I have a 10yo just like your ds, Christine. You are sooooo right! Some people just like to complain!

I agree with you. I don't know that the answer is college for everyone, but this idea that everyone starts on the same level playing field is laughable. Hard work can lead to success, but many people have to work hard just to tread water. I don't think children should pay for the "sins" (said tongue-in-cheek) of their parents. We're not all equal in this country, not by a long shot.

I always thought I would be a SAHM too, but what everyone needs to keep in mind is that your daughter can marry someone who says that he is dedicated to her being a SAHM, but that doesn't mean it will always be that way. At least in my situation my education allows me to earn more money in less time so that I can still hs my dc. If not for that, the lifestyle choices my dh has made (both in the past and now) would necessitate me working FT or MORE in order to meet basic needs. Things aren't always what they seem when you are young.

When you compare costs, it is important to keep in mind how much maintenance and repairs will be.

We'd eat it because that stuff is so full of preservatives and it is too expensive to throw away. Yes, I have had food poisoning, but I am still not so cautious as to throw food away unless I am SURE it is bad.

Right! And is we *had* heard this before we bought our house, we would have stayed in our singlewide trailer in the bad trailer park. Yes, my dc are safer and happier in our house, but if we end up losing our house, then what's the point, KWIM? I imagine that it would be easier if my dh were on board and of that personality type. He's the type to come to a mountain in the road and sit down and complain about the stupid mountain rather than try and figure out how to go over it or around it, KWIM? Anyway, this thread isn't about me. Sorry!

I have read Dave Ramsey's book, I have been a member at his forum (and the other one), and I have listened to his radio program. I have been through FPU. We have tried, are still trying, and will continue to try. We went through the CCCS that Clark Howard recommends and they recommended that we talk to a bankruptcy attorney (not an option for us.) We spent 10 years making really, really stupid decisions and it will take way more than 10 years for us to get out of it.

I should have clarified, my dh has this irrational phobia of getting lost and it takes an act of Congress to get him to go somewhere he has never been before. Add to that the worse sense of direction I have ever seen in a person, and you have a DISASTER! LOL Mine is actually splitting firewood to sell this winter (on top of the 50-60 hours per week he already works here at our business.)

Places here don't have a delivery surcharge and my employee was getting x amount per delivery, but not mileage reimbursement. He used to bring in $1500-2000 a month at night, but he said that dropped off drastically and it wasn't worth it anymore. Now he "scraps" cars and other scrap metal stuff - much better use of time and more money. IT doesn't matter, though, my dh would NEVER deliver pizzas!

First, about the delivering pizzas thing - *how* can you make any money at that with gas as high as it is?!?!?!?! One of my employees used to do it, but he quit when gas went up (and tips went down!) Then again, I'm one of those people who doesn't have pizza delivered - I just don't get the concept when I can make 3 large pizzas for $10-12. About the mortgage - the only way I could see it possibly working for many of the workers in our town is for them to live several families to one home. Even a family making $40K (two parents working for $10 an hour) couldn't find somewhere to rent (much less buy) for $750 a month or less. You'd have to move way out, which means either taking a lower paying job ($8 an hour or so) or spending $$$ on the gas it takes to drive 60-80 miles round trip everyday. Now, I wonder what Dave Ramsey would say to the 880 people who lost their jobs last Friday when a local plant closed. Especially when that brought the total lost to over 1000 in the past 4 months - in a town with a population of about 8500.

We are self-employed as well, but we won't pay taxes until our income hits the $35K mark. We have NEVER had an income tax return that broke $30K.:lol:

In my house, we can't "spend less" as the debt has far out stripped our income. So, what do we do? Earn more - bring in more REVENUE you could say. We have NEVER paid federal taxes in our lives because our income has always been too low. I would like to change that. The federal deficit is just one of the many factors causing us to be in a recession (and that is what it is - as a small business owner who works with other small business owners, trust me!:D)

Has there been any evidence that they were forced? If there is, then they need to prosecute them to the maximum. If older men are marrying teen girls, then prosecute the men, but DON'T punish the victims by taking away their children. Also, make sure that ALL men are being punished for impregnating underage girls - not just those that are FLDS. It rarely gets prosecuted - 20 something year old men with 14-17 year old girls is not a rare thing.

