baby out of wedlock? Rarely do those stories turn out wonderfully.

     

     

    Actually, I was a teen mother, and I turned out pretty well (as did the son born to me at 17.)  My stepsister was pregnant at 15, and she is in college and a wonderful mother.  I could keep going - I know of plenty of others who managed to live a successful life after unplanned, unwed births.  I would prefer not to be a grandma now, but it wouldn't be the end of the world.

  3. My oldest ds lives in Greenville near the university.  He would agree with the crime aspect - he was not happy about walking the 3.5 miles home from work at night before he got a bike.  Now he has a car, so it is less of a concern.  The cost of living is much cheaper there than here, and we are only 2 hours away.

     

    He likes Greenville, but he is 20, and it is a party town.

  4. Hey SKL, maybe you'd like to add this to the thread about More advanced work as a trend? ;p

     

    I think it was silly of her to call and silly that parents have been given fears about people like that, not because I think those fears aren't valid, but because I think it's awful any parent should feel that way.

     

    I think an average second grader (age 7 or 8?) should be reasonably expected to stay in the car for however long mom is in FedEx baring excessive conditions, extreme heat or other issue. You could have spent 20 minutes in the FedEx and I wouldn't have had a problem with it.

     

    If I had been really worried, I'd have stuck around watching the van and probably creeped you out that way. LOL

     

    Amen! A second-grader is perfectly capable of sitting in a locked car for a few minutes.

  5. She had to have called the minute I walked into FedEx in order for the cops to be there that fast.  And it's FedEx.  Not a bar, not a casino, not a hotel.  How long does anyone stay in FedEx?  I walked in there with a FedEx envelope bearing a FedEx label.  No mystery there.

     

    If you don't know how long someone is going to be away, wait a little while and then call.

     

    These are not babies, they are second-graders.  Most of us walked to school and back alone, played outside without supervision all summer, and even stayed home alone for short periods at that age.

     

     

    I absolutely agree with you.

  6. In addition, not all "mental health" issues are of the same level, and even the intensity of the same diagnosis changes.

     

    For example, Pedophelia is a mental heath diagnosis. So is Sociopath/Antisocial. I can't compare that to depression.

     

    In terms of other diagnosises, there is a point in which I would leave/separate from untreated addiciton, untreated depression, untreated bipolar, intreated borderline.

     

    Do I think that people and families suffering with mental health issues are underserved, stigmatized, and there exists many missteps? Yes.

    Do I think I need to sacrifice my kids' mental health, my adult years, or my sanity indefinitely responding to the needs of a mentally ill person...........no.

     

    This.

     

    Until you have lived a moment where someone's mental illness make him/her a danger to YOU then you might not understand.

  7. I had to use the 1 parent, 3 children (I have 6 at home) and came out with $74K.  I would say it is about right, except I don't pay quite as much for child care unless you average in the summer care for the school-age ones.  I have good, cheap health benefits and my children get state insurance, so medical is not quite that high.  Otherwise it is right on.

  8. Mostly ok so far. Lewelma may be in the US st the moment but Wellington where she lives is a bit messy again. On the other hand she may not have power yet.

     

    I'm pretty sure she is still here in the states.  She usually stays a month, and I saw her when she got here about 3 weeks ago.

     

    I'll ask her sister on Facebook and let you know.

     

    Edited to add: In case you were wondering, she is my cousin. 

  9. I don't come around too often these days, but I wanted to make sure and tell all those who have supported me over the past years thank you.

     

    I passed my 4th and last section of the CPA Exam at the end of May. I got my official "Congratulations" letter from the state board yesterday. All I need now is a bunch of paperwork and an ethics course, and I will be licensed.

     

    If you had told me in 2010 that I would get my Masters degree, pass the CPA Exam, and get a very good full-time job in less than 3 years, I wouldn't have believed you. I am proof positive that people can achieve things that seem impossible.

     

    My next goal? Tough Mudder Carolinas in November.

     

    Thank you all for all of the love and support over the past years!!!!

  10. It was also interesting to read Temple Grandin's books and read how strict her mother was with her. She wasn't allowed to throw fits or not be engaged or behave properly, even with severe autism. She was very thankful her mother was strict with her in these ways.

     

     

    ADHD does not always mean bad behavior.

     

    My 12yo isn't allowed to throw fits or not be engaged or behave properly. In 2010 he was given an IQ of 62, and I was told he needed to be in special ed to learn life skills. He was on a preschool level at age 9 and a half. A psychiatrist prescribed meds for two reasons - to control his rages (where he banged his had against the wall and said he wanted to die) and to "up his processing a little." HE noticed a difference on day 1.

     

    Three years later his IQ has jumped at *least* 40 points. He has not only learned to read, but is on grade level and has been on the A-B honor roll all year. Stimulants changed his life. He can tell when he doesn't take his meds because everything is harder. Without meds he wouldn't be where he is now.

  11.  

    I've wondered this too. I know sometimes a hospital will, for example, do tests on a kid who is suspected of being abused (to find, for example, having broken bones that weren't treated), and I wonder who pays for this, especially if it ends up not being abuse. I don't know how consent works in these situations either.

     

    Example: Parent brings baby in for flu. Doc decides to x-ray baby because of cough. Doc finds broken ribs not explained by flu or child's history as given by parents. Doc reports to CPS. Baby stays in hospital while CPS investigates. Who pays for the hospital stay if parents are found not to have abused the child? I don't know.

     

    The baby most likely wouldn't stay in the hospital during the investigation, but be taken from the hospital and put in foster care.

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