[Anger management/therapy?]

:grouphug: I understand the bickering making you feel like screaming and/or throwing things. My kids are the WORST about bickering, it literally feels like something snaps when they keep on and on ... particularly when I've given them a warning. The funny thing is that other people's whiney/bickering kids don't bother me nearly as much as my own.

 

I've considered family therapy. My kids can't play together to save their lives. Never could. If we add just ONE friend, it changes the dynamic and they do so much better. I honestly find it ridiculous (although grateful that friends don't cause further issues.)

 

I've joked that I'm going to build a special house. Everyone will have a cabin with a bedroom and bathroom. The main unit will be a kitchen and dining room. No one is allowed in the main unit except for meals ;) That's about the only way to guarantee peace, keep them apart. Sometimes I throw them outside and refuse to.let them in, except for running in the basement to use the restroom, and hope they can sort it out on their own. At least I'm not listening to it. I think they do less arguing without me to complain to, anyway. I'm

 

I wouldn't run right out to replace the DS, unless you think you can come up with a schedule that will eliminate the fighting, as it sounds like they have a hard time sharing. llcan relate to that too. My oldest, especiallly, is extremely prone to selfishness.

[When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie...]

Cool. I took DD and YDS out to see it tonight. It's very bright!! We are in Chicago, I texted my mom in tn to go out and look at it but I haven't heard back. I don't know if it's clear there or not.

[I have a question for anyone who frequents Wisconsin's beaches on Lake Michigan...]

Hmmm. I don't remember there being anything that they could have "locked" on Zoo Beach. It wasn't fenced and it is just off on the side of a residential area road. Anyone familiar with that specific beach who could comment? I didn't like some of the neighboring beaches, as they were too crowded, Zoo Beach was almost deserted. It was usually us and one or two other families. So nice :)

 

I suppose I could call the hotel we stayed at last time and ask them. They are close to that beach, perhaps someone there would know which ones are open to the public right now. I think that's super odd to "close" a park/beach... LOL

[I have a question for anyone who frequents Wisconsin's beaches on Lake Michigan...]

We went to Racine a couple of years ago to visit Lake Michigan. I grew up going to WI every summer and the trip was so much fun for me (well, us, but me for memories.) We will be within a couple of hours of Racine all next month - I wanted to take the kids back to the "beach" a few times. I know it will be too cold to swim, even in July it wasn't comfortable in the water, but I was thinking a picnic lunch/playing frisbee/letting them dig in the sand...that sort of thing. However, I noticed, while searching, that the "beach season" doesn't start until May 25, 2012... what does that mean? Does it mean you can't even be on the beaches until then? I wondered if it just meant that life guards wouldn't be posted until then, so if you choose to go you can't hold them liable for any accidents...except, we went to Zoo Beach, were there almost daily for a week, and never saw any life guard. They had a chair, but no guard. So, should I worry about beach season? Are we going to be arrested if we go down to the beach to mess around? The kids wouldn't be in the water, well maybe splashing ankle deep or getting pails of water to play in the sand, but they don't want to freeze. I just don't want to get in trouble :tongue_smilie:

[Can I complain a moment?]

BUT, and he made a good point.. he normally helps her with these things in regards to the photos. He helps keep her on track & select appropriate photos. Her view on life has changed drastically over the past few years & he wonders if that played a huge part in her selections.

 

 

Then, could he pick out enough pictures to make a border? He could ask her to sew them on or offer to work with her to sew them on. I really think he needs to be clear with her that he wants his family included on this hanging, just as his siblings had their families included. I would also possibly ask her to relegate the picture of him with the niece to the border and put the picture of your wedding in the middle. Is it possible that the nieces are the ones who helped her this time, and that's why there are so many pictures of them on it? I could see a kid not thinking through what was put on the hanging. I'm just :001_huh: that she could have done, apparently, several of these and not have seen the huge difference in this one from the previous ones she's done.

[Respect nowdays for being a conservative "old fashioned" woman?]

If I heard someone say floosy (s not z) I would think they either didn't know what word they were trying to say or had a speech impediment.

 

Rebekkah, you are cracking me up. Well-trained trollop? Sign me up!

 

 

Then I think it must definitely be unique to the area in which I live. I've even heard people say they are "all floosed up" or going to "floose this place up". :D

 

As I'm wanting to move so badly, perhaps I need to drop this from my vocabulary....I don't use it often, but I'd hate to let it slip somewhere else and make someone think I'm calling them a trollop LOL

[What is wrong with me and how can I avoid feeling this way?]

My vote would be for getting more sleep. When I've not had enough rest, I tend to get sick to my stomach. I will be fine for several hours after getting up, and then just hit a wall sometime in the afternoon and feel like I'm going to vomit everywhere.

 

I agree that he needs to re-think this situation. If it is making you physically ill to go to this church every Sunday, then he needs to do some prioritizing. I would see nothing wrong with a pastor saying "I will stay with you until you find someone else, but this drive makes my wife terribly ill and we need to be able to worship together."

[Ok, I am a bad, horrible mom and I should be ashamed of myself.]

I don't think you're a bad mom, everyone has to make their own decisions with regard to their children.

 

That said, I wouldn't have done it. For one thing, because I work very hard on the "I don't care what everyone is doing - YOU need to do the right thing, even if you are the only one doing the right thing" spiel. Secondly, because I wouldn't want my child breaking a rule just because they'd found a loophole.

 

FWIW, your DD's school may well see the humor and still punish the students. I worked in a school office. We often could laugh about the things a kid did, but a rule was a rule. A broken rule had to have a consequence....if they let this slide because they find it funny, what happens to the next kid who breaks a rule? I find it sort of along the same line as class clowns - yeah, you may be funny but it's still disruptive and you're still breaking the rule....so you're going to be punished.

 

.....

 

Well, and third - PJs in a nasty public school :ack2: We had PJ days about twice a year at my kids' old school, I always bought them a special pair of "school pjs" that would "neva eva eva" be worn to bed. I don't care if they'd been washed...cuffs dragged on the bathroom floor (and I'd seen the bathroom floor), laying on those icky floors. Eeew. Couldn't do it. I'm germphobic like that.

[Can I complain a moment?]

:grouphug:

 

Oh dear, no. No, no, no. Don't hang it in the family room, not just to appease her. In fact, I'd be tempted to not hang it AT ALL, and let her wander through the hous looking for it. Then, when she asks where it is, say you didn't have ANYWHERE to hang it. When she says "What about...?", just say "Oh, we couldn't hang it THERE." and mention "{something tacky} is just so lovely, I hated not to hang IT up." .... all in a tone to match the one she used. I realize, of course, that most people will tell you to build a bridge, and they may be right, I just inherited a passive aggressive streak that rears it's head at time's like this. :D FWIW, if it was really important to my DH, I'd hang it somewhere....but I'd still tell him that it needs to be somewhere that I won't see it daily and feel hurt. Has HE said to you why he thinks she did this? Obiviously he noticed it, if he mentioned it to her.

 

Perhaps dementia is setting in? That's just crazy that you do so much for her and she appears to have deliberately snubbed you. It sounds like you get along okay, otherwise. Does she do this sort of thing to your kids, exclude them for other grandkids? This just makes me :confused: I'm sorry she hurt your feelings. I really think your DH should tell her he'd love to work with her on another one, and pick out some of his favorite pictures that include you and the kids.

[Respect nowdays for being a conservative "old fashioned" woman?]

So, OP, how did you mean the term "floosy"? Did you mean s*utty?

 

The reason I ask: Where I live, floosy and floozy do not mean the same thing. A floozy is a cheap/easy woman. Floosy, however, just means fancy or dressed up. A woman at church might tell another "Look at you, in that floosy dress. You look so nice." I always assumed it derived from floozy, but with a kinder spin. I wouldn't be upset if someone described me as floosy, but if they called me A FLOOZY, then I'd be hacked. The difference is fancy = S sound, ho = Z sound ;)

 

So, could it just be being taken in a manner it wasn't intended.

 

ETA - If my area is the only one that differentiates between floosy and floozy, perhaps that says something about the area in which I live (or the residents?) LOL

[Acne cured thanks to The Hive]

I have my girls take "Chelated Zinc" for acne. They all have gorgeous skin. My experience is the zinc has to be chelated or it won't work.

 

How much do they take? I've seen a vast improvement in my skin since cutting refined sugar and starting coconut oil (both as a moisturizer and ingesting it). I still have a spot or two now and then that I'd love to get rid of.

[Times Tales coupon Code]

This jumped out at me on the site:

.

 

For those who have used this product, do you later go back and explain multiplication and, if so, was your dc receptive? I want my dc to understand why they are doing what they are when it comes to math so am worried that while this might make learning the times tables fun, it wouldn't help them understand the process. Thoughts?

 

I haven't used this yet, so keep that in mind. My DD understands the concept of multiplication. She has been working on it for a year, she just can't MEMORIZE the facts for instant recall. It's hindering her confidence with division.... so I'm using it AFTER the concept of multiplication has been taught, to drill in the facts.

 

YDS, has not gotten to multiplication yet. I hope to use the DVD with him. I'll use it as a supplement to a curriculum or program that explains and teaches the concept of multiplication.

[Blik Blok as an app?]

This game? Hmm... all I can think of is the creationary app? I googled "app like blik blok" and came up with nothing, so I'm interested to see if anyone knows of anything. :bigear:

 

And, thanks LOL, now I have ANOTHER must have game on my list ;)

[Times Tales coupon Code]

Thank you! I just ordered one. I've been looking at them, finding a coupon code pushed me to order it ;)

[Huh, so I wonder if I can count this as History?]

If I have a DVD player that burns DVDs, can I somehow copy them myself? We have TONS of stuff that I'd like to keep, if for nothing but the comedic value LOL, but I'm not sure how to get it converted.

 

And, if I can do it myself, can someone give me baby steps?? :tongue_smilie:

 

I can't believe the VHS tapes piled up in the floor right now. As DH would say, evidence of an only child :glare:

[Teaching a 13 year old to WRITE a complete sentence?]

You might look into Time4Writing. They have a middle school writing program, and it starts with the basics. It might be a good fit for your son. :001_smile:

 

I've actually looked at that. I had never heard of it, so I didn't know if it was good. I'm going to revisit the site. Is it part of Time4Learning, somehow?

 

I recommend Killgallon -

Sentence Composing for Elementary School: A Worktext to Build Better Sentences

Story Grammar for Elementary School: A Sentence-Composing Approach: A Student Worktext

Grammar for Middle School: A Sentence-Composing Approach--A Student Worktext

Sentence Composing for Middle School: A Worktext on Sentence Variety and Maturity

 

I will look at these, as well.

 

 

Thank you for the ideas. This is about. To drive me crazy. ;)

[Huh, so I wonder if I can count this as History?]

DH and I were married in '98. Today, I was dejunking some chests for my mother (she is darn near a hoarder), and ran across a stash of my wedding videos. Yes, I think "stash" is the appropriate term...she has four copies (who needs four copies of the same thing? LOL) As I sorted the "recorded from TV mini-series tapes" from the "this dance recital seemed so important at the time" tapes, I decided to let the kids watch the wedding video. I don't think the younger two have ever seen it, I think DS watched it once at my MIL's house years and years ago.

 

Oh. My. Word. I suddenly wanted a TARDIS so I could go back to '98 and tell myself sooo many things. Or, better yet, go back to '97 and say "Skip the huge wedding, take the money and get married on a cruise. In 18 months you'll start having babies and not have the time or the money for a cruise." :D And, I still can't believe I let my ex boyfriend, who seriously broke my heart, serve as an usher at our wedding. He was one of DH's friends and he claimed to want him there for that reason....later he told me it was more of a ":001_tt2: she's a nice girl, and you messed up, and I got to have her" move. Still, you can tell that every time I cross his path in the video, I'm annoyed. Now, when I see him I just laugh, but then it seemed like SUCH a big deal.

 

My children were entertained, though. They couldn't believe I still had braces when I got married, they haven't seen their dad with a mustache before, my mom was so much younger and her hair was in a pixie cut. She doesn't look anything like the Nana with a bun that they know now. MIL and FIL were still married...that blew DD's mind. The best, though, was seeing their 20 something "too cool" cousin, who now is a big 6 foot/200 lb guy, as a 9 year old with a bowl cut. I bet he would raid my house if he knew these existed ;)

 

Anyway, I think it counts as History. I don't think they'd ever considered that DH and I existed before they were born.

[Homeschooling is just sooo hard...(sorry, very long vent)...encouragement needed]

but everything else (cleaning, dishes, laundry, schooling, paying bills) is my responsibility.:scared:

 

Well, I think you need a schedule. You also need to prioritize. Obviously, paying bills needs to be first on your list of priorities (not to DO first, but that if nothing ELSE gets done......this does, KWIM?) Also, couldn't HE do paying bills? That's not really a "clutter" issue, and what I'm reading is that he can't stand clutter. Am I wrong?

 

Otherwise:

 

Get a mail basket - DO NOT keep junk mail. Period. TOSS IT!!! Open bills immediately and write the due by date on the outside of the envelope. File them in order of date in your mail basket. Each week, take out what's due before the next week and pay it. You could do this whatever day you want to, just set a day and, if the bill is due before the next time that day rolls around, pay it.

 

Laundry - I have 3 kids and myself worth of clothes. DH travels for work and does his own on the road. I do laundry, mostly whenever our hamper is full, which typically works out to 2x per week. When I was working, I did laundry on Saturdays. No matter when you do it, have a system. I find an area where I can stack clean clothes...table, hearth, couch...and as I take a load out of the dryer, I fold it and group it by person. This makes putting it away soooo much easier. Also, don't do laundry "lazy". When you take a load out of the washer, put another load in to wash as the first load dries. When you pull the first load out of the dryer, put the load from the wash in to dry, reload the washer... You will find it gets done quickly this way (I usually have 8-10 loads of laundry a week and I don't spend much of my time on it this way.)

 

Cleaning - Have you tried doing a room or two a day? First, get your house dejunked and cleaned up. Then start a schedule - Mondays you do the kitchen and dining area, Tuesdays are for bathrooms, etc... OR if you have a day you don't school - do a top to bottom day once a week on that day. I prefer top to bottom, but that's just me. I hate housework LOL I do, however, clean the main living area daily. Sweep the kitchen, wipe the counters. Sweep the living/dining areas. Pick up (actually, I make the kids pick up) the clutter and put it away. The only things I have to add in on a top to bottom day is bathrooms and changing bed sheets. I try to have the eldest child sweep the bedrooms a time or two during the week.

 

I don't know how to help you on schooling. Sorry. I'm just too new to that. All I've got is find a schedule and stick with it. For us, right now, what is working is that after breakfast the kids go outside and work off energy while I clear away the table and get the school stuff set up. That may change by next year, when we have more lessons going on.

 

 

 

ETA: I just read your response. I think he needs a reality check. He wants you to school two kids, care for a baby, be able to take the kids places, take care of everything but the cars and the yard, and have supper on the table by 5. Does he think your name is Samantha Stevens? What time does he get home? If you've done inside housework and schooling, I think supper could be a joint effort. Or, you know, he can hit the drive through by himself ;) And the PP is right, there WILL BE messes. The difference, to me in a messy house and a clean one is whether or not those messes get cleaned up before bedtime. It looks like a hurricane hit our table during the school day, we clean it up before supper. The living room might be strewn with toys and blankets after supper, but we pick it up before we go to bed. And what is he doing when everyone is getting ready for bed? He and the 5 and 7 year olds could be picking up toys while you get the baby down.

[Teaching a 13 year old to WRITE a complete sentence?]

I'm looking at what I want to use for homeschooling next year. We brought our children home from PS in December, so we have been "schooling lite" as we attempt to adjust to homeschooling. I've also used this time as a chance to really see what areas they need some intensive help. For DS(almost)13, one of these areas would be writing. I simply do not understand what is going on with him. If I hand him a worksheet with sentences and sentence fragments, he can correctly identify them. If I ask him to WRITE something, it is an absolute mess. He puts periods in the middle of sentences. It looks like this:

 

I walked home today. It was late. in the afternoon. So my mother was home.

 

 

I can't get across to him that he is writing fragmented sentences. I have tried having him read it and he can't see the issue. How can you identify a sentence fragment on a worksheet, but not see one on your own work?

