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Slipper

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Posts posted by Slipper

  1. I'm in a complicated situation and would love the opinions of those who are smarter than I am regarding real estate, renting, home buying, etc.

     

    I own acreage and a very small house that we lived in until last October.

     

    My mother and step-dad own the acreage next door.

     

    About fifteen years ago, they sold a small one acre lot, right where our land connects to my step-uncle and aunt.

     

    My step-uncle and aunt decided they wanted to move and since they had a bigger home, we bought their property.

     

    Since we were family, and their home was paid off, they agreed to let us make payments at zero interest. We did not do a title search since the land has always been in our family and the contract they signed stated that the land was free of any mortgages or liens, etc. They had a lawyer draw up all the paperwork.

     

    We recently inherited some money and after discussion decided to pay off our home to my step-uncle and aunt. They, of course, were more than happy to let us pay it off. They contacted the attorneys to prepare the final paperwork.

     

    Then we hit a huge snag. My step-dad called me this afternoon to tell me that somehow the mortgage he and my mother have on their property, includes the property we are trying to buy (and currently live on and paying for). He said that the bank (Wells-Fargo) obviously made a mistake when preparing the documents. (I'm not mentioning Wells-Fargo to bad-mouth them, but I wanted to mention them because I consider them to be a reputable company and I'm not sure HOW they made this type of 'mistake'). He said that their lawyer is going to contact them and get our property out of their mortgage but it might take a few weeks. (We were supposed to sign everything next week).

     

    As much as I love my mother, this isn't the first 'deal' I have been burned on. And my step-dad is really a snake. I'm not sure that this was an 'accident' or a 'mistake'. I don't know that my step-uncle and aunt knew about it though. They have always appeared honest to me and my step-aunt worked at a real estate company for years before retiring.

     

    Obviously, I'm not paying it off at the moment, although I will send in my next payment (due on the 15th). Nobody wants to tell my husband (and neither do I honestly), so I can't discuss this with him. He has been under tremendous stress at work and is having health issues. I don't want to bother him with it.

     

    My question is, how likely is it that something like this is a mistake? And how easy is it going to be to correct it? They just re-mortgaged their place last year. I feel like I'm being made a fool of and if I continue to smile and say that I know it's a mistake, how naive do I look? Or, is this a common mistake?

  2. I think planning for a person's end of life is a very difficult thing to do. It's also very smart and compassionate.

     

    We asked certain people to look after our kids several years ago. After they agreed, we had it written into our wills/trusts/power of attorney, etc and gave them copies. It does give me peace of mind to know that if something happens to both of us, someone will immediately show up to take care of the kids and that our life insurance will cover the costs of raising them. It's very reassuring.

  3. My daughter wants to read the book, Wicked. I am in the middle of reading The Hunger Games and don't really want to put it down to read Wicked to check for content. Would it be appropriate for a mature 10 yr old girl? I'm not worried about bad language and mild romantic content. Anything further would be concerning.

     

    Any thoughts? Thanks :)

  4. We are having a storm shelter installed on our property. It's a bit complicated, but basically, we bought this place after a nasty tornado came blasting through Alabama last year. Because our area was heavily hit, the previous owners filled out paperwork for government reimbursed storm shelters (they reimburse 75%). They ordered an above-ground shelter.

     

    Even though we are in the process of buying this place, it's still in their name and the shelter was approved. My mother/step-father (who live on the acreage next door) bought a below ground shelter.

     

    Yesterday, my mother called to say they had changed their minds and now wanted an above ground shelter - she didn't say why. Since my husband wants a below-ground, they wanted to see if we could 'switch' shelters. (I don't think the company will allow this, but for the sake of discussion, let's assume they would).

     

    I'm a bit suspicious of her change of mind and I'm looking for pros and cons of above and below ground shelters. I'd love to hear from anyone with thoughts about them, and also with thoughts about what items you keep in a shelter. It doesn't look very big...

  5. In general, I think the best approach to homeschooling questions is to take them at face value. I've learned that a lot of times people are asking just because they are curious. More and more, I've discovered after having someone question me that they are either interested in homeschooling or know someone who is thinking about it. So unless they are being rude or hostile I just answer the question.

     

    "Nope, it's not a requirement to have a teaching degree."

     

    Homeschooling is rare around here, so I DO get a fair amount of comments. I'm also known in my community for being outspoken and a bit of a disability advocate. For better or worse, I have a reputation that has already reached the high school. As a general rule, I give people the benefit of the doubt.

     

    I always answer the homeschool questions (even the innocently asked rude ones) politely. I try to look at the meaning and intent behind the question. I've only encountered a few rude ones that were 'digs'.

     

    There are days when I want to tear my hair out at some of the comments though. :)

  6. What do you do when someone asks that question? I've only had one person ask me if I had a teaching degree and I don't think she meant to be rude, only curious. When I told her I didn't (I double-majored in pych and sociology), she was a bit flustered and said that I was so organized and good at showing new concepts to kids that she thought I had a teaching degree.

     

    I'm fairly good at dodging insults and jokes, but I don't know what to say when people ask if I have a teaching certificate. The only thing I can think of is to just smile and say, "No, I don't."

     

    Any suggestions? My style is basically to avoid conflict, but if I'm in a corner, I come out strong.

  7. If I'm in an emotional situation, I do two things. One, I talk about it with my best friend who is well known for being completely honest. There are times when she sides with me, but there are also times when she tells me I'm over-reacting. The other thing that I do, is to do nothing for at least 24 hours to calm down. :)

     

    I may have misunderstood some things in your post, so feel free to clarify. if I were in your shoes, I would send a note to the teacher indicating that you were there and you saw no mis-behavior on your child's part. Then I would ask for clarification regarding what happened while acknowledging that you might have missed something (or it could be that your definition of 'not a big deal' is a big deal to the teacher).

     

    There are several things that could probably be done to help. Tennis balls over the chair legs so they don't clatter as much, maybe some hand fidget toys if he can't stay still, etc. I would also schedule a face to face meeting with the teacher. Sometimes things in writing come out harsher than vocally.

  8. My Dad is messy. Messy is probably too kind of a word, he's a slob. He always has been. He probably borders on being a hoarder. His house is falling into a bit of disrepair but he won't pay to have it fixed insisting that he can do it himself "when he finds the time". My step-mother is a dream. She loves to cook, loves my Dad but she is frustrated at the house. They both have some health problems. My Dad is almost 72 and my step-mom is 65. The house is not unsanitary (no dirty dishes stacking up, etc) but there are some rooms in the house that I haven't seen yet (they've had the house for about 15 years).

     

    I want to offer to send our housekeeper over to my Dad's house for one day to do some cleaning, but I'm worried that if I offer to send her over for a few hours they will be offended. Truly, three hours would probably clean only one room in their house, but I'm happy to do it if they want it.

     

    To complicate things a bit, I am sending my housekeeper to my mother/step-dad's house for three hours next week to help with their spring cleaning. (Mom has arthritis and my step-dad recently injured his shoulder - so there are things they can't get to).

     

    Is there any good way to word this in an email? (I do better in writing as sometimes I have foot in mouth syndrome when speaking). I think my step-mother would love to have someone over (but she may get offended). My Dad will offend easily. My Dad's health (heart problems) are such that at any moment a heart attack wouldn't be a surprise. He's far exceeded doctor's predictions and I'd like to do some nice things for him.

  9. About three years ago, I broke a rib while doing martial arts (obviously, I wasn't doing them correctly). It was right on the bra line and extremely painful and uncomfortable. It eventually felt better although it occasionally 'flares' up if I over-stress that area.

     

    Friday night, I was changing the sheets on the girls' beds and my foot caught between the mattress and frame and I lost my balance. I fell awkwardly but managed to avoid (at least) hitting my face on anything on the way down. I literally couldn't move for a few minutes. I have a number of sore areas - ankle, knee, hip, etc. I also have some pain (that comes and goes) and a LOT of discomfort on that one rib area. My right arm is numb feeling and sore (but obviously functional since I'm typing). My back is aching as well.

     

    Is it possible that I've re-injured it? I was hoping it would feel better today, but it's actually worse. Sitting is painful, laying down is also painful. I can only get comfy in the recliner. Obviously, I'm still functioning well and doing things, but lifting and bending over is completely out.

     

    Any thoughts? Should I see a doctor or do you think it will settle down in a few more days?

  10. Typically, I let her run around and play outside. She also takes extra activities like theater (lots of dancing) and soccer. I've thought about keeping track of how many toe-touches, sit ups, etc she can do and show they increase over time. That's about it for us. :)

  11. Something that sounds really silly, but was really effective with my daughter was to use clothes pins on her stuff. She was always forgetting to take things to school (homework, snack, etc). I wrote item names on clothespins (lunch, homework, etc) and clipped them to her backpack after school. The night before (and sometimes *sigh* in the morning), she would check things off as she unclipped the clothespins. It helped build the habit for checking things.

  12. Thanks. I have helped him, HAVE set up reminders, he uses a large red bag for all his gear (that I attached a laminated card to). I told him last time (when he forgot his skates and was in tears) that next time, he would have to miss practice. What if he forgets his stuff for a game? Would you make him not play, even if that affects the team as a whole?

     

    No, not if it affected the team as a whole, I wouldn't punish him.

     

    I would (after every practice), remind him to put his things away (and the first few times I would stand there and watch him). I also would (the night before or few hours before, whatever works) tell him to go check his bag to make sure everything he needs is inside (and stand over him).

     

    The first few times is hard because it takes up a lot of your time. However, it's the only way I've found to teach my kids anything. And I've also found that after NOT watching a few times, sometimes they slip (which is when I enforce the consequences). After enough rounds of watching and not-watching, at some point they get it.

     

    It seems like I have a lot of things in rotation here. :) Some are things that are going well, some are just learning, some are re-learning. We don't have a ton of activities, but we typically have something every season so I understand the frustration. There are also times when I've bought duplicates (if they weren't expensive) just to keep the frustration level low.

  13. I don't think that is too much responsibility, however, I've found with my kids that I have to TEACH them how to be responsible.

     

    It might be beneficial to set up reminders to put his clothes in the dirty clothes area, make a special place for all his clean stuff (we used a large duffel bag for each of the girls sports or activities and they knew they could find their clean stuff in that bag or they put it away there after practice), etc. We've also used checklists.

     

    I have bailed them out ONCE on things when they mess up. But after that, as much as it hurts me (and them), they are on their own. I will bail them out if their problem affects others (for example, if they couldn't play then the team would have to forfeit the game).

     

    He's old enough. Find a system that works for him and do it. :) These are life lessons and will benefit him in the future.

  14. Thanks. And yes, their work is doing quite well. My 10yo dd isn't homeschooled yet (we afterschool in math), but she's always operated independently with her other subjects. My youngest seems to be doing great. She doesn't like it when I hover (helpfully). It seems to make her suspicious. lol

  15. My 10dd is very much independent when it comes to learning new things. If I try to help her, she literally clutches the work to her chest and tells me, "Don't help me - I want to figure it out myself." Typically I leave her alone unless I see her working herself into a frenzy. Showing her something at that point typically doesn't take longer than about 5 - 10 minutes. She just needed help to make it 'click'.

     

    My youngest is showing a strong tendency towards doing the same. I've enjoyed homeschooling over the past two months but I admit that part of it is because she enjoys learning on her own. I step in to help with math and sometimes we read together (usually she reads to me). We do history together (SOTW). She's only 7 yrs old though and I wonder if I should be doing more hands-on instruction? Unlike my 10dd, she will ask me if she needs help.

     

    My youngest is doing well in her schoolwork. I've ordered the book "What Every First Grader Should Know" (or something like that) and will check for gaps.

     

    Is this okay or should I push harder to instruct?

  16. It sounds like the flu. The nasty thing about the flu is that you can end the flu and begin complications (like pneumonia or nasty sinus infections). I had the flu with sinus infection and thought I was dying last year. Seriously, I worried that I wouldn't wake up when I went to bed. I was sick for nearly a month. It was horrible.

     

    I went to the doctor twice and they gave me some strong meds to help with the nasty symptoms, congestion, coughing, and it had also triggered reflux which made me feel like I was gagging all the time. If you can, go to the doctor. I hope you feel better soon.

  17. My husband always wanted us to homeschool but I didn't want to give up my free time. :)

     

    Then, I realized that our school district was very, very weak and my daughters were actually tutoring other kids rather than learning new material. And so we started thinking about homeschooling.

     

    Then my littlest started becoming ill - stomach aches/cramps, diarrhea, daily vomiting, lethargy, etc. We pulled her at Christmas, and she has been improving health-wise every week. She still has morning stomach cramps that she takes medicine to help settle them down. But everything else went away. I'm now completely sold on homeschool. :)

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