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Posts posted by lailasmum

  1. It's definitely possible to make money creating sites but there's a lot of competition. I've done a bit, I prefer the development side vs the design side which is more making things work vs deciding how they look and there's a decent amount of work if you are good.

    I'm doing a computing and IT degree at the moment that's fairly broad and something like that could be a good degree. She can figure out the direction she wants to go without being hemmed into just the design side. 


  2. Microwave, 

    Egg cooker,

    waffle/toasted sandwich maker

    Random selection of jars/bottles and junk

    At least one box of eggs most of the time. 


    Tea caddy,

    Pot with teaspoons.



    Food waste caddy for our council collection. 

    Various cleaning products.


    Our kitchen is small so there's no other space for a lot of this stuff even if I wanted it to be somewhere else. 



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  3. 10 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

    Even before kids I didn’t like to park besides other cars. I don’t understand why your husband would choose this unless it has to do with proximity to business/bad weather. I have changed my mind about where to park based on shade but usually not by others if I can avoid it. 

    I think for him there's an appeal to lining up the cars neatly. He's not fussed about parking in a busy area and being in close proximity to other people.  I've often had to point out he's chosen an awkwardly tight spot in my opinion rather than to park in a less busy area.  I didn't drive before I had kids so I can't say what I would have been like but I probably would have chosen more space as I'm inclined to prefer a bit more personal space in life generally. 

  4. My husband will always park alongside the existing cars in an otherwise empty car park, I always park where there's loads of space. I think some of it is because I'm the one with the experience of getting kids and shopping into big cars so I appreciate the extra space.  He always drives little cars and hasn't had to deal with getting kids in and out or doing big grocery shopping trips enough that he's realised how much easier life is with more space.

  5.  We know one neighbour really well and the others only in passing. All our immediate neighbours are older people. The ones directly to our right and opposite are a nightmare so I avoid having contact with them. I don't really know the people further down our road except for one family that are good friends of my mum. 

    • Like 1
  6. I would think anaemia. My mum got very anaemic when she was ill a few years ago. That got sorted because she had an iron infusion but it came about because she hadn't been eating properly because of her illness and since she often has no appetite and has to chose to eat. From what I understand It's common for older people to not have a huge appetite. My mum looked so frail and pale and I know from my own experience how pale you can get with anaemia. 

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  7. I've got a few difficult branches and some of that is because of cousins marrying. It gets really confusing. I usually find a bit of a break from it helps me but I've given up in some areas. My cousin does a lot of the more complex chunks because she has the time and she has been trying to solve a mystery with DNA but it's not given light to any really useful information yet.  I just keep going back to it and things do get figured out. 

    • Like 1
  8. 15 hours ago, Jenny in Florida said:


    I know this is meant in a supportive way, but I have to say that, for me at least, this kind of "help" was really almost the opposite.

    I've spent my entire life knowing I was not attractive. I heard that ugly duckling cliche so many times. I read and saw so many stories about awkward teens who inevitably blossomed. I was constantly reassured that I would eventually grow into myself.

    It was all lies. And when I sort of "woke up" in  my 20s and realized that time had run out and that I was never, in fact, going to turn out to be a swan, it hit me really, really hard. 

    I spent a lot of years genuinely struggling with feeling like I was/am less worthy of care/notice/respect/love/consideration/everything because of my appearance. (Full disclosure: I still have days when I'm convinced that's true.) 

    No matter what anyone says, I will never believe or internalize that my physical appearance is anything more than passable. So, it's a waste of breath for anyone to argue the point. And, in fact, having someone I love try to argue with me actually chips away at my trust in that person and erodes my relationship with him/her, because it is so clear to me that he/she is not being truthful with me. I feel like I'm being either taunted or patronized.

    The only thing that has ever helped me is to try and shift the focus.

    So, while I am not suggesting that a parent actually agree with a teen who says she is "ugly," what I appreciated over the years was having people help me learn to value myself for reasons that were not in any way dependent on my physical appearance. 

    Eventually, I made peace with my physical self (mostly), and I found ways to present myself to the world that don't make me more uncomfortable than necessary. The vast majority of the time, I just don't think a lot about what I look like, beyond aiming to dress and groom appropriately while drawing as little attention to my appearance as I can manage. 

    The objective truth, of course, is that the OPs daughter probably isn't "ugly," but I would also argue that whether she is or not probably shouldn't matter as much as many people seem to think it should. And I think the emphasis on trying to prove to her that she's wrong likely isn't helping.

    This is all so accurate. I'm also not attractive and come from a family of fairly unattractive women.  I do find it hard to put my self out in the world and be seen because I know I'll never look good no matter how hard I try and I'm aware of how much people judge each other by their appearance. It's really hard knowing you'll never come out on top in those situations. The best I can get to is mostly looking ignorable as an adult.  I haven't really had the experience of family building me up and helping me learn to value myself for other reasons. I don't think they ever had that themselves.  If I voice that I'm ugly and it's hindering me in some way then I don't want someone to say I'm pretty to them as that feels like they're not hearing my problem and want me to shut up and not bother them with my distress.

    One thing I keep thinking is also whether a teen who is constantly saying I'm ugly is being triggered by something they're comparing themselves to like Instagram beauty images. I'm very prone to comparing my appearance to women who work in the field I want to work in who universally seem to be pretty, photogenic, and really stylish, It definitely causes me moments of distress that I'll voice as I'm ugly and makes me dwell on my appearance more than I otherwise would.