 

Anyway, clearly we need to back up and start over. I'm utterly unsure of WHERE to start over. Should I use something like WWE, starting from book 1? Our PS really does a "fly by" with this sort of thing. I know the concept was introduced, but I don't think much time was spent on it after the inital introduction. Is there a better program to try? FWIW, online would be GREAT. For whatever reason, this is one thing that he will not "just take my word for it." He will let me show him where a math problem went wrong, he will not admit that he has written something incorrectly. I was hoping that, if I found something online, it would take the confrontation (or whatever the heck it is LOL) out of making him go back and try again. I know WWE isn't online, is there anything that is? I just see WWE mentioned so often...

[state testing - aka What are we doing to these kids?]

I'm so glad we got out of PS before another standardized test. Our former school is eaten up with test fever. They always do this huge spirit week to "pump them il" the week before the test. This is after coming back from christmas break and drilling the kids daily for.months about the tests, the tests, the tests. Sadly, I know that a few of the teachers did tell the kids that poor performance on the students part would reflect badly on the teacher. In addition to the end of the year tests, the kids were constantly taking DIBELS and Think Link all year long. This year, a friend showed me a "memo" from the principal to the students that promised a reward to any student showing one year of improvement on reading or math, they could choose between an extra PE or I think attend an ice cream party. If they showed a year improvement in both areas, they got both rewards. That made me so sad for kids like my boys who tried and worked hard but didn't shoe much progress at the end of the year. They would have felt like they were being punished for poor test performance. How is that fair? "Oh, you worked hard, but you didn't improve enough. No reward for you." I would have been one livid mama.

[I Need Input Please: ADULT Bullying DD on FB]

I would probably have to call and ask the mother what on earth is going on. That is just my personality. If you delete them you may not be able to keep an eye on what they may be saying about your DD. I would want to know if they were continuing to bash her online.

 

 

Btw can someone tell me what a duck face is? I think I have an idea, but I'm just not real sure.

[Exercises for inattentive ADD ?]

Okay, I will try the Zyrtec. We already have it for DS2's allergies. I can't do evenings - they are occupied with baseball, or just their dad being home in general, and this child is so very easily distracted that he can't work with another person in the house. We can't go out walking in the morning because I have neighbors who are very opposed to homeschooling watching (that is another story). But maybe I could get some kind of workout video we could do together. Maybe something that involves the whole body, doesn't use weights, and includes some coordination exercises ? If there was a Brain Gym DVD......

 

 

I understand about evenings. That's us, too. I try to get it all done before anyone comes home/over....otherwise it's too distracting for my kids. That stinks about your neighbors. May I ask what they do? I know I have some neighbors who probably have their undies in a wad about my kids, it wouldn't shock me if one had even called the school to "report" us for being outside on a school day (Fresh Air and Sunshine instead of sitting at a desk! Oh, the horror!) This particular one even commented to me one day, while we were walking, "Oh, is SCHOOL out today?" She knew darn well my kids didn't go to school, she'd seen them out for weeks! I smiled really big and said "No, this is just PE." and kept walking. That said, I joined an umbrella school for "CYA" against anyone who thinks kids should be chained to a school ten months of the year...so I know where you are coming from.

 

For her, the biggest change was increasing her physical activity dramatically.

 

I think this is what it's going to take with my YDS. He has more energy to burn off than seems humanly possible. If we could do gymnastics, karate, etc.. during the day and then school in the afternoon or evening..... I think it would be a HUGE help. Unfortunately, where we live there are NO homeschool associations (and virtually no homeschoolers *sigh*) so no one does daytime classes. Which means we have to do them at night, if we do them, which means we have to do the work first. It's a vicious cycle. I keep hoping I can find some homeschool friendly area and move there, no I'm not kidding.

[Looks like we will finally get a neuropsych eval for DS8...]

They should definitely be able to tell the difference between these two. Ours flat out said no ADHD, just SPD. They did recommend fish oil and vitamins though.

 

That is good to know, thank you!

 

I think it's probably a good thing that the child does his "worst" during the eval. I know it feels terrible when your child, whom you've taught for years, tells people he doesn't know something- BTDT! But, you want them to see what the child is faced with daily and the reality is that if the child doesn't get the right rest, exercise, etc. this is his situation.

 

You want them to see him in his untreated, unaccomodated setting because that identifies the challenges. If everything goes smoothly, then you end up looking like you are overreacting or it's a nurture problem. My DS was so wound up and uncooperative during our first round of evaluations that the therapist is going to have to re-do some of them at a later date and for other just noted that the results aren't accurate. But, she learned a lot of what she needed to know from the fact that DS couldn't/wouldn't cooperate.

