" To attempt more often models poor self-care, and that is harmful for EVERYONE. Not only does it hurt us, but it hurts the kids in the long run. They learn to see mom as expendable, and treat her badly, and then also treat themselves as expendable later on." I agree with this strongly. I'm going through a similar decision and am struggling. Thank you for saying this so cogently.

I'm all ears. I'm very interested in how to enable my girls to stick up for themselves (especially since I was exactly like your daughter and have only learned how to stand up for myself in late adulthood, and I'm still not good at it). The only thing I can think of is role playing. For instance, going back over what happened and brainstorming ideas on what the child could have said or done that he/she would be comfortable with and then role playing it to gain a bit of 'experience' with standing up for him/herself. Repeat with any other situations that have happened recently. Maybe making up imaginary situations so the child gains more confidence about 'this is a situation in which I've been treated wrong and can stick up for myself' versus other situations in which one could handle in other ways. For instance, situations in which you should tell an adult right away. Mainly, reassuring the child that pretty much any time they feel like they've been treated badly he/she does indeed have the right to say something, and practice some rehearsed phrases that he/she can resort back to without having to try to think of them on the spot. I've had a couple conversations like this at bedtime with my girls, right before or after bedtime reading before saying goodnight. But not enough. I even made them repeat the phrases a couple times so they'd be ingrained. I remember reading two books that were on this subject a couple years ago, but can only remember one of them, "Queen Bees and Wannabees." An Amazon search might turn up similar ones, with reviews. I recall that there were some ideas in there. It was more geared toward middle school age, but I do remember that I went away from it with the recollection that I should re-read it when my daughter is about 8 to 9-ish. (which is now)

I did the Whole30 back in November specifically hoping to address three long-term health issues: a dry/flaky scalp that has been getting worse over the years, arthritis/joint pain, and a very long-term digestive issue (20 years of intestinal and nausea attacks every few days, sometimes quite painful). I'd eliminated wheat for a month or so a couple times before and not noticed any difference, and had eliminated dairy for up to 2 years multiple times before and not seen any difference. Ditto alcohol. I'd been primal for 2 years and spent a lot of mental effort trying to figure out what it was that I was eating that was causing these problems that hadn't been solved by primal eating. But I still couldn't figure it out. I thought Whole30 looked like a nutritionally and scientifically sound approach to figure it out once and for all. So, I did the the Whole30 for a month and... didn't notice any improvement. That month ended with Halloween, and I very injudiciously pigged out on Halloween candy and... didn't notice any problem with it. But I went back on Whole30 for an additional 2 weeks and ... the problem got worse over the course of the 2 weeks. At which point I thought maybe my problem didn't have anything to do with specific foods, and I just ate whatever I wanted over Christmas holidays and January and... my digestive problem got better (supporting the idea that maybe it had nothing to do with specific foods). But I did gain weight and the arthritis and scalp condition deteriorated. Then I read the "Mood Cure" by Julia Ross and embarked on her ambitious supplements program, figuring I'd give it a month. And... I got better. Attacks were almost completely gone, just a barely noticeable blip every few days. Scalp cleared up completely. Arthritis pain improved. But, meanwhile, I've been eating pretty poorly the last couple months and want to get it under control again. I don't think the Whole30 is going to cure anything for me, but I do see it as a solid structure to help me gain control of cravings and get back on more solid nutritional ground - not to control specific symptoms, but just for improved overall long-term health and weight control/maintenance. Although the Whole30 didn't produce dramatic changes for me, I do want to be clear that primal eating did produce dramatic changes for me compared to SAD eating. I'm having a hard time giving up dairy this time around, but otherwise the shift was easier this time!

I'm in on this too. Without even having seen this message, I intended to start today, but there were still leftover Easter goodies tempting me and I didn't do so well. Tomorrow is the day. I'm glad to have someone else to be accountable to, or else it's too easy to just let things slide. My hubbie is on board in name only, and he doesn't really hold me accountable if I slide. I've been primal for over a year, and did a Whole30 back in November too.

ooo, I'm psyched to see other paleo eaters here! I'm curious to hear what others make... maybe get some ideas! My favorite for simplicity is ground beef with homemade taco seasoning mix and a bit of pureed tomatoes or tomato sauce or tomato concentrate. I have a big jar of this seasoning mix sitting in the cupboard, so I can just toss in a tablespoon from the jar. I serve this on top of greens (red or green leaf lettuce seems to taste the best with this). The kids get this with rice, or even rolled up in tortillas (gasp!) with cheddar cheese and sour cream. I also regularly do a roast put in the slow cooker with horseradish slathered over it (using the real kind of horseradish from the refrigerated section in the grocery store, not the shelf-stable 'creamy horseradish' with lots of additives). For those that eat dairy (the kids and hubby), the slow cooker liquid can be mixed with sour cream to make a sauce. Then the ubiquitous salad as a side. (Side note - I purchased a horseradish plant to see if I can grate the root and can it or freeze it to use for this dish.) Another favorite is chicken breasts with salsa cooked in the slow cooker. I usually puree the salsa (using a hand blender in the container) so my kids don't complain about the tomato bits. For those that eat dairy, I put grated cheddar cheese on the top and could also accompany with sour cream. The kids also eat rice, so they eat this with rice. Ubiquitous side salad. This can also be eaten on top of salad greens. I also really like ground beef simmered with jar pasta sauce (I've found a brand that I comfortable with paleo-wise, or one could just use pureed tomatoes and add the spices... oregano, garlic, etc.) and served over spaghetti squash. The kids didn't like this at all but then finally came around to it b/c I served it so much. Ubiquitous side salad. The leftovers are always good. My personal favorite (but not the kids), and a bit more effort, is ground turkey cooked with butternut squash or spaghetti squash and chopped onion and garlic with some spices - like coriander and cumin. (I don't remember the spice mix off the top of my head, but I just google 'ground turkey squash casserole cumin' and see what suggestions appear.) Freezes and reheats pretty well, but a bit watery. The kids have also come around to liking chili. I do make it with kidney beans, though, so it's not straight paleo (at least they're dried beans that I've diligently soaked ahead of time). And I do serve it with rice and dairy to the kids, although I don't eat the rice myself. Freezes and reheats great.

I was diagnosed with arthritis of the spine 2 years ago, age 40. Lots of pain, numbness in the hands, stiffness in the joints in the morning and poor sleep quality. But I've found it almost completely resolves if I avoid all grains and all sugars. I'm also learning that tomatoes bring on the pain, so I'm considering eliminating nightshades as an experiment. For me, personally, the pain is controlled on a high-meat/fish/fowl, high-fat, high vegetables diet (every meal with a big serving of vegetables or two). Whole food, unprocessed. Low fruit, no grains or sugars or legumes. Mark's Daily Apple and Whole9 web sites could be good sources for information. But good luck with whatever approach you choose to try! Arthritis pain can really drain your energy.