  9. I feel like in acting and performance generally the right kind of quirky face gets a pass. Like with models certain types of unusual facial structure looks really good when filmed or photographed so they don't hinder a career. I think some talents do overrule this though and you can look more averagely beautiful in certain areas like comedy.  Varied bodies are really hard to find much of though.  I think famous people in non-performance areas might yield more of a range of appearances but I'm tired and can't really think of anyone now.

  10. Pros are mostly the things everyone else has said, things like being able to cope with individual needs and make your own schedule. 

    Cons are isolation and lack of social opportunities, there's not a lot going on in the home education world here for kids over about 9 and no teen community really. Also finding reliable sources for qualifications both materials and exam centres is hard. Things change so fast and I'm not finding options as reliable as I would hope. 

  11. I totally agree with all the people who say leave her alone in this area. I know for me attention placed on my appearance has always felt nasty and I like to be casual and comfortable. If she's happy with what she's wearing then I don't think it matters. My 14 yr old wears nearly the same thing everyday in a variety of colours. Just a pair of cords or jeans and a t-shirt. She doesn't think about her appearance outside of being the right temperature and comfortable.  

    • Like 1
  12. I've never liked icing and I'm not a huge cake fan. I tend to prefer things like carrot cake with a smear of not too sweet lemony-cream cheese. I feel like I can always taste the colouring the in icing and it's metallic and unpleasant and I also hate buttercream and nearly all common icings. They taste bitter and nasty to me and so often are just there to cover up a mediocre cake. 

  13. It must be really hard to go through this. A close friend has an eldest child who likes to blame her for everything and can get very aggressive and nasty about it all.  Her three close in age siblings are totally different and don't have the same attitude. Eldest child is completely unable to see how difficult she is and the major problems she's totally responsible for just with her approach to life. Everything is everyone else's fault. I hope a few years down the line things will work themselves out.

    I have some personal experience of blaming my mum for things but after I was through my early twenties I think we both changed and are very close. I guess you get to a point when you realise parents are just making up as they go along and even if you grievances are valid there's not a different way things could have gone. 

    • Like 2
  14. I have heavy curtains with an additional blackout layer. It's not as dark as I'd like and I'm thinking of adding an extra blackout blind. There's also a very recently added voile on a tension rod because we've had an unusually sunny summer and I wanted to have something to diffuse the light coming into the room for my plants.  I personally prefer really nice blinds but I think for a lot of windows curtains work better.  I used to sleep well in bright light and like being woken up by early morning light but I don't anymore. I'm a very light sleeper these days. 

  15. It would and has really annoyed me when people have given away things that are mine but they see as unused. My mum actually did this to me once. Took a pan I didn't use often and gave it to my brother.  It was one of my cast iron pans for a specific purpose that I didn't use frequently. Since she doesn't really cook much she just thought it was unused and didn't understand it was something I wouldn't use a lot but still wanted. Not sure what use my brother would get out of it but it was probably misused as a frying pan.  I never got it back but my brother is moving soon and I might see if he's still got it. 

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  16. I went with my toddler daughter and another female family member about 13 yrs ago. People are really friendly and very into kids. Felt very safe walking around. I remember being out in the evening and not thinking twice about it but we weren't out that late with a little kid with us. Taxis are cheap and everywhere. We used them a lot. The sales patter in a few places can get overwhelming but it's not everywhere. We got lost once but I think it would be easier now with using something like google maps to locate yourself. One of my favourite places was the Jardin Majorelle . We went twice. There were some shopping areas where you could buy local goods that were less intimidating than the souks. One we went to was Ensemble artisanal. I bought two cups there that I used in the bathroom and my cat broke one of about three weeks ago so I've been thinking about that place a lot. It's pretty easy for tourists really, just be sensible and respectful.

  17. I hate long gushy posts on facebook. My husband used to do it until I told him I hated it and wouldn't acknowledge anything aimed at me. I generally hate public displays of affection in all forms. I  tend to think of these kinds of posts as strange because it's totally done to get attention and they could so easily be privately messaged to an individual.

    I do like holiday photos though because I love to see places around the world and the different experiences people have had. I can easily feel happy and excited for them.

    • Like 1
  18. I don't really do Aldi often as it's too far but I nearly always swap out the pump top on our hand soap and it's a big brand. I'm not sure If certain styles have a high failure rate but with every batch of hand soap bottles we buy, they have at least one pump that won't open. 

  19. I'm super untidy and live in a small house so to cope my tendency is to get rid of whole groups of things and Konmari did at least give me a better framework for doing that. I get a lot of joy out of well designed practical items but I always struggle with clothes because what I like clothes wise is different than what looks ok on me so I'm always tempted to get rid of too much and end up with not enough clothes. 

    • Like 2
  20. I find my son does better when he has breaks from screens. Either all screens or just specific aspects. I always struggle with activities for him so I probably rely on screen entertainment too much for him. My eldest doesn't seem to have such issues but I heavily limited her screen use when she was younger and she's not so dependent on them for her entertainment. She fills her time with a lot of creative projects and most of her screen usage tends to support that rather than the other way around.  I would never totally get rid of their access to screens, some weeks the online community is their only access to other kids as we don't have much of a home education community locally especially for kids over 9 or so.  I'm doing a computing and IT degree so I'll not be limiting my own screen time anytime soon. 

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