 

The search for therapies, treatments, etc. is an ongoing process and if the evaluators only saw our child at his best- we'd get much less help in the long run.

 

I say this after about 18 months into the process- what I was doing to bet DS at his best was me accomodating his needs without realizing it. There will come a time when he needs to work and be away from me and he will need coping skills and/or written acknowledgement from a professional to make sure he gets what he needs in those settings. In hindsight, I didn't realize how much I was changing our days and interactions just to meet his needs. He was my child and I was just raising him, KWIM?

 

You're right. It's so hard. She looked so apologetic when she told me he didn't know his ABC's and numbers, it felt like "You poor dear, what HAVE you been doing with him?" I'm sure that may not be the manner in which it was intended, it was just that this wound is so raw right now.

 

I know it's better that he show them how he is at home, not just be sweet and compliant, and then have them think I just have some mental need to see a problem with my kid LOL I think it just made me want to scream "Are you freaking KIDDING ME? Count to nine. Right now! Show him a number - tell her what it is." I was also mad that I *had* worked hard to get there, and then he shut down the test by saying he didn't know things. Now, maybe he was confused and genuinely didn't know...or maybe he didn't understand what they were asking....but right then I was tired, I've been in the car WAAAAY too much this past month for all these appts, my other two kids were working on school work they could have been doing at home.... It kind of made ME want to act like a 2 year old and stamp my foot. :lol:

 

It's not going to be the wrong action. Might be the wrong person for the particular practitioner, because idiots and the unhelpful do exist. But it sounds like you're going to need all three (OT, np, and VT), so you might as well keep plugging away. I would think this VT doc would refer you to OT if he saw indications of needing it. It's really easy to mis-diagnose when you're self-diagnosing.

 

ALL the nps I called were MORE than happy to talk with me on the phone before scheduling an appointment. Just keep calling in a wider and wider circle till you find one you feel confident in. Hopefully the one the VT doc suggests is good!

 

Hope your VT doc comes up with something helpful. :)

 

:grouphug: Thank you, that helps. A big part of the problem is that I'm the ONLY one trying to find out what is going on. DH is the "stick your head in the sand until all heck breaks loose" type, my mother helps me a lot, but she has no idea what to do with a non NT child, and she is in the process of retiring which is leaving her stressed enough.

 

I think I'll try calling his office and explaining that we will probably be referred to him and asking if he can answer a few things for me. I honestly haven't met many dr's who will do that. I've had ONE in everyone we've dealt with who called me and talked over something before seeing me. All the others don't even want to spend 5 minutes in the room with you when you're there, I couldn't imagine them spending their precious time on the *phone* with someone they weren't even bilking (uh, I mean billing ;)) yet.

[Looks like we will finally get a neuropsych eval for DS8...]

Hmm, ok, let me try to answer...

 

No, our insurance does not require a referal to anything. If I could get into an NP or OT on my own, they would pay (or not pay if they don't cover that particular service) accordingly. I just don't know WHO to go to, I don't know who's good/who's a quack. This is a poor economic area, the only LOCAL people we have are "talk therapists" who decide your kid has XYZ and send a statement to a dr who then writes him a prescription for various drugs. I think THAT is quackery. I know that is the only viable option to many of these people, I don't blame them for taking it, but I wouldn't trust MY kid to them. I know our insurance doesn't do coverage for anything deemed educational, so I know I'll likely end up paying for most of it OOP. That means I can't fiddle around with 10 different drs. I need to strike it right pretty much the first time. The OT place that I called told me THEY required a dr referal, they didn't care that my insurance did not. I called my dr to see if he could refer me to them, or someone else that he trusted, but I had to leave the message with his nurse (twice) and haven't heard back.

 

Um, the meds, I guess I do appear stuck on them. It's not my only focus, or fear for that matter LOL, but he is so tiny and we only just got him to eat normal meals. I really worry that putting him on meds would make that a wasted effort or stunt him further. That is my *physical* concern with them. Also, having been the person to administer psych meds to kids in PS, I saw way too much. Little Johnny who changed meds every other week because the dr decided this didn't work or that would work better, Little Suzy who took ADD meds and then became depressed so we had to give her an anti-depressant, which then made her psychotic so we were given a mood stabilizer to level her out... I saw a lot of these ADD kids on tons of medication at a time. I sort of view ADD meds as a can of worms, you could end up worse off than before you opened the bottle, KWIM? If he has issues, I don't want to further compound them by creating more issues with meds. I know we don't HAVE to give meds, even if they are recommended. I'm just thinking ahead to saying "We don't want to do meds." and thinking that perhaps we'll hear "Well, then I can't help you." because they think I'm wasting their time and THEN what?

 

I *think* what I'm asking is: Would an NP ever be able to diagnose SPD? Or would that be solely the domain of an OT? If the NP can't, and might diagnose ADD incorrectly, should I be working my hiney off to get in to an OT? I'm going to take the NP referral, and she says he's very good and I trust her, but I'm just wondering if I should try to get an OT eval out of the way before the NP sees him, and have that report in hand for the NP? Or would it matter?

 

As for why they couldn't finish the test: They did finish A test, not the one she tried to start with. She did one based on either age/grade first, and he couldn't perform because he didn't (or claimed to not) know his ABCs and numbers to 9. So she dropped him back a level and finished, I think, the test on a lower level. This wasn't solely a vision exam (although I asked if they had done those tests, and the evaluator told me no that they couldn't because he couldn't perform on that level, either?) this was a neuro-processing evaluation. The VT doctor will have her report ready on Tuesday and is supposed to call me that morning to discuss it. I'm going to call and ask if the report can be emailed to me to read it before I talk to her and so I have something to go on while I talk to her. I'll ask her why the vision part couldn't be done, I did find that odd, because I know I've seen kids in there who were much younger than him. Maybe the evaluator didn't understand what I was asking. She also seemed reluctant to talk much, because my kids were in the waiting room with me. She just kept saying "Now, she can tell you more about that after she writes up the report." I think she didn't feel comfortable telling me anything in case I misunderstood and tried to say later that she told me something else? Maybe, I'm not really sure.

 

I've had too much time to worry about this :tongue_smilie: Plus, I've seen how badly DH's life spiralled out of control when he had similar issues that his parents ignored, so I don't feel that "wait and see" is a long term viable option. He's 8, nothing has changed in years, it's time to take some action. I'm just paralyzed by the fear that it'll be the WRONG action and I'll be to blame for messing him up worse. :001_unsure:

[Exercises for inattentive ADD ?]

Also, she tends to wake up very slowly, much more slowly than I do. Like I joke I can wake up and do calculus. She wakes up and three hours later can do pre-algebra. ;)

 

Part of it for us was some mild allergies (dust, whatever) we didn't realize. I put her on a mild natural antihistamine (quercitin) and she now sleeps less and wakes up looking less zombi-ish. There's actually something to that whole allergies/adenoids/mouth breathin/snurggling/snoring connection that makes them wake up really groggy.

 

 

I think part of the first statement comes with being a mom. I know I *wasn't* a bright eyed and bushytailed kid, in fact I'm still a grump right out of bed....but now, when my feet hit the floor, I'm already thinking and doing. It just HAS to be that way, KWIM?

 

I agree with trying allergy meds. YDS has severe allergies and always woke up groggy and pissant-ish ;) I started him on Zyrtec and that helped, until all the pollen descended upon us, then I took him to the Dr and they added Singulair, so now he takes 2 allergy meds. Oh, what a difference. He sleeps well, sleeps SOUND, and is alert when he wakes up. Not compliant, not necessarily productive, but not bleary eyed and slack jawed either.

 

 

I don't know how many kids you have. Is it absolutely impossible to school him in the evenings? I know some people can do that (it would be hard for us because I have 2 others and they all three are usually in things that require evening practices or games...) What I do that *helps some* is to follow breakfast with a read aloud. It gives them some brain use, while allowing them to be passive and lazy :tongue_smilie: Then I either take them on a walk around the neighborhood or boot them out to play for an hour minimum. That helps them either work off energy OR wake up their bodies, whichever they need. It certainly hasn't been a cure all, but I can tell a difference in days where they don't get the excercise/read aloud time.