This whole case has really baffled me. The media has made a HUGE deal about teen girls with young children. Ummm, yeah - when did that become a rare thing?!?!? Children are born EVERYDAY to teen mothers where the fathers are adult men! Why aren't they being prosecuted more? (BTW, I was one - my oldest's father is 8 years older than I am and I was 16 when I became pregnant.) Even in the Warren Jeffs case - a 15 year old was married to an 18 year old. Is that really shocking (as far as age difference goes - not even getting into whether she was forced or not)? Polygamy (where the spouses are adults and there is only one state marriage) - who cares? I don't. Last year, a Muslim man lost 2-3 wives and most of his children in a fire in NYC. NO ONE made a big deal over the fact that he was a polygamist. The state only recognizes the first marriage. Are they going to start prosecuting people who live in situations where there are multiple partners but they don't claim to be married? As far as the state is concerned, it is only bigamy/polygamy when one man (usually) has multiple wives that he married LEGALLY! Some immigrant groups in this country routinely have young women marrying adult men and no one is going after them either. Why all the uproar over this one group? Frankly, I think they should simply apply the existing law and apply it UNIFORMILY across all ethnic groups, national groups, and religions - not single out one group, KWIM?

I feel this way!

Okay, I will clarify my first post and say "option that leads out of POVERTY" not the only option. (And I am not saying that most people in the military join because of this - studies have shown that soldiers from low-income families do not enlist at higher rates than others.)

I know lots of people who have done this very thing. When my dh was in, one of his roommates had enlisted to avoid jail. My dh was field artillery, which is one of those jobs that "anyone can do." You didn't have to score high on the ASVAB to get in. Yes, you have to be literate, but I know a young man who left for boot camp last month because he sees it as his only way out of the poverty of his family. Whether that is accurate or not is another thread all together, but that is a common perception.

Thanks for all the help. I am looking into the speech therapy - we are somewhat limited by location, time, and transportation, but I hope to find something soon.

He is not in speech therapy - we would like him to be, but my funds are limited. I could spend the $2000 on speech therapy instead, I guess! We don't have insurance, so everything is out of pocket. So, what you are saying is to wait the 3 months for the school testing, then take those results to a private psychologist and have them do further testing and the recommendations? How much would that actually save me do you think?

I have a 7yo boy who had failure to thrive issues as a baby caused by malnutrition related to gluten. He has never been diagnosed with celiac disease (no biopsy), but the symptoms were there and going gluten free for 18 months alleviated his problems. Now, at 7, he has severe learning delays. He has just learned to count to 10. On most skills he is at a preschool level. He does know most of his letters and their sounds (after watching the LeapFrog DVDs for a couple of years), but he isn't even *beginning* to read. He has severe speech issues and his language expression is very delayed. I do have him scheduled for testing, but it is going to cost us $2,000. The school system will do it, but the special ed corrdinator at the school my oldest goes to said that private testing will get faster, better, more usable results. (The $2000 will come mostly from my stimulus rebate, though.) The question is, what will test results do for me? Am I going to get results that will really help me or are they going to simply tell me that he is language delayed (which I already know)?

Spelling - maybe. Some use copywork to reinforce spelling and don't do any "workbook" spelling. I have one child using Spectrum and two others going into MCP next year. Literature - two different things. On one hand, your child needs to read level appropriate books for "fun" reading. On the other, your child can/should read books that relate to your history, science, art, music, etc. We read the literature recommendations from Core Knowledge for "fun" and the WTM recommended books for the other. In both categories, I read some books aloud and they read some books silently. I require narrations from both (but not every book!) I think Handwriting *instruction* is separate from copywork/dictation, but my soon-to-be 5th grader is still using a handwriting curriculum because his writing is bad.

That is true - desparate can mean truly desparate. I didn't get that impression, but the internet is funny like that - we can't know anything beyond the words on the screen. And to respond to Mrs. Mungo - Sometimes there is nothing else to be done. Sometimes we could have sold everything we own except the truly bare basics, cut our budget where it isn't possoble to cut it even more, and worked all we can work. In that case, we wouldn't have a choice because the bank would foreclose if you get enough behind. However, I would fight tooth and nail before that and I would be morally obligated to repay the difference between the mortgage and what the bank sold the house for (even if my state didn't require it.) That's just me.

What I am about to say is just me, okay? What *I* would do in your situation. No stones - I am so far from perfect financially. I'd keep paying for it. $254 is not much at all - even a PT job at minimum wage would pay that in about 12 hours per week. It isn't about throwing money away - if I borrowed money and said I would pay it back, then I would pay it back. It wouldn't matter to me that we were "losing" money - the bank loaned us money and they shouldn't have to lose out simply because I am done with the house and it is trashed. Was it trashed when you bought it? Or was it because of a lack of regualr maintenance (which is what happened to ours and we are slowly returning it to the proper state.) You couldn't rent the house out for $275 a month? I'd be willing to let someone live there for free in exchange for repairs even. Do a rental purchase option (my Dad did this with a doublewide.)

What kind of mortgage payment do you have on that small of a mortgage? It can't be that much - is it really worth ruining your credit over?

We own our own business, so our dc go to work with Daddy (and Momma) EVERY day! Maybe we should do a leave your kids at home day! :lol: