cave canem
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Posts posted by cave canem
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Also meant to say that
Leaving a food mess behind is not the same as choosing when to do a chore.
Cleaning the toilet, vacuuming the car, dusting the banister are maintenance tasks that can be done at a variable time, but even then I wouldn't say at any time whatsover.
If I spill a cup of coffee on the floor or spread a big craft project on the kitchen counter I don't just take care of whenever. I made a mess, and it needs attention so that other people can enjoy and use the space.
I had another sign before: Leave the place better than you found it.
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I never understand the conclusions drawn from the "relation-trumps-all" viewpoint. What basic behavior should we excuse able-bodied housemates from out of fear of being disowned in five years? I don't think I should function as a domestic servant in order to be acknowledged as a mother.
If it is reasonable to put away things, it is reasonable to do it within a given time frame. This seems to be the way the world works in general. I put a sign up in our kitchen: Do it now. I read it aloud if someone starts a phone fest with a mess still strewn around. What is the real hardship in finishing one thing before starting another?
I would not keep trying to persuade him how reasonable you are. Just lay out the expectation and come up with a consequence. Does your son get to drive his car to school no matter what? My son isn't supposed to leave for school until the dishes are done. We drive him, but I don't think his having access to a car would change the chore expectation.
For a while each family member here had one assigned plate, mug, bowl, spoon, fork, knife. Only one sharp knife was left in the kitchen. Any dirty dishes left around were disappeared to the basement and had to be fetched by the owner to wash and reuse. Everyone's habits improved pronto.
I wouldn't die on a made bed hill, but I do think there are limits to acceptable room mess.
edited to clean up an incoherent sentence.
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Thank you. That thought has been growing on me since I posted. I don't know why I resisted it so much. Looks great on the social studies roster.
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My son is an art/STEM person. His transcript has 7 credits in English. The social studies section is, on the other hand, looking weak.
One of the English credits is Lukeion advanced research writing. The course description clearly outlines an English class, but most of the hours my son spent on the class was in history/sociology research. Is there any way to draw attention to this content in a way that says, "Hey, he doesn't have a ton of credit here, but look at all of this relevant work.?"
I could write a note in the social studies section of the course description document, but I think that will bury it.
If it matters, the most selective school he is considering is in the second-tier, below ivy sort of group.
Thank you for any ideas.
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If you know someone who will have a baby soon, you could pick up a shower gift now.
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any sightings lately?
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Is the common application flexible with respect to which category a given recommender is in?
For example, if for school A, a recommender's letter is submitted as from other, can the same recommender's letter be submitted as from teacher for school B?
Also, are the forms completed by a teacher and an other identical?
Thank you.
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Qustodio lets you block certain apps while allowing others, and it works for phones too.
We use Qustodio for our computers. We have not found it to be reliable for cell phones.
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When I saw this title, I thought, "a good reason I don't have a Facebook account."
Concerning the actual import of the thread, my grandfather was an ice man in Chicago and was menaced by one of Al Capone's minions for not yielding while he was carrying ice up steps. Al Capone told the minion to back off and leave the ice guy alone. My grandfather died when I was in elementary school, and I only saw him a few times. My father is the one who tells this story
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Then I guess they never have the desire to do extra tasks to earn their own thing, or when they get older no desire to get a part time job to get some money to save up for anything . Because they may lack the drive to have pride in their belongings, cause they never have their own belongings to take pride in.whatever they earn will just be communal.
The Tragedy of the Commons
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Since rejection/selection for mostly shallow reasons is already a fairly significant part of that system anyway, how could anyone prove that they were rejected for being trans- instead of various other reasons?
I could see a more clear-cut situation developing when the trans status isn't discovered until after pledging, say after moving into the house.
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The Wall Street Journal
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The responses here have been very helpful. I am still following up on suggestions. Thank you all for sharing.
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I have a ds who has a low tipping point for screens. Unfortunately, he loves them. It is an addiction for him and, when he has too much, he displays addictive behaviour--lying, over reacting to cutting back, withdrawl behavior. It's scarey. This summer I read Reset Your Child's Brain, which really helped me continue to have resolve in this matter and even to cut back more. He is doing so well.
I am curious about how invested he is in the parameters you've implemented and whether you think he will stick with them when he leaves for college, if that will be happening soon.
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Lucky!
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Last summer when I went we were not allowed to bring our phones into the building. I didn't see anyone with a laptop either.
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That's very weird. If you google hyperlexia, you will see autism mentioned several times without even clicking on a link. Hyperlexia does not equal autism, but I can't imagine anyone saying it's an anti-ASD thing.
I am absolutely certain that no professional has ever mentioned the possibility of ASD with this child.
However, with the evidence piling up against me, I recant what I reported was said to me about hyperlexia/ASD. I cannot believe our practitioner would be ignorant of the correlation you describe. I must have misremembered that part.
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Hyperlexia and ASD are related. That may answer why her responses seem a bit off.
Weird. We were told in evaluation that hyperlexia was a sort of anti-ASD thing.
I noticed the empathy issue, and I think that it should be worked on if it is at all amenable to work.
Beyond that, I am not sure what I should be looking for or asking for. This child is a standout athlete and musician, popular with peers and well-liked by adults, and starting to bloom academically.
Do I ask for an eval for ASD on the grounds I described? Do we care if she is on the spectrum? Is anything to be done about that? Is it just a framework for finding subtle anomalies in addition to the empathy deficit? Can the anomalies be ameliorated?
As you can see, I am quite ignorant about all of this. If you have a favorite relevant book, I welcome a recommendation.
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Thank you for the clarifying questions.
I am not sure how I would be judging someone by my own standard. I am trying to work with the dictionary definition of the word and what the child says about her perceptions.
ASD has never been suggested by any one who knows her, including her pediatrician, a neuropsychologist, and the tutor that worked with her on her hyperlexia. My own reading hasn't shown me any red flags, but I have no close experience with ASD.
When I write that she seems unmoved, I am not referring to the absence of dramatic exhibition--that isn't our family style.
At any rate, she has no trouble expressing the full range of emotions about events in her own life--she laughs, cries and yells. However, when we talk about a situation in which someone else is expressing emotional pain, she doesn't seem to be able to understand how the person feels or why, and she seems indifferent to it, whether it results from her actions or not. She does see humor, which seems inappropriate to me, in some such situations, but she doesn't seem to want to hurt people.
I haven't seen any hostility toward animals. She would love to have a dog, but we have no pets right now due to allergies of a sibling.
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My children all had a lot of hair at birth, so I couldn't see the contours of their scalps.
However, one child's head felt so bumpy through his hair that I referred to him as "the Klingon."
He is currently in high school and doesn't seem to be remarkable neurologically or cognitively.
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I know that people of this age can be insensitive, but this child seems remarkably unmoved by any suffering, whether she is on the scene or just reading about a situation.
I have been through this age with several of her older siblings, and this seems really different.
Does anyone have any experience/advice? Does it make sense to start therapy for this?
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I also have two codes for a free box--two meals--for new Hello Fresh customers. Pm me if you want to try it.
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After reading the posts about so many factors that work against walking, I realize how conducive the geographical setup here is to walking. Most of the other social/lifestyle factors aren't applicable to this population.
I have seen more students walking to/from the high school since my original post. We are having a lovely fall.
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1 to 2 miles from home to the high school.
Even though I lived in a flat city, so no uphill both ways, I did walk a similar distance to school in midwestern weather.
Is this considered too taxing now?
Older teens and chores
in The Chat Board
Posted
You could use the framework of every task's having a beginning, middle and end. Just don't forget to finish the task. Do the end.
going the bathroom: begininng = shutting the door, pulling down clothing; middle = excreting; end = pulling up clothing, flushing, cleaning up any mess, washing hands. When the task is done, everything is as when he started.
For eating breakfast, beginning = getting out/prepping food; middle = eating; end = putting away food, dishes, wiping crumbs/sticky from counter. When the task is *done*, everything is as when